No Words
by moonshoesangel
Summary: As a child, Castiel lost his family, but found a new one with John and Sam Winchester. After fighting along side his best friend for many years, he is damned to Hell, but saved by a powerful being- an angel named Dean. Castiel had been led to believe his whole life that he was a human, but after discovering the truth, he must face an old lover and save humanity from the end.
1. Prologue

**Attention: Moonshoesangel has begun writing Supernatural fanfiction!**

**I'm a Glee writer mostly, but you can't deny the amazing canon of Supernatural to take and totally screw up! Just kidding, this is actually not poop on a screen I hope (don't kill me!)**

**I've written a great deal of this story already and hope that you enjoy! Reviews=angel kisses and who doesn't want that!?**

**This is a Destiel AU. Castiel is a human who is taken in by John and Sam Winchester when he is a boy and loses his family to demons. The demons are after him because they know something about Castiel that he doesn't and won't know until he is a grown man and is visited by a peculiar angel with a strange name: Dean.**

**Castiel's character in this story is closely related to Dean's in canon, but with slight differences. Dean's character is nothing like Castiel's in canon. Ye be warned. Sam is just Sam and we love Sam. Unfortunately, the Impala will likely come along later. Cas drives a truck. He just looks like a truck guy to me in my head. DON'T KILL ME, OK!?**

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><p>The little boy slammed the bedroom door behind him, muffling the screams from down the stairs. He leaned back against it, his eyes wide and wandering, looking for something- anything- that would protect him.<p>

More screams and a second voice- one he didn't recognize- met his ears. He threw himself under the bed and covered his eyes, reciting the short little prayer his mother often recited with him at night before he went to bed.

He was always a frightened little boy. His mother and father told him he just watched too many monster movies, but he couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling he often got as if someone was watching him, waiting for him to make the first move. He would ask his mother and father each night to check under the bed, in the closet, behind the door...and each time, his mother would coo and do it, smiling when no monsters were found. His father would sigh deeply and throw open the closet door. "See? Nothing there."

It had all been lies. When his father and mother came in the living room, eyes black and empty, smiling like they had finally found water at the end of a long desert...he knew it was all lies. Monsters were real and they were there for him.

The new voice was reciting something in a strange language-Latin..how did he know that? The floor shook beneath him and he started to cry, burying his head in his hands and squeezing his eyes shut. Make it stop, God, he prayed. Please make it stop.

Almost as if his prayer had been answered, the shaking ceased. The screams stopped and there was silence that made his head hurt. The only sounds were those of his sniffles and boot steps coming rapidly up the stairs.

The door flew open and light flooded the room. He climbed from beneath the bed and grabbed the baseball bat next to his nightstand.

"Woah, woah, easy," a calm, strong voice that appeared as a shadow in the surrounding light beckoned to him. He blinked back his tears and tightened his grip on the bat.

"It's ok, we aren't going to hurt you," he moved closer and the boy could see his face in the light. It was dusted with stubble, his hair dark and slightly ruffled. Behind him was a boy...a boy holding a sawed-off shot gun and wearing a kind expression.

"Wh-who are you?" the boy's small voice shook. The man placed his own gun on the bed and knelt down to his level.

"I'm here to help you. What's your name?"

The boy let the bat fall back against his shoulder, still not letting it go. The man's eyes were soft and warm, even with the blood dripping down his forehead.

"Come on, I promise you're safe with us. What's your name?"

The boy glanced between the man and the boy, whose brown eyes were shining and curious. He still held his gun close. The man noticed he was watching the gun.

"Put the gun down, Sammy. You're scaring him."

The boy, Sammy, placed his gun next to the man's on the bed. He turned back to him, urging him with his eyes.

"C-Castiel...my name is Castiel."

The man's eyes widened a little bit, studying the boy's face. "Well, Castiel...my name is John...this is my son Sam," he nodded toward the little boy. "We're going to need you to come with us. We're gonna find you a safe place to go, but until then you need to stay with us."

Castiel dropped his bat to his side. "Mom...Dad..."

John's eyes shimmered a little. "I'm so sorry, kid...they didn't make it. Those monsters in them...those were demons. They must have killed them before they came for you..."

Castiel's eyes dropped to the floor and the bat clattered on the hardwood. "No..."

John placed two hands on Castiel's shoulders, steadying the boy. "I'm sorry...but we are going to take care of you. I promise."

* * *

><p>Dead. His grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins...everyone who was ever connected to the boy...dead.<p>

John sat at the table in the hotel, his hands shaking. How was he going to tell the sad little boy that there was no one in the world for him? Castiel slept restlessly on the bed near the door while Sam sat cross-legged on the floor, wiping down his tiny sawed-off shotgun. John looked at Sam, only 7 years old, and wondered how in the world he would feel if he were all alone. Sam looked up at his dad, a small small crossing his sweet little face.

"Dad? Is Castiel gonna stay with us?"

John looked over at the little boy sleeping on the bed, knowing good and damn well he could never just let the child go off on his own. There would come a day when Castiel would have to know the truth. Not just about his family, but about why the demons were hunting him in the first place.

"Yeah, Sammy...he's gonna stay with us."

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><p>"This is called a shotgun," Sam sat across from Castiel on the floor, holding his own little sawed-off in his small hands. "We put salt rounds in it and it hurts ghosts and demons."<p>

Castiel, eyes empty and staring at Sam's hands as he spoke, nodded slowly. Sam sighed and put the gun down.

"Are you ok?"

"I miss my mom and dad," Castiel said quietly. Sam scooted a little closer, his knees bumping Castiel's.

"My mom was killed by a demon, too...and my big brother. My dad and me started hunting demons and found out that all this other bad stuff was out there hurting people. Now, you can help us. Dad calls it "justice"."

Castiel looked up at Sam, silent tears falling down his face. "What's justice?"

Sam shrugged. "It's kinda like...they hurt you, so you hurt them. Every time I kill a ghost or exorcise a demon, I think about how mad I am that monsters killed my mom and brother...so they get what they deserve."

Castiel thought about that. He was angry. Really angry. He picked up Sam's little gun and held it in his hands.

"How does this thing work?"

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><p>After months of teaching, gun ranges, and long nights of tears and anger, Castiel finally joined John and Sam on his first hunt.<p>

It was a vampire nest.

"Now remember, kid, bring them down, then swing hard, ok?" John handed him the machete, placing it into small, shaking hands.

"If you don't want to do this, Cas, you don't have to," John whispered to him. Castiel's heart swelled a little bit like it always did when John called him Cas. It made him feel like he was tethered to John. It was their own little thing.

"I'm ok. I promise," Castiel nodded. "I'm ready."

John smiled and nodded. "I know you are. Let's go."

The first slice through the neck of a vampire was something Castiel would never, ever forget.

"I'm proud of you, Cas," John gripped his shoulder after the hunt. Castiel's heart was racing, his blood hot and his gut full to the brim with fire. Sam was right...justice.

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><p>Castiel sat on the tailgate of his truck, his shoulder aching and his blood pumping furiously through his body. He tossed his machete into the back of the truck without wiping off the blood of the vamp he had just decapitated. He pulled out his phone to call John for the hundredth time. At 26, Castiel had surprised himself with how much he depended on the man who raised him. After Sam had left, John was not the same, going off for days at a time by himself to come back, drag Castiel along for a few weeks, then drop him off again. Castiel made his own way, though, finding small hunts here and there to keep busy.<p>

No answer again. Castiel cursed and pressed end. After much debate, he let out a deep sigh and put his tailgate back up. He hopped in his truck and drove like a mad man. He had to get to California.

Breaking in was nothing. The dumb bastard had gotten rusty on his security. Castiel walked slowly through the small apartment, glancing around looking for any sign of movement, but there was only silence.

It was the creak of the floorboard that gave him away. He slung around and grabbed the bat that went for his head and slammed his attacker against the wall. The man tried to kick him but he grabbed his foot and kicked him back into the room and held him down.

"Getting a little rusty, there, Sammy," Castiel couldn't help but smile. Sam was lying on his back, surprised expression the same as it was the last time he saw him four years before.

"Cas?"

Castiel stood and helped Sam up. "We gotta talk-"

"Sam?" he heard a woman's voice and looked up to see a beautiful woman in a Smurf's half t-shirt and underwear.

"Well...hello," Castiel smirked. Sam whacked his shoulder.

"Cas, this is Jessica. Jess, this is my best friend, Castiel."

"Cas is fine," Castiel stepped forward, but Sam stopped him.

"Castiel...you're the one that grew up with Sam, right? His dad took you in?" Jessica asked, smiling sweetly.

Castiel nodded. "Yep, that's me. I'm four years older, by the way, so if you ever decide you want a man instead of a boy-"

"What did you want to talk about, Cas?" Sam cut him off, rolling his eyes. "And why didn't you just call or at least knock!?"

"Would you have answered?"Castiel asked, his expression questioning. The circumstances of Sam leaving had not been pleasant. Castiel and Sam would always be close- as close as brothers- but Sam and John...

Sam glanced down then back up. "Ok...so what's going on?"

Castiel looked between Sam and Jessica. "Could we do this in private?"

Sam furrowed his brow. "No. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of Jessica," he placed an arm around the girl's waist. Castiel let out a deep sigh.

"Ok, fine...your dad hasn't been home in a few days."

Sam looked unphazed. "So? He's Dad. He'll come stumbling back in before long."

Castiel rolled his eyes and stepped forward. "Your dad is on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days."

That changed Sam's tune. After a moment, Sam cleared his throat.

"Jess...I need to speak to Cas alone."

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><p>It had been two years since Jessica was killed by the yellow-eyed demon that killed Sam's mom and brother- killed John. Now, the yellow-eyed demon finally got what he wanted.<p>

He got Sam dead.

Castiel drunkenly stumbled toward a crossroads not far from the old townhouse he brought Sam's body to and buried his box in the ground containing one of the many fake ID photos he had.

"Where the hell are you, you son of a bitch?" he mumbled, looking down each road for a sign.

"Hey, that's my mother you're talking about," he heard a beautiful voice behind him. A woman with dark brown hair and a pair of red eyes greeted him.

"Castiel...honey, you really don't know when to quit, do you? First your mommy and daddy, then John...now Sam..."

"I wanna make a deal," Castiel growled, facing the demon. An amused smile came across her face.

"And why would I even consider making a deal with you?"

"Ten years...give me ten years and you can have me then...just bring him back. He's like a brother to me. I can't lose him. He's all I have!"

"No," she said simply and turned away. Castiel gritted his teeth.

"Five then! Please!"

"Why should I give you anything?" the demon turned around, anger on her face.

Castiel fixed her with a look. He was getting desperate.

"Damn those puppy-dog eyes...I shouldn't do this, but fine. One year and one year only."

One year. Castiel gulped hard and centered himself. "And you'll bring Sam back?"

"As good as new. But don't even think of trying to weasel out of this deal. The second you find your way out, Sam drops dead." the demon placed her hands against Castiel's muscled chest. "So...deal?"

Castiel gripped the back of the demon's neck and kissed her hard, sealing his fate and signing his death warrant.

Castiel had decided at the moment he sealed the deal he had steeled himself to pain...

...But the pain of having your guts ripped out by hellhounds was unimaginable.

So were Sam's screams of anguish.

Castiel didn't die right away. He saw Lillith smoke out and Sam drop down next to him, gripping him tight against his chest.

"Come on, Cas...it's ok...you're ok..."

Castiel wanted so bad to tell Sam that that was true, but he knew this was it for him. After the many times he stared death in the face, he knew what it looked like. This was the end for Castiel.

Pain. Blood stench. Burning flesh.

Sam's face died away and now he was staring up into semi-darkness. This was it.

This was Hell.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 picks up after he climbs out of Hell and where the real meat of the story begins. The canon up to this point is about to totally change. The Apocalypse will happen, but not for a while and not with Ruby. Lillith with make a comeback later than she does in canon.<strong>


	2. From Hell

**I'm in a posting mood today, so you get chapter 2 for free. **

**Next time, that'll be three fifty...**

**I already know what you are going to say at the end of this chapter**

**"HE DIDN'T SAY THE 'RAISE YOU FROM PERDITION THINGYTHING!"**

**This is Dean...that was Cas. It's one of Cas's best and most memorable lines and it'll kinda make since as you learn about Cas's past.**

**ONWARD!**

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><p>Castiel smelled life before he felt it punch him in the gut. There was a stench of wet dirt and old pine wood that filled his nose before the lungs in his chest reinflated. He gasped for air in the stagnant box he found himself in and scrambled for purchase. He was no longer in Hell. Where was he?<p>

He reached into his pockets and found a lighter, flicking it with clumsy fingers until the small space lit up.

"A coffin?!" he rasped. His voice was almost non-existent. He started beating against the ceiling of the coffin, dirt crumbling down onto this face as he finally broke through the moldy wood.

It seemed to take hours of scraping, but finally, he felt fresh air hit his hand as he reached up through the dirt and found the surface.

Castiel crawled out of the ground, gasping and breathing heavily as he rolled over on his back. The sun was impossibly bright, causing Castiel to shield his eyes. As he looked around, he noticed something odd. It was barren around him. Carefully, Castiel stood up and looked around.

Trees lay uprooted for around a mile around him. It was a haunting sight.

Castiel looked around for a road for almost three hours before he found one that led to a gas station. It was deserted, which made Castiel both relieved and a little upset. Being topside must have been a dream. Seeing some real people who weren't demons would have been a nice reassurance.

He tossed his jacket off, leaving him in a black t-shirt and jeans that were layered with sweat and dust. That was when he noticed something...

No scars. Castiel had accumulated an embarrassing number in his life time, but they were gone. He lifted his shirt, searching for the claw marks from the hellhounds, but there was nothing but tanned, toned skin. A twinge in his arm made him roll up his sleeve and there, burned into his skin, was a large hand print. His blood ran cold. Did something ride me out? he thought.

The ache in his stomach from dehydration and hunger quickly interrupted his thoughts. He ran over to the cooler and pulled out a bottle of water, downing the whole thing in only a few seconds before reaching for another. Castiel packed up a bag full of water and snacks before heading over to the counter and working open the register, ripping it open and taking out all that he could.

Castiel jumped as he heard the radio fritz. He reached over and turned to dial to turn it off, but to no avail. The television came on, showing white noise and making Castiel glance around nervously. It was a slow build, but a ringing began to rattle Castiel's ear drums. He made to run out of the door but the ringing became so bad it brought him to his knees.

The windows flew in, shattering over Castiel's head as a wild force rushed through the gas station. Castiel buried his head in his hands, shielding himself from the blast. He must have been delirious. There was no way that horrible ringing noise had made the sound of his name.

'Castiel' he had heard among the blood rushing to his head and the shattered glass bouncing off the floors.

The room finally settled and he looked around, half expecting to be back in the Pit, but there was the gas station, utterly destroyed around him.

Castiel ran out to the phone booth and started dialing Sam's numbers. None of them picked up.

With a curse, he started to dial another number- Bobby. Bobby was a friend of John's who had helped him and Sam often on their hunts. The old man had been there for Castiel in his last year.

"Hello?"

"Bobby? Bobby, it's me-"

"Me who?" Bobby's curmudgeonly old voice scoffed.

"It's Cas."

There was a slight pause, then "Call here again and I'll kill you."

The line dropped and Castiel slammed the phone down. "Fuck," he mumbled. He looked around and found an old car.

The trip to South Dakota was slow going, seeing as how it had been four months since he had driven a vehicle and he hadn't quite gotten his land legs back. He finally reached the old salvage place and hopped out of the car.

After a few knocks the door finally opened and there was Bobby, same ball cap, flannel shirt and vest he always wore, looking like he had seen a ghost.

"Hey Bobby," Castiel smiled nervously. Bobby looked him over, then struck.

Bobby was quick for an old man, but even after months in the Pit, Castiel had his arm behind his back in a second, fighting away a knife with the other.

"Bobby, come on, it's me!"

"Sure it is, Hellbitch!" Bobby snaked his flask out of his back pocket, elbowed Castiel in the gut and doused him with Holy water. To his surprise, but not Castiel's, Castiel didn't burn.

"I 'm not a demon!" Castiel rasped.

"Then you're a shapeshifter!"

Castiel growled and ripped the knife from Bobby's hand, pulled back his sleeve and cut his arm, blood dripping off the wound, but not burning. Bobby looked lost.

"See? It's me..." Castiel handed him his knife back, but Bobby didn't take it. Instead he threw his arms around Castiel's shoulders and gripped him in a bear hug. Castiel finally realized it was all real. He was really home.

"It's good to see you, boy," Bobby said low in his ear. "Welcome home."

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><p>When they went tracked down Sam, they didn't expect to find a beautiful woman in her underwear opening the door of his shady motel room.<p>

Sam's reaction to Castiel walking into his room was much like Bobby's, frightening the poor girl to death when Sam whipped out a silver knife and held it to Castiel's neck.

"I've already done all that, Sam, it's really him," Bobby pulled Sam off him, taking the knife. Sam studied Castiel for a moment.

"Cas?"

Castiel smiled and nodded. "Yep."

Sam wasted no time. The boy was a monster and it took Castiel a second to catch his breath after Sam almost broke his ribs in a hug.

"Air, Sam, air," he gasped and chuckled.

"So...are you two together or something?" the girl behind them smirked a little, making Castiel give her an odd look.

"No, no, this is my best friend, Cas. Look, I hate to run you off, but..." Sam started, but she smiled and waved her hands.

"Totally understand. Bro time, right?" she smiled and dressed before walking out of the room. Castiel gave Sam a pointed look.

"So this is what you've been doing while I was rotting? Banging chicks?"

Sam couldn't hide a blush. "Dude, I thought you were dead. Speaking of which, what the Hell are you even doing here?"

Castiel filled him in like he had Bobby, but this time, he included the gas station. Bobby popped him on the back of the head for not mentioning it earlier, but after he told them, the other two men were confused.

"You said you heard your name?"

"Like someone was trying to talk to me...I don't know. And then...there's this," he slid off his jacket and revealed the handprint on his shoulder.

"Holy shit," Sam gasped, touching the edges of the burn with his fingertips. "What is that?"

"My first thought was that some demon rode me out, but...I don't think a demon would have the juice to do something like raise someone out of the Pit."

"Demons don't," Bobby said in the voice Sam and Castiel knew meant that he was thinking.

"Is there any way to find out?"

Bobby shrugged. "I know a psychic. Maybe the other side has heard whispers."

* * *

><p>"I can't see...I CAN'T SEE!"<p>

Castiel was in shock. He had no idea this would happen.

Pamela was a psychic friend of Bobby's, a sexy cougar if Castiel did say so himself, that graciously offered to help them communicate with whatever had burned its hand into Castiel's skin.

It all seemed to be a blur as he held Pamela on the floor, two large burned holes where her eyes had been less than two minutes before, but there was the name. Whatever it was told them its name.

Dean.

It played in Castiel's head like a bad song as they loaded Pamela into an ambulance.

"Now what?" Sam asked. Castiel's blood was still cold from the sounds of Pamela's screams...and the odd feeling he got when the thing spoke to her. It was as if he and this thing were somehow connected. There was a pull to this thing and now he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Days later they sat in a diner, Castiel hanging up his cell phone after getting an update on Pamela.

"She's out of ICU. Said she should be ok."

"That's good," Sam nodded and picked at his salad.

"It's not good, Sam, I'm the reason she's there in the first place. We got a name- Dean. Maybe we can interrogate the demons. See if they know anything."

"Right, Cas, let's just string one up and see if it'll talk," Sam gave him a look that he knew from years of experience was a bitch face. Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Fine, whatever..."

Their waitress came over and sat down in the seat next to them, looking between them with a smile on her face.

Castiel cocked an eyebrow. "Um...Can I help you?"

"Heard you were looking for us," the girl's eyes turned black. Castiel glanced around the bar, the patrons and the cook watching them closely, eyes blacked out.

"Damn," Sam mumbled. Castiel placed his hand on his knife.

"So...big man strolled out of the Pit...I bet you feel real good about yourself."

"I sleep well at night, yeah...what do you know about how I got out?"

The demon chuckled and crossed her legs. "They don't tell me much."

"Not in your paygrade?" Sam smarted off. The demon glared at him then returned to Castiel.

Castiel leaned forward a little, then slapped the demon across the face.

"Cas, what the fuck!?" Sam reached for his knife, but the demon didn't move. She shook off the slap like it was a mosquito bite.

"They aren't gonna do anything...they don't know who pulled me out...and they're scared," Castiel told him, never breaking eye contact. "Whatever it is, you don't want it coming after you, do you?"

The demon gathered herself and fixed him with a look. "Whatever it was...I don't want anything to do with it."

Castiel nodded. "Ok." He pulled out a twenty and slapped it on the table. "Come on, Sam."

Not a single demon followed them toward the door. Castiel threw it open and Sam cautiously walked out.

"Don't ever do that again," Sam growled at him.

"Well, now we know...it wasn't a demon. Whatever it is, it's got power."

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><p>Bobby glared at Castiel from across the room. How the boy had talked him into summoning this thing he will never know, but here they were in a barn in the middle of nowhere, sigils of every religion and spell craft painted on the walls. Bobby had just finished the incantation and had seated himself on a table.<p>

"Now what?" Castiel asked.

"We wait, dumbass," he growled and cocked his gun. It took some waiting. Thirty minutes or so.

"Did you do the spell right?" Castiel finally broke the silence. Bobby fixed him with a glare and Castiel shut his mouth.

The roof of tin started banging. They jumped up, weapons ready.

"Wishful thinking...but maybe it's the wind?" Castiel kept his eyes on the door, which was starting to crack open as the building shook. Lights overhead began to flicker and explode.

The door opened and a large shadow had them freezing on the spot. It was a man, or so it seemed. He walked slowly and with purpose, the commotion around him not phasing him at all. Bobby finally pulled his gun up and began to shoot.

Nothing. The man continued to slowly walk as rock salt filled his skin and punctured his shirt- a plain olive t-shirt with jeans and what looked like work boots. If Castiel had known better, he would have assumed the man was merely human. His eyes were shimmering emerald, fixed in determination as he moved closer to them. Their weapons empty, they stepped back.

The man faced Castiel, slightly towering over him, but his eyes were not threatening. They seemed a little comforting to Castiel and the feeling he felt at the séance returned.

"Who are you?" Castiel got out as he reached behind him at the table for his knife.

The man tilted his head a little. "I'm the one who saved you."

Castiel's skin grew goosebumps at the sound of his voice.

"Yeah...thanks for that..." Castiel pulled his knife around and stabbed the man directly in the heart. He looked down, eyes a little amused, and pulled the knife slowly from his body.

Bobby came toward the man with a crowbar, expecting to crack the man's skull, but without looking, the man grabbed it and placed two fingers to Bobby's forehead, dropping him to the floor.

Oh shit, Castiel thought to himself.

"Your friend is alive," he walked over to the opposite table and flipped lazily through a book on the table.

"Who are you?" Castiel stepped forward cautiously.

"You can call me Dean," he didn't look up.

"Yeah, Dean, but what are you?"

Matter of factly, Dean looked up at Castiel. "I'm an angel of the Lord."

It must have been the nerves because Castiel laughed out loud.

Dean quirked an eyebrow. "Is there something funny?"

"Angels..." Castiel shook his head. "Angels aren't real."

"There is an angel standing in front of you, Castiel," Dean held his arms out and in a flash of lightning, Castiel jumped back at the sight of a large dark shadow- wings- against the back wall of the barn. They stretched all the way up to the roof and around for a piece at the corners. "How can you say what is in front of you isn't real?"

Castiel stilled his dizzied mind long enough to find the question he had been wanting to ask.

"Why did you pull me out of Hell?"

Dean stepped forward and straightened a little, a sense of pride in the answer he was about to give. "Because God commanded it."

Castiel furrowed his brow. Angels? God? None of that was real. It was true, Castiel believed in what he could see. He had never seen God and, until now, had never seen an angel.

"Why would God want me out?"

Dean's eyes seemed to go soft. Until now he had seemed very professional and emotionless. Now, it seemed he was about to tell Castiel something he knew he didn't want to hear.

"Because angels don't belong in Hell."

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><p><strong>WHAT!?<strong>

**Yeah, another thing I didn't mention is that my author's notes are ridiculous.**

**I imagine the Castiel in this story to closely resemble a younger Misha. Longer hair, maybe no scruff...baby Misha I guess.**

**Dean is more like season two Dean. Getting older, but still has the softer voice...**

**The trench coat will come along. It won't be Dean's though. lol**


	3. No Words

**Mk... got some favorites, got some reviews...this is good.**

**Anyway, so yeah, started my new job at the hospital yesterday (I'm a baby nurse! woot. well...babies to 18 years old lol) so here's chapter three! prepare to NOT be safe from any drama this time around...sorry.**

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><p>The long, apologetic look Dean was giving him stretched into thin moments where Castiel seemed to be slowly processing what Dean was saying.<p>

"I was assigned to a rescue mission...you. God sent 40 of us down, but only three made it back. Castiel...We were sent to rescue an angel from Hell..."

"Yeah, I get that, but why did you pull me out? What happened to this angel you were supposed to save?"

Castiel wasn't dumb. He was highly intelligent for a man who never did homework or finished high school. Dean, however, looked into his soul, telling him what he didn't want to hear again, and he felt like a total idiot.

"No," Castiel shook his head, turning around moving to leave, but then remembered Bobby was unconscious on the floor and Dean was still boring holes into the back of his head.

"You don't remember...it's not unusual for a fallen angel to forget-"

"Shut up," he growled at Dean and ran his hand through his hair. "My parents were Bill and Ana Novak. I was born in North Carolina-"

"Reborn," Dean said softly. "I'm sure this is all very confusing and a little frightening..."

"No shit," Castiel spat at him. "I'm not an angel, ok?"

"I am here to help you come to terms and try to assimilate you back into Heaven. It was God's will."

Castiel shook his head. "Look, just...go, or something."

Dean sighed, his eyes gaining back the apologetic look, then walked over to Bobby and woke him. The old man jumped up to his feet quickly and stared, awestruck, at the angel.

"I'll be in touch, Castiel. Pray for me if you need me."

In a blink and a whoosh of what sounded like feathers in the wind, he was gone.

* * *

><p>"Angels...real angels?" Sam asked again, amazed by Castiel and Bobby's discovery. Castiel came home and went straight for the shower. He figured if he sat in there long enough, the supposed 'angel' in him would wash away. He didn't tell Bobby or Sam what Dean had told him. Now, he sat with a beer on the couch at Bobby's while Bobby read through books of angel lore and Sam gushed about angels.<p>

"It makes sense, though. An angel is one of the most powerful supernatural beings in existence. Surely it would be strong enough to get you out."

"It took forty," Castiel grumbled into his beer, acting unimpressed by the power of the angels.

"Well, apparently this Dean guy is a big deal," Bobby piped up, looking up from his book. "There are tons and tons of stories in recent years from different people who have said that an angel appeared to them in times when their babies were in great danger and gave them warning. Called himself Dean. In the lore his real name is Diniel. Why he calls himself Dean, I will never know."

"His name is Diniel, that's why," Castiel hopped off the couch, stumbling a little after his fifth beer. "I'd change my name, too."

Bobby quirked an eyebrow. "You ok, kid? You're hitting it pretty hard for noon."

"I'm peachy...an angel of the Lord pulled my sorry ass outta Hell," he grinned. "Why not celebrate?"

Sam gave him a look. "Yeah...you've been acting weird since you guys got back earlier. Did he say something to you?"

"Don't worry about it, Sammy," Castiel walked over and pulled another beer out of the fridge and shut it a little too hard.

"He did. Come on, Cas, did he tell you why God wanted you out?"

"Shut up, ok? Forget it!"

The glass bottle in his hand shattered. He wasn't even gripping it hard. His hand was dripping blood from his palm where it had cut him but he was too freaked out to care. Bobby and Sam stared open mouthed at him.

"Cas...come on, sit down and just tell us what he said..."

"I'm gonna to take a shower," Cas's voice shook.

"You just had one-"

"Fuck you, Sam," he stormed up the stairs quickly and slammed the bathroom door. Castiel turned on the cold tap and washed his hand. The cut wasn't deep and it didn't hurt. He thought about the night before, meeting the angel Dean and discovering that he may sort of, kind of, be an angel. It made his blood boil to think about his entire existence being a lie. He considered praying to Dean, but shook off the thought to turn on the water in the shower, making the room disappear in steam.

* * *

><p>It had been two weeks and still he refused to tell Bobby and Sam the truth. His true nature seemed to begin to settle in and he decided he ought to figure out what being an angel meant, but not before ten a.m. the next day. He was trying to fall asleep when he heard a whoosh of wings in the kitchen. Looking up from his pallet on the floor, he saw Dean leaning back against the kitchen sink.<p>

Castiel hesitated, but finally stood up, the hem of his sleep pants bunching around his toes.

"It's creepy to watch people sleep," Castiel said softly so he wouldn't wake Sam, who was asleep on the couch, and Bobby, who was taking a cat nap at his desk.

"I wasn't," Dean said simply. "How are you, Castiel?"

"Fanfuckingtastic, Dean. I find out God and angels are real, find out I'm an angel, and blow up a beer bottle without even trying all after rotting in Hell for four months..."

Dean tilted his head slightly. "That was sarcasm."

"You're a bright one," Castiel snapped back. "So, you're the baby angel, then? Watch over the sweet innocents while they sleep?"

Dean gave him a soft smile. "It is my created job, yes. You have done your research."

"Not enough. I don't know who I am."

Dean looked as if he wanted to speak volumes, but he simply shut his mouth and nodded.

"You're not gonna tell me shit, are you?" Castiel leaned against the counter next to Dean, who stared at the floor.

"It's part of the process, Castiel. It's slow and it's painful. Once you come further into your powers, I can give you more information. Putting too much on you at once would be catastrophic."

Castiel shook his head. "What can you tell me, then? I'm going crazy here."

Dean sighed and looked up at Castiel. Angels seemed emotionless robots to Castiel the more he read about them and thought about Dean, but the look in his eyes...it was borderline sad and longing.

"You were a good angel. You did what you thought was right."

Then he was gone. Castiel stared at the spot where Dean stood before, feeling a slight ache in his heart. He felt like the angel wanted so terribly to tell him everything, but knew it would be disobedience and Dean would fall, too. Castiel leaned back against the sink and ran his hands through his hair. He just wanted to know.

* * *

><p>Sam and Castiel sat in a motel room not far out of Shreveport. They had stayed busy at Castiel's insistence. The less time he had to think, the better. It had been two months and Dean had come to him several times, little pieces of information leaking out occasionally. Castiel began to notice things about himself that he hadn't before, like his ability to move very large objects. The first time he did it, he had been trapped behind a chest of drawers while a poltergeist beat the shit out of Sam. He pushed forward and the thing flew into the opposite wall and shattered into pieces. At first he thought it was the poltergeist, but Sam had destroyed it just before. It seemed that the more Dean visited him, the more weird shit he could do.<p>

Sam nursed a dislocated shoulder while he waited on Castiel to clean the blood off his hands.

"Ok, get ready," Castiel said. He placed a hand on Sam then heard a crack. Sam cried out for a moment, but then...

"Cas...you didn't even do anything and it's fixed."

"I touched it," he furrowed his brow and looked down at his hands. Sam thought then pulled up his pants leg to reveal a large gash on his leg.

"Here, try it on this."

"Sam, maybe I just put pressure on it or something-"

"Just do it, Cas," he insisted. Castiel sighed and placed a hand over the gash. The skin seemed to slide together before their eyes and when his hand pulled back, there was no gash, only left over blood. The two men stared at it for what seemed like hours before Castiel stood back.

"Dean, get down here A-SAP," he said into nothing.

"Dude, what are you-"

Dean appeared directly behind Sam, causing the tall man to stumble back. It was the first time Dean had appeared to him with someone else in the room.

"Hello, Castiel. Sam Winchester," he nodded to Sam. Sam slowly put out a hand for him.

"It's an honor. I can't believe angels really exist."

Dean studied the hand momentarily before taking it in his and shaking it firmly, not responding.

"Dean, why am I suddenly Dr. Quinn?" he held his hands up furiously, breaking the cordial air around Sam and Dean.

"You're not, you're Castiel," he looked at the man, confused.

Castiel slid his eyes closed and breathed deeply. "I just healed Sam. With my hands!"

Dean looked a little worried. He never seemed to care before when Castiel told he me was doing weird shit, but Castiel saw a change in his facial features that indicated that something was about to happen.

"What is it, Dean?" Castiel finally asked.

Dean slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small notebook. It was very, very old. It's pages weren't even made of paper. It looked like it was leather bound with papyrus. Castiel took the book when Dean handed it to him and studied it carefully.

"Castiel, you seem to have return of many of your powers. The more you talk about your time as an angel, the more it comes back. That book...it was yours. There are things in it that will grant you passage to the time when you were in Heaven. I will explain everything else when I can. I'm needed in Heaven. Please...read it."

Castiel looked down at the ancient book as Dean flew away. Sam let out a breath.

"What...the hell?"

Castiel opened the front of the small book and saw writing. It was obviously not a pen...maybe a quill? The words on the page were in a strange language, but Castiel read it aloud.

_'No words'_

Sam furrowed his brow. "You can read that?"

"Yeah...what do you think that means?"

Sam shrugged and Castiel sat down at the small table and opened the first page.

"Looks like it's just little notes. No date on any of these pages," he thumbed through it. "Looks like my journal."

"Are you gonna read it or not?" Sam sat down on the bed facing him.

"Dude, my private journal I didn't know about, not yours," he held it closer to him. He read the first page and felt like he was reading someone else's story.

"I don't remember this..._'I walked along the river today. I saw a small fish crawl up onto the bank. My big brother told me 'Do not step on that fish, Castiel. Big plans for that fish'. Father's plan was to remove its feet. Poor fish.'_" I must have been a child. The handwriting is kind of terrible."

"I still can't believe you can read that. Also can't believe you took up a whole page for a fish."

"Dude, I was a kid...do they have angel kids?" Castiel asked almost to himself.

"Just skip ahead a little bit," Sam shook his head and Castiel flipped a few pages over and saw a name he recognized.

"Elias?" he questioned. Sam looked at him closely.

"Do you know him?"

"The name...when I was five, I had an imaginary friend...I called him Elias because I got the name in my head one day. I had never heard it before. Thought it was fake or something...'_Elias and I watched the Earth today. A storm was on the ocean. I have never seen a real storm before. Maybe one day I can see one.'_ "

The next few pages were similar- yearning to venture down to Earth, training notes...then-

"_'I do not know what is going on,'_" Castiel read, "_'An odd feeling has come over me. Today I was introduced to Diniel. He will be my comrade in battle. He is strange.'_ Got that right, he's strange."

"So, you were war buddies? Why didn't Dean tell you that?"

"Who knows. And this 'odd feeling'? It's like I'm trying to break a code or something," Castiel read it a couple more times, but it didn't change. He felt his own odd feeling. One that he had experienced more than once at the mention of Dean. The connected feeling. He read a little further- Babel, Moses, Egypt- then he froze, staring at the page.

"Cas?"

He slammed the book closed and stood up, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Cas? What is it, what'd it say?"

Castiel fought the urge to hit something. "I'm gonna go for a walk, ok? Don't wait up."

Castiel shoved the book in his jacket pocket and barreled out the door. He practically ran around the corner of the motel and dropped back against the wall, slamming his fist back and cracking the concrete.

"Dean...you can't just give me this damn book and run off...come back..."

Nothing. Ten minutes, then twenty...

"Dean! I swear to God, get your ass down here," he growled, hot tears in his eyes starting to roll down his face.

Nothing.

He slid down the wall and buried his head in his hands. The words on the page were burned into his memory forever.

_'I kissed Diniel today. Why, I do not know. He kissed me back. I felt another odd feeling. Is this what love feels like?'_


	4. Thunderstruck

**Wow, right?**

**Yeah, onward!**

* * *

><p>Castiel didn't talk about the book again, though Sam asked several times. They went for a hunt in New Mexico that lasted almost two weeks and the whole time, Castiel seemed out of it. After finally burning the bones of an angry spirit's ghost, they entered the motel to find Dean sitting on the bed, waiting for them.<p>

Castiel's blood boiled. Dean's eyes looked sorrowful, but he gave him a soft smile.

"Hey, Castiel," he said softly.

"Hey? I prayed to you every night for the past two weeks and I get hey?!" The table next to him flipped, knocking the lamp off the bedside table.

"Woah, woah, Cas, calm down," Sam begged from a safe distance behind him. "Look, I'll give you two some time to talk. Don't destroy the room, ok?"

Sam opened the door and threw Dean a look that said 'good luck' before walking out. The air around them was tense.

"Castiel-"

"Shut up...you knew what that book said and you still left me with it...then you didn't even answer me when I called...what the fuck, Dean!?"

"Let me explain," he stood, his face suddenly becoming serious and defensive. Castiel felt the pull again and let out a deep breath.

"Explain then," he stepped forward. "What were we? Friends? War buddies?"

Dean's eyes fell closed and he stared down at the little book Castiel had pulled from his jacket.

"Lovers..."

Castiel's stomach twisted harshly. He dropped the book on the ground and punched Dean square in the jaw, sending him across the room over the opposite bed.

Dean stumbled to his feet, spitting blood out of his mouth. "Castiel...I'm sorry-"

"Sorry!? For forgetting to mention that I was fucking gay for you!?"

"It wasn't something I could tell you. Me giving you that book is grounds for being cast out. You weren't supposed to know, but...it didn't feel right to me not having you know everything about yourself. "

Castiel shook with rage. He started to feel a little dizzy all of a sudden, but he shook it off and chalked it up to adrenaline.

"I was supposed to come and fill you in on what the higher order wanted you to know."

"So God didn't want me to know I was gay?"

"No. God isn't giving the orders any more. That's why I have been in Heaven. Something is terribly wrong up there and I've discovered that the last order received from God was to raise you. Since then, it's been chaos."

Castiel didn't feel bad for him. Couldn't at the moment. The dizzying feeling intensified and Castiel stumbled a little.

"Castiel," Dean stepped forward, but Castiel stumbled back, fending him off. He fell back against the wall by the door.

"Castiel...just rest," Dean put a hand to his forehead and the world went black.

* * *

><p>Castiel woke up on the bed, Dean sitting at the couch on the opposite end of the room with Sam on the bed.<p>

"When is he going to wake up?" Sam asked, sounding concerned.

"He went through a lot...his mind overloaded. I knew I shouldn't have, but-"

"It's ok, Dean. He's just upset right now. Cas can kind of be..."

"Short-tempered," Dean finished Sam's sentence, a small smile working at his lips. Castiel didn't move, cracking his eyes open a little more to see what else would be said.

"You knew him pretty well, then?"

Dean nodded. "More than anyone but our Father. I was lost after he fell."

Sam adjusted in his cross-legged position on the bed. "Why did he fall, Dean?"

Castiel watched Dean's body tense beneath the green army jacket he wore. "Because he was foolish."

Castiel furrowed his brow, waiting for more of an explanation than foolishness. He got it.

"Let's just say that as an angel, Castiel was always different. He didn't want to be in Heaven. He wanted to discover everything there was to discover and he wanted me to be with him when he did it. I was...skeptical. Our place was in Heaven and that's just the way it was. Castiel saw humans very differently than other angels did. They weren't flawed to him. They were perfectly imperfect and that's what he wanted to be. The last time I saw Castiel...before the centries took him away... he said 'I know where I'm going...I'm going home'. I hated him so much for saying something so blasphemous but at the same time, he never really called Heaven home. It wasn't where he belonged..."

Castiel opened his eyes completely and stared at Dean. Seeing the angel visibly upset...it hurt him. Angel Castiel was his lover. He had lost his true love like a human would if their loved one had died. Castiel didn't know how to feel about being an angel's lover- let alone a male angel (or was Dean a female...did angels have genders?)- but he knew how it felt to lose someone he loved.

"Why does God want him back, then, if he disobeyed?" Sam asked the million dollar question. In all the times Dean came to Castiel, Castiel never actually got a good answer. 'God's will' or something like that was all he got.

"There's a war coming," Dean said darkly. "A war to end all wars...Castiel was the most skilled captain of our garrison. Never lost, not once. God needs Castiel to save humanity."

Castiel sat up slowly, causing Dean and Sam to look over.

"Cas, you ok?" Sam turned around and started toward him.

"Any more secrets, Dean?" he asked numbly. "First, I'm an angel, then I'm your boyfriend, and now I have to save the world? What more could there possibly be?"

Dean stood up and walked over, sitting down at a safe distance from Castiel on his bed. "I threw too much at you tonight. I was going to wait until you had time to process."

Castiel studied Dean's face. He looked...tired. Battle-worn. His face was still flawless, however. Clean-shaven and full of sorrow and concern.

Castiel sighed and drew his knees up and propping his elbows up to rest his head in his hands. "This is too much."

Dean moved toward him very slowly then placed a hand on Castiel's arm, making him jump.

"I just want to try something," Dean said gently. He waited for Castiel to relax a little before he took the man's arm down from where it rested up on his knees and gripped his forearm, their wrists touching. Castiel felt a jolt in his body. It felt like his insides were in a warm bath. Relaxation fell over Castiel and it seemed to be doing the same to Dean. Dean gently let go, causing Castiel to do the same.

"Better?" Dean asked, his voice sounding less strained than before.

"Yeah...wait, was that angel sex, cuz Sam is right there," he asked, not breaking contact with Dean's eyes. He physically couldn't. The pull in his gut was stronger than ever.

Dean let out a soft laugh. "Um, no...I'll wait until you are less...overloaded to talk about that. You are ok, though?"

Castiel nodded. Stop staring at his eyes, goddamnit, he scolded himself. What did Dean do to him?

Dean stood up. "I have to get back. Since you fell, I've been in command of the garrison. They need me right now."

Castiel nodded and finally looked away from Dean's eyes. For some reason, it kind of hurt.

"I'll be in touch," Dean said to both of them. Castiel looked up at him before he disappeared into thin air, seeing a soft smile on the angel's face.

* * *

><p>Castiel lay on his back in a bright green field, warm sun and the smell of flowers and fresh rain clouds filling the air.<p>

'Castiel,' he heard his name called. It was a beautiful voice, deep and booming. Next thing he knew he heard the same voice call his name again, this time frantic and his body was being yanked back away from the voice.

_A hand rested on his cheek._

_A large tower was pulled to the ground._

_'No words', a voice boomed. He realized it was his own._

Castiel sat straight up in the bed, sweat pouring down his face. The room was dark around him and he finally deduced that he had been dreaming.

"Memories," he heard Dean's voice next to him at the table by the window. He was sitting with his elbows propped up on his knees, looking tired.

"I told you it was creepy to watch people sleep," Castiel grumbled a little.

"I was concerned. I had to make sure you were ok after this evening."

Castiel nodded and rubbed his bare neck and shoulder. "Yeah, whatever you did with our arms worked wonders... you gonna fill me in on that?"

"Not yet...you aren't ready. I have already done too much. I shouldn't have even taken this mission, I realize that now."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "I get why you did."

Dean tilted his head a little. "Why did I?"

Castiel leaned back against the headboard. "My mom and dad were murdered by demons. I loved them more than anything in the world. John Winchester was killed by a demon. He saved my life. If I had the opportunity to go and save them to bring them back, I would do it in a heartbeat."

Dean nodded. "I suppose you're right."

They sat in silence for a moment before Castiel started to feel tired again.

"I'm gonna go back to sleep...are you gonna stay or..."

"Um, no...it's creepy, remember?" he chuckled nervously and gathered his jackets.

"Dean...stay," Castiel spoke before he thought. Dean opened his mouth to protest but Castiel pulled the cover back on the empty side of the bed. "Just stay on your side, ok?"

"Angels don't sleep," Dean said to him as he kicked off his shoes slowly.

"At least you'll be more comfortable then, creeper," Castiel joked and turned onto his back as Dean lay on his, still in his jeans, t-shirt and jeans.

"That's not your real body, is it?" Castiel asked after a moment. Dean had assumed he had begun falling asleep.

"No."

Castiel looked over at him, brow furrowed. "You're possessing a guy?"

"Angels aren't like demons. We have to have consent to possess a human. I came to this man-a mechanic from Lawrence, Kansas. He's a good man- no children or wife so I didn't take him from anyone."

Castiel let out a laugh. "That guy doesn't look like a mechanic."

"In his day to day, he dressed more like you," Dean smirked and looked over at him. Castiel's jaw dropped a little.

"Did the angel just make a joke?"

Dean laughed and smiled with his eyes for the first time since Castiel had seen him. His heart did a weird jump at the sight. Dean looked over at him.

"Is something wrong? Was that joke inappropriate?"

Castiel laughed and shook his head. "No. That's just the first time I've seen you really smile...I don't know why but I like it."

Dean swallowed hard and nodded. "I like yours as well. You don't smile much around me."

"But you, the creeper, have seen me smile when I didn't know you are watching?" Castiel said good-heartedly.

Dean looked guilty. "Yes."

Castiel nodded. "Like I said...I get it."

* * *

><p>Sam was no idiot. He had heard Castiel make the statement the night before that when he was an angel, he was Dean's 'boyfriend'. Then he heard them talking in what they thought were quiet voices the night before.<p>

Sam can now understand the overload Castiel faced. Finding out that you're a celestial being probably didn't go well with lover and world avenger tucked underneath it. Talking to Dean when Castiel was asleep made Sam realize that there was someone else out there for Castiel, who literally had no one but Sam. Castiel had a whole lifetime before Sam was even born that he didn't know about.

It made him wonder what would happen to Castiel once he finally remembered who he was.

Sam sat with his laptop open on the bed, researching the tulpa they had been hunting in town. Dean had left an hour ago and Castiel was still asleep. He said goodbye to Sam with a smile. Sam liked Dean. He made him think about Jess. If he was in Dean's situation, he would do the same thing.

A loud thud made him jump and he looked up to see Dean lying on the floor, struggling to get up.

"Dean!?" He hopped up off the bed and Castiel woke abruptly.

Dean was covered in blood. His forehead was bleeding profusely.

"Dean, what happened?" Sam knelt down and Castiel joined him, both trying to help the angel off the floor.

"They know," he grunted, holding his side. A dim light shined through the cut in his stomach.

"What-"

"Castiel," he reached for his arm and Castiel gripped it quickly, joining their wrists again. The warm feeling spread through him again, but this time, he felt a sharp pain in his stomach.

The slice in Dean's gut receded, the light disappearing behind mended skin. Dean let him go and slumped to the floor, out cold.

Castiel leaned back against the bed, holding his stomach and staring at Dean.

"What do you think he meant?"

"He wasn't supposed to tell me...about us," Castiel sat up straighter and sighed as the pain in his stomach slowly disappeared. "I guess whoever is calling the shots up there found out and they're pissed."

"I thought God wanted you back."

"He did...but God isn't in control anymore. Something's wrong up there, Sam, and we're in it."

* * *

><p>Dean finally woke up a while later. Sam went out to interview witness for the case while Castiel stayed behind. He could have gone and Dean would have been fine, but he couldn't. This was his fault.<p>

"Hey, Dean. You ok?" he asked as the angel slowly sat up.

"Yes...thank you."

Castiel nodded. "That time it hurt."

"I was weakened in the fight. I just needed a little extra help."

"What happened, Dean? How did they find out?"

Dean held up a finger indicating for him to wait, then took out a long blade, almost the size of a short sword, and sliced into his hand. He cringed, but dipped his finger into the cut and walked over to the window on shaky legs. He drew a large sigil on the window in his blood then slowly sat on the edge of the bed. He still looked a little weak.

"Another angel has been put on the job of watching me. He reported to the higher powers and they tried to kill me. I just barely got away."

"What's that?" Castiel nodded toward the bloody window.

"A warding sigil. It'll keep us hidden from the angels," he rubbed his temple and rested his head on his hand.

"Do you need my arm again?" Castiel asked, hoping it wouldn't hurt so bad this time.

Dean shook his head. "It'll weaken you. I don't want you to be compromised in case they somehow find you."

Castiel couldn't fight a small smile. "You really care about me, don't you?"

Dean looked tiredly up at Castiel. "No words."

Castiel furrowed his brow at him. "What does that mean, anyway? I remembered it the other night in my sleep. It was in the front of my journal, too."

Dean shook his head. "I told you, you aren't ready for-"

"Come on, Dean...no more secrets. They've already got us on the radar and you've already told me I'm some kind of holy secret weapon slash gay angel. What more could there be that would surprise me?"

Dean looked at Castiel for a long moment, then sighed. "Castiel...this is something I don't want to have to tell you...I want you to remember it for yourself. It's...precious. And if you never do...then I suppose it wasn't meant to be."

Castiel finally nodded. He was pretty curious by this point, but Dean was passionate about keeping this secret. "You still look exhausted. Could you sleep if you tried?"

"I'm not sure," Dean answered weakly. Castiel kicked off his boots and sat down on the bed.

"Let me try something. Lay down," he instructed the angel, who lay back down in the spot he had just gotten up from. Castiel shook his head.

"On your stomach. Take your jacket off, too." he prodded Dean in the arm. Dean looked at him, confused, before doing what Castiel asked him to do. Castiel sat beside him and gripped his shoulders, rubbing them deeply. Dean let out a soft, contented sound.

"What are you doing?"

Castiel dug a little deeper with his thumbs. "It's called a massage. Humans can't just heal their pain, so they get massages to make their muscles stop hurting. Is this ok?"

Dean mumbled an affirmative, making Castiel laugh a little. He worked Dean's shoulders then moved down his shoulder blades to his middle back. Dean was slowly relaxing beneath his touch and seemed to be dozing off to sleep. Castiel had decided he would stop mid-back, but watching Dean relax distracted him and he worked his thumbs into the dip of his lower back. Dean squirmed a little beneath him and sighed. Castiel swallowed hard.

A moment flashed in his mind of a hand on his own back, gripping tightly and the same contented sound Dean had made before echoed in his ear. He shook his head and fought off the feeling of warmth in his stomach. He pulled his hands away from Dean's back and got off the bed, taking a deep breath and frowning at the slight erection pressing against his zipper. Did they really have sex? He didn't know what was real and what was fantasy in his dreams anymore. There were flashes of things when he would close his eyes or have a free moment for his mind to roam off that would seem so real to him as if he were reliving a moment in time. It was much like the memories of his mother and father. That was why he assumed they were memories- because they were moments he knew he had lived.

Castiel turned around and walked back over to the bed, taking up residence in the empty spot next to Dean. "Man, I wish you could just tell me everything. It's weird...since I heard your name I've had this weird pulling feeling... like I'm being pulled to you. At first I didn't want to remember, but...God, I can't believe I'm saying this...but now I want to remember for you. I don't wanna go back to Heaven, but I want to be what I was to you. I don't know if I can just yet...but maybe someday."

Dean lay still on the bed and Castiel let his eyes fall closed, facing Dean as he fell asleep. Dean wasn't asleep. He could feel an ache in his chest at Castiel's words.

* * *

><p><strong>aww<strong>


	5. Destiel FTW

**Getting readers, but you guys are quiet. Geez, I'm a fun person to talk to... A review will make me smile like Cas when he gets to wear his coat...**

**now see, if you read on, you will know what I mean :)**

**So yes, the trench coat makes an appearance...as does the Impala... yay.**

**Also, a fair warning...there is male-on-male heavyweight nookie in this chapter. For those with sensitive eyes or for those who are raging homophobes, you may as well go on back home. This story is about to pick up with the Destiel :).**

* * *

><p>Hiding an angel was hard.<p>

Sam and Castiel had decided it would be best for Dean to not return to Heaven with the world's largest target on his back. Dean protested as much as he could, but the two friends insisted. They were interesting company. Dean didn't have what one would call 'friends'. The only true friend he had ever known was Castiel and now he had him and Sam. Heaven hated him now and would surely be looking for the three, but Castiel seemed to have the 'give 'em hell' attitude, as Sam called it, to make sure nothing would come of their search.

Castiel, still true to his belief that watching someone sleep was creepy, always got Dean a room next to theirs when they went on a hunt. Dean proved to be quite useful when it came to hunting. Smiting seemed to pretty much trump everything except ghosts and ancient relics.

More memories began to fill Castiel's dreams- mostly little things like battles and little conversations like those written in his journal. Then, the memories started to actually stick.

"Dean, do you remember Laylah?"

Dean looked up quickly. "Laylah?"

"Yeah, the light-keeper...she told us once that she helped control the lifespan of the stars. Then she wormholed that galaxy."

Dean stared, slack-jawed, as did Sam.

"Oh, shit, I just remembered that...Like, really remembered." Castiel was a little shocked.

"Anything else?" Sam asked, "besides angels blowing up stars?"

Castiel fixed his brain, but shook his head. "No, that's it...I thought it was funny, though."

"You did," Dean nodded and smiled. "You asked her if you could see the stars from Earth."

"And she looked at me like I was an idiot," Castiel smiled and nodded. "I was still young."

"What is young for an angel?" Sam mused.

"We are still considered young," Dean shrugged and polished the knife Sam had showed him how to handle. "I am 5,389."

Sam stared at him like he had two heads. "Oh yeah...young..."

"Castiel is 5,678," Dean pointed out, making Castiel look up.

"5,675," he corrected. "Fuck, how do I know that!?"

"What's going to happen when he remembers everything, Dean?" Sam asked.

Dean glanced between them. "Well, according to orders, he is supposed to return to Heaven and seek revelation. From there, whatever God orders, he must do."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "So, I'm supposed to run off to Heaven and become a puppet? What if I say no?"

Dean seemed to be a little put off. His eyes said he had fought this battle with Castiel before, however. "Castiel, this is what is supposed to happen. Saying no is not an option."

"You said yourself God's MIA. How can he give orders when he's not there?"

Dean was starting to become angry now, Sam could tell. "It was his will. He will give his orders and you will follow."

Castiel slowly stood up. "No."

Dean stood as well and Sam backed away, knowing something usually started flying when they were angry and there were knives on the table.

"You are still an angel, Castiel. You were created for this."

"I've been a human for almost thirty years, Dean. I don't have to do shit. If I was so important, why did God throw me out in the first place!? You always say it doesn't matter or I cared too much or I was foolish, but why did he really do it!?"

"He didn't, that's why!"

Castiel looked confused, as did Sam.

"He didn't cast you out...He casted me out...you fought for me...said horrible things, blasphemous things to get them to send you away just so they would take you instead of me.' You belong in Heaven,' you said to me...'and I belong on Earth'. You knew I would have remembered one day and would have killed myself for letting myself fall...so you left me so I wouldn't have to..."

Dean still looked angry but Castiel was at a loss. He did that for someone. He damned himself to mortality so his lover wouldn't have to face a world he didn't want.

"I'm gonna go stay in Dean's room...you guys need to talk," Sam said seriously.

Once the door closed, Dean and Castiel shared several moments of silence before Dean finally broke it.

"I disobeyed an order. A direct-from-God order that almost cost the lives of 20,000 angels and most of the planet Earth. If it hadn't been caught, we wouldn't be here today. When you found out, you went straight to the higher order, claiming you had given me a false order and to spare my sentence...you were so powerful they refused until you began to blaspheme...then they had no choice. God spared me in your place because he knew I cared for you."

Castiel sat down on the edge of the bed and stared down at the floor.

"I have said, Castiel, you were a good angel. A good leader and soldier...but you were foolish. Your heart was always a problem with everyone...everyone but me," Dean swallowed hard and a single tear fell from his eye. Angels didn't cry, Castiel remembered. Not without great suffering. Castiel looked up at Dean and stood slowly.

"What are you doing?" Dean looked at him curiously. Castiel walked over and cautiously wiped the tear from Dean's cheek with his thumb. His hand didn't move from where it rested on Dean's cheek.

"I'm so sorry," Castiel said just loud enough for Dean to hear before his own tears began to fall. A wave of emotion swept over him and he pulled Dean toward him, capturing his lips with a gentle pressure.

It was unexpected, even to Castiel, but the warmth he felt when they joined wrists pulsed through him from where their lips joined. Dean sighed against his skin and placed a hand on Castiel's bicep, holding him tightly as if he didn't want him to go. Castiel brought his other hand up to cup Dean's face and run his fingers through his short brown hair. It was strange feeling hair so short when he was kissing someone, but the feeling he got from it made that feeling secondary.

Finally, after several moments, Castiel pulled back a little, looking into Dean's bright green eyes. Castiel's cheeks were wet with tears and Dean couldn't help but return the favor by brushing them off with his thumbs.

"You remembered?" Dean asked, his voice shaky and gruff.

Castiel shook his head. "I just...I could never imagine doing that for someone...but I did it for you. You must have meant so much to me."

"No words," Dean whispered and another tear fell from his eyes. Castiel wanted to ask again the meaning of this repeated phrase, but he didn't. He had asked enough and Dean wanted him to remember for himself. Instead, he took Dean's hand and pulled him over to the bed, laying them both down, and kissed him again. It was like breathing, the way they kissed. Dean placed a hand at the small of Castiel's back and the memory from the massage returned. It was Dean's hand he had felt on his back. They had done this before.

Castiel rolled over on top of Dean, pinning him with his body and bracing himself with his elbow. Dean was still wearing clothes and Castiel wanted to feel him. He sat up quickly, pulling Dean along with him and he worked the t-shirt off Dean's torso.

Dean didn't seem hesitant like Castiel thought he would. After they got the t-shirt off, Dean began tugging at the hem of Castiel's t-shirt, making him smile.

"You've done this before, I assume?" Castiel pulled his shirt off and gasped as Dean's large, calloused hands ran up his torso.

"Yes...with you."

Castiel's heart leapt a little bit. "Well, then, I guess I have nothing to worry about." Castiel reached down and began to unbutton Dean's jeans while Dean ran his hands slowly up Castiel's muscled back.

"You're distracting me," Castiel joked.

"I've never distracted you before. You humans have short attention spans," Dean jabbed back. Castiel leaned down and nipped at Dean's lip and the angel groaned for the first time. It was a beautiful, deep sound that he felt in Dean's chest.

"What does your real body look like?" Castiel asked as he gently explored the body with his fingertips, dipping into grooves formed by muscle on bone.

"Roughly the size of the Chrysler building," Dean shivered under him. "Pale...slightly muscular...Castiel, please..."

"You have a short attention span," Castiel winked and leaned down, their chests meeting in warmth and skin. Both sighed into each other's mouths and Castiel instinctively rolled his hips. Dean groaned and gripped Castiel's hip, keeping him there.

"Shit, that's hot," Castiel growled and flipped them, letting Dean rest on his lap and taking in the way his muscles moved beneath his skin. The angel looked- dare he say it- sinful with his jeans unbuttoned, a light trail of hair leading down to the zipper.

"I have another question," Castiel bit back a groan as Dean shifted on his lap.

"You are full of questions," Dean leaned forward, bracing himself on his arms above Castiel.

"Do angels have gender? Like...does your real body have a dick?"

Dean quirked an eyebrow. "Dick?"

"Penis..." Castiel clarified, feeling the word on his tongue and hating the way it sounded in his current situation.

Dean let out a small laugh. "Yes, we have gender and yes, I have a penis," he leaned his body forward a little to kiss Castiel, creating an incredible friction that completely made Castiel forget about the awkwardness of the word penis.

After too much of simply making out, Castiel's hands moved from Dean's back to the swell of his ass, gripping it gently. Dean moaned and reached down to unbutton Castiel's jeans.

"Just a second," Castiel sat up slowly, Dean still in his lap. "I'm loving every second of this...I just want you to know that since I've been human...I've only ever been with women. I'm not really sure how to do this with a guy."

Dean nodded. "I know. If you'd like, you could take me."

Castiel's cock throbbed at the way that sounded coming out of the angel's mouth. "That sounds fair."

Dean gave him a smile that made Castiel forget that Dean was an angel. One that was full of some long-hidden emotion that was just utterly human. Dean leaned down and kissed him again, softly and calmly as he unbuttoned Castiel's jeans and worked the zipper down. Castiel lay back on the bed and closed his eyes, feeling a little nervous about Dean seeing him naked. He had a great body, but the thought of a man seeing him so intimately was enough to make him nervous.

"Relax, Castiel...you are beautiful."

Castiel felt his jeans and boxers being pulled down his legs and heat flared up in his cheeks. It was all forgotten when he felt wet warmth around him.

"Fuck," he groaned and reached down instinctively, gripping Dean's short hair as Dean took his cock into his throat. Never had Castiel received a blowjob that was so purposeful as this one. As if Dean were trying to suck the memories right from the depths of his mind.

Dean ran his hand up Castiel's hip and over his chest, catching a nipple on his calloused thumb. Castiel tried to keep his hips still, but when Dean gripped the back of his ass with his free hand and squeezed, he couldn't help himself. Dean didn't seem to notice. He continued to work his mouth over Castiel's cock like an expert.

"Dean, I won't make it if you keep doing that," he grinded out, fighting back to make himself last. Dean let out a soft laugh against him then let go. His lips were red and swollen, emerald eyes slightly watery and dancing a little as if he had finally gotten everything he had ever wanted. Castiel couldn't deny that it made him happy. It must have been the connection they have had since Dean pulled him out of Hell that made him this way...or maybe it was just Dean.

Castiel pulled Dean toward him and lay him back on the bed, his wet cock meeting Dean's clothed hip and causing a small shock wave to crawl up his spine.

"I want you," Castiel mumbled against Dean's lips. Dean nodded and reached down to pull down his own jeans with one hand. Castiel laughed and sat back, helping the angel pull his jeans down. The damn son of a bitch, Castiel thought. No underwear.

"You want to kill me, don't you?" Castiel growled and looked down at the beauty of a man beneath him. Never in his life had he ever thought about another man being beautiful, but Dean was a work of art. Not a scratch or mar on the dark, tan skin covering his body. Castiel chanced a look at Dean's cock, which was long and thick resting on his lower stomach. A hot twitch in his groin told him that he could come to like the look of it.

Dean sat up slowly, pulling Castiel's thoughts away from Dean's privates to look into his eyes. Something was coming back to him. A storm, full of lightning and wind roaring around him. Hot heat in his gut. The feeling of plunging deep into a warmth he couldn't imagine.

Castiel shook his head and blinked a little.

"Are you ok?" Dean asked, looking concerned.

Castiel just stared at him. "Were we...ever in a storm? You know...having sex?'

Dean's eyes grew wide. "What do you remember about it?"

Castiel shook his head. "Not much...just the storm and...an orgasm, I think? It felt really good, I know that."

Dean swallowed hard and smiled softly. "The first time we were ever...intimate...we caused a storm. We were here on Earth, hidden from the world. You took me to a beautiful forest in Tibet..."

Castiel thought harder, trying to remember more- cold rain, stars- it wasn't much, but he smiled.

"I think I told you that you were the most important thing in the world to me..." Castiel said softly.

"That stars could not hold a light like the one in my eyes," Dean nodded. Castiel looked back up at him and smiled.

"Still true," he smiled. His body felt like a furnace, warmed to the point of perspiration at the feeling in his heart. He never knew a feeling like it. Dean gripped the back of his neck and kissed him hard, pulling him down onto the mattress to lie on top of him. The feeling of their skin meeting made them both begin to pant with anticipation. Dean reached down and took two of Castiel's fingers into his mouth, lazily sucking on them to get them wet. Castiel didn't have words. He simply watched Dean with what he was sure was a dumb look on his face.

Dean let them go and Castiel reached down below his balls to gently stroke at Dean's entrance. Dean's breath hitched, eyes going glassy at the thought of what was about to happen.

"I hope this is ok," Castiel rested his forehead against Dean's. Dean nodded and Castiel took that as a sign to shut up and go.

Castiel had never fingered anyone's ass before, but he figured it couldn't be much different that a woman. He slid a finger in ever so gently, melting at the way Dean's eyes rolled back and closed, his lips parting in a silent sigh. He moved slowly at first, not sure if Dean would feel pain or not- because it had to be painful- but the angel began to push back against him. Castiel finally slid in the second finger and began kissing Dean's neck, finally comfortable enough with his movements to multi-task.

"Castiel," Dean moaned softly and gripped Castiel's back.

"Mmm?" Castiel didn't trust himself with words at the moment.

"I'm ready, please," he begged. Castiel gave a final nip to the tender spot beneath Dean's ear before he removed his fingers and steadied his mind. Having never done this before, he had no lube. How do you tell an angel you have no lube for his ass?

"Um, Dean?"

"Come here," Dean smiled, as if he had read Castiel's mind, and Castiel lay back, letting Dean return to lapping at his cock. After a moment, Dean finally sat up, straddling Castiel's lap and taking the man's cock in his hand.

"Don't let me hurt you," Castiel squeezed Dean's thigh.

"You won't," Dean said almost as if he knew for sure. Dean lined himself up and sat slowly down onto Castiel's lap.

The heat was intense, as was the squeezing pressure. Castiel had to bite his lip to keep from surely waking Sam in the room next door. Dean finally settled into Castiel's lap and leaned forward, bracing himself on his arms.

"Castiel?"

"I'm ok...dizzy, but ok," Castiel chuckled breathlessly. "You feel amazing."

"So do you," Dean kissed Castiel's forehead before kissing down his nose to his lips. Castiel gripped Dean's slightly sweaty hip and thrust upward, feeling the rumble in Dean's kiss as he groaned deeply. Castiel gripped Dean tightly around the back and began to thrust in a slightly desperate rhythm. He never wanted this feeling to end- feeling the heat around him and the dampness of Dean's skin against his. It was an addiction he knew he would not get over.

Dean started speaking...in Enochian. Castiel knew what he was saying and it was incredible. What was odd was that Castiel started to speak back in Enochian as well. Another piece of memory from the storm in Tibet came back- Castiel holding Dean close just the way he was now, speaking beautiful words to his beautiful angel. He echoed his own words.

"No words," he spoke just against Dean's ear just before he felt his orgasm hit him like a bus. He gripped Dean's back, nails surely biting into his skin as he pulsed. He felt Dean tense and a wetness covered his stomach as Dean repeated the phrase back like an affirmation. They both stilled, Castiel not letting Dean go for the life of him. A wave of feelings crashed hard over him and he felt tears roll down the side of his face. He didn't want Dean to see. In his mind, the memory played out- the perfect face of Diniel in his hands, smiling like the sun and cast even brighter as the dark storm around them crashed and whistled.

memory

'What was that, Castiel?'

'I said, no words.'

'I know,' Diniel smiled. 'What does that mean?'

end of memory

The memory seemed to fade out from his mind, making him a little angry. He wanted to know what it meant so badly and why he had said it in the heat of such an intimate moment.

"Castiel..." Dean was cupping his face in his hand, eyes shining. He had heard Castiel say these words that had meant so much to him.

Castiel blinked away his tears. "I'm ok..."

Dean pressed his lips together then nodded. "Ok."

Dean lay down next to Castiel, the mess they had made gone in the lapse of time that Castiel was remembering.

"I said it," Castiel blurted out as Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder.

"You did," Dean said, sounding a little hopeful.

Castiel wrapped an arm tightly around Dean's back. "You asked me what it meant...when I said it for the first time in that forest."

"I did," Dean repeated, sounding a little less hopeful.

Castiel slid his eyes closed, begging it to come back to him, but nothing did. He could only remember this time now. It was a good memory.

"I'm trying, Dean. I promise I'm trying to remember."

Dean reached up and rested his hand over Castiel's on his stomach. "I know."

They simply lay there for a moment. Then Castiel said, "Dean...I don't want to go back to Heaven. I want to be here. This is-"

"Where you belong," Dean finished his sentence. "You haven't changed."

"Does that upset you? That I want to stay?"

He felt Dean sigh. "No. The truth is...I don't want to go back either. I thought I wanted to go home, but being here...being with you and Sam and seeing humans for what they really are...Heaven just seems so flawed in comparison. There's so much control there, but here...is this what disobedience feels like?"

Castiel squeezed Dean's hand. "You want to make your own choices. That just sounds like living to me."

Dean nodded. "Then I want to live."

A flash of light caused Castiel to look up at the window. The trees outside were bending in the wind as lightning flashed in the distance.

"Dean...was it supposed to storm tonight?"

He could hear the smile in Dean's voice. "No."

Castiel didn't know he had fallen asleep until he woke up with the sun peaking through the blinds. It was still rather early in the morning and his body ached a little bit, refusing to let him get up. The other factor in this battle was the warm body resting against him, resting its head on his shoulder and wrapping its leg around his. Dean lay next to him all night, awake with his thoughts.

"Dean?" Castiel said groggily. Dean picked up his head and smiled at him.

"Good morning. I was going to get up, but-"

"I would have punched you if you had," Castiel joked and pulled him closer. They lay there for a moment in warmth before there was a knock at the door.

"Dean, Cas, you in there?"

Sam's voice sounded a little frantic. He remembered that he hadn't come back to his room the night before. Sam must have been freaked when he noticed he was gone.

"Um, yeah...hold on!" he called back. "We should get dressed."

Dean looked a little disappointed but they got up and threw their clothes on quickly. Castiel opened the door while Dean went over and sat at the table, trying to look innocent. It made Castiel laugh a little knowing what Dean and he had done the night before.

"What have you two been up to all night?" Sam burst through the door. "Bobby called. Cas, Lillith is back."

Castiel's blood stilled. Lillith. That demon bitch.

"What is she up to?"

"The end," Dean spoke up, having stood up at the sound of the demon's name. "This is what God needed you for, Castiel. Lillith is going to start the Apocalypse.

Sam and Castiel's eyes grew. "The Biblical Apocalypse?" Sam asked.

"Plague and locusts and raining blood?" Cas reiterated. Dean nodded.

"How?" Sam asked.

"That is what we were working on when the angels discovered what I had been doing. By now they already know. I wish I could tell you."

Castiel sat down at the table and ran his hand through his hair. "Ok. So, Lillith is going to jump start Judgement Day. All we have to do is kill her before she can."

"Kill Lillith?" Dean asked with a rather amused grin. "Castiel, she's Lucifer's first...she's one of the most powerful demons there is."

"More powerful than an angel?" Castiel asked, looking at him pointedly.

"Yes," Dean nodded. Castiel sighed and leaned back in his chair. A thought occurred to him.

"What about two angels?"

Dean furrowed his brow. "You mean..."

"You were supposed to 'reassimilate' me or whatever...so, you could train me up and we can kill the bitch."

Dean didn't seem to like the idea. "Maybe, but-"

"Dean, I'll be fine. I know most of what happened to me, my memories are coming back. I have powers. If I can learn to control them-"

"I just don't know about killing Lillith."

"Why not?" Sam asked. "She killed Cas and she's the key to the Apocalypse. We could end this."

Dean shook his head and sighed. "Just...a feeling, I suppose. Castiel, you do need training, but let's just keep the idea quiet for a while. Maybe we will learn more and maybe we can do something about it. Without God's true orders, we don't really have anything to go on."

Castiel and Sam exchanged looks and Sam finally nodded. "Ok. So...what were you guys doing all night?"

Castiel and Dean glanced at each other, a slight blush creeping up Castiel's neck.

"Discussing Castiel's memories. They were becoming more vivid," Dean chanced a sneaky smirk at Castiel, who sneaked a wink at him.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "O...k, well we better get going. Found a job over in South Dakota not far from Bobby's. Demonic omens."

Castiel and Dean nodded and Sam went to leave, but stopped.

"Hey, did you guys notice that freak storm last night? Totally came out of nowhere. News said it wasn't even being tracked..."

"Yeah, weird," Castiel said quickly before stepping past Sam and heading toward the truck with this bag. Dean just looked at Sam with a smile and shrugged.

They got to Bobby's and, for the first time since the old barn in Nevada, Bobby saw Dean.

"I apologize for putting you to sleep...you were going to hit me with a crowbar," Dean said politely and shook Bobby's hand. They filled Bobby in on all that had come to light with Castiel's memories and set to work on trying to track down what was going on in Rock Rapids, South Dakota.

"From what I figure," Bobby said, taking out his police reports and map, "there's some kind of gathering around this area. They're ganging up for something."

"You said there were witnesses?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, two teenage girls were having a sleepover and one of them said their dad came in the room, eyes black, and started trying to attack them. The dad don't remember it. Says he was asleep when it happened. There's about six other cases just like it around town. Best lead is a little girl named Claire. Her dad came in and started wailing on her. Got her pretty good. She don't remember much, but she said the demon said a name. Lillith. Said she was chosen and to be ready."

The other three exchanged looks. "Well," Cas said, "guess we get to do some undercover work on this one."

They got their suits out of their truck and went to change. Sam came out first in his simple suit and sat on the couch with Dean.

"Cas loves this part of the job. Only time he gets to wear his coat."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Coat?"

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You'll see."

Castiel finally came down, face shaved clean and dressed in a black suit with a blue tie and a brown trench coat. Dean's lips parted and a dazed look came over his face.

"Cas, you know no detective wears a brown trench coat anymore," Sam rolled his eyes like he did every time. He hated the thing.

Castiel rolled his shoulders back. "Fuck you, this thing is amazing. I feel like Sherlock Holmes."

Bobby grumbled. "Ok, ok, come on and get your badge, Hotshot."

Castiel paused a moment and noticed Dean watching him. He smirked and threw a wink at him before going over to Bobby. Castiel hadn't stopped thinking about Dean the whole ride to Bobby's. Lillith was a big deal, but the thought of Dean's eyes rolling back in his head while Castiel fingered him had been at the forefront, leading to some almost embarrassing situations when they had to get out for gas.

"And you aren't taking that clunker out there to interview witnesses," Bobby's voice broke through. "I got a little something you can take that I've been working on for you."

They all followed Bobby out to his shop, where a tarp was covering what looked like a car. When he pulled off the tarp, Sam and Castiel gasped.

"Bobby...no way," Sam smiled. "You rebuilt it?"

The week before John was killed by Azazel, the yellow-eyed demon, Sam, Cas and John had wrecked John's car when it was blind-sided by a demon wearing a trucker. The car was a 1967 Chevy Impala that both Sam and Castiel cherished beyond measure. They hadn't seen it in years and wondered where it had ended up. They assumed an impound lot got hold of it, but staring at it now, shining like the day it was built, they were stunned.

"It'll do better than that piece of shit truck you drive, Cas," Bobby tossed the keys to him. The keys even still looked the same.

"Bobby...thanks," Castiel smiled.

"Don't you dare hug me," Bobby grinned. "Now get. We gotta figure out where that demon is."


	6. Lillith

**Time to meet Lillith! hope you guys are still with me on this!**

* * *

><p>The Impala drove like a dream. Castiel let out a contented sigh as he drove down the highway, Sam in the passenger's seat and Dean in the back, staring out the window like a child. Castiel knew the guy had been to Earth before- hell, he had had sex in a Tibetan forest- but Dean's eyes seemed to be trying to take in each tree, leaf, and hill they could land on. Castiel couldn't help but smile. The angel was turning him into a softy.<p>

"Cas!" Sam made him jump a little. He had been talking to him about something. Damn Dean and his adorable curiosity.

"What?"

"I've been trying to get you to turn for a whole minute. You have to turn around," Sam gave him a confused look. "What were you looking at?"

"Thought I had a zit," Castiel said quickly before making an illegal U-turn in the middle of the two-lane highway. They reached the hospital and Castiel stopped Dean.

"Ok, so we're about to walk into this hospital and tell them we are detectives from the police department and we want to talk to Steven Dubard."

"Why?"

"Because when humans want something really, really bad, they lie. Now, we don't mention demons, angels, ghosts, unicorns or the Apocalypse, ok? What we want you to do is go Mr. Invisible and scope the place. Look for signs of anything unusual- sulfur, scratches on the walls-"

"Indications of demonic presence," Dean nodded as he finished his sentence again for the millionth time.

Castiel smiled and looked down. "Don't do that."

"Sorry," Dean mumbled, looking over at Sam.

"Now, if things get hairy, you get out. Go back to Bobby's and we'll be there as soon as we can."

"Dean-"

Castiel held up a finger and made a shushing movement. "No arguments. Sam and I will be fine. We've dealt with demons before. Ok?"

Dean hesitated, then nodded with a defeated look. Castiel glanced over to make sure Sam wasn't looking then pecked Dean on the cheek.

"It'll be fine. Now disappear."

With a final soft smile, Dean did just that. Castiel caught up to Sam and they walked in, pulling their badges from their pockets. They approached the switchboard and the little receptionist looked up.

"Minor and Page from Sioux Falls PD," they presented their badges in a practiced manner.

"What can I do for you?" the young woman asked with a smile, leaning forward in an obvious attempt to show them her boobs. Castiel couldn't believe the sight made him cringe.

"We're here to speak to a patient by the name of Steven Dubard. He came in last night."

Her eyes lingered a bit too long, but she finally typed on her keyboard then furrowed her brow.

"He was transferred to Briar Ridge Mental Institution this morning. Sorry."

"What about a Claire Dubard. She's his daughter," Sam asked. She sighed and went back to typing.

"She's on the fourth floor, room 486," she returned to leaning over her desk. Her eyes met Castiel's and she batted her eyelashes. "Anything else I can do for you, officers?"

"No," Castiel answered, feeling Sam look at him, surprised, "thank you though. Have a nice day."

They turned and walked toward the elevator. Sam let out a laugh.

"Cas, what's happened to you? I normally would have had to work this case by myself because you would be in the bathroom with her."

Castiel shrugged his shoulder. "Just not feeling it, I guess."

Sam placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder, stopping him. "Cas...is it Dean?"

Castiel sighed, shrugged Sam's shoulder off and kept walking.

"If it is, I'm totally cool with it! I didn't know you were gay, but-"

"I'm not, Sam... I don't know...All I know is that I can't stop thinking about him. I want to take care of him. I want to be everything he wants and needs me to be..."

Sam chanced a small smirk. "You're in love, dude."

"Not in love," groaned Castiel as he pressed the elevator button and stepped in, "I just care."

The elevator door closed in front of them. "So what did you two really do last night?"

"Dude, what are you, twelve?" Castiel fought the blush running up his cheeks but Sam took notice, letting out a laugh.

"I knew it! And that storm! That was you two-"

"Ok, ok, yes, I banged Dean. We're working a case, Sam," he heaved a sigh of relief as the elevator door opened and they could step out.

"Just know I'm happy for you, ok? You've never had anyone really but me, Dad and Bobby. Dean really seems to love you and has for thousands of years- literally."

Castiel rolled his eyes, but he knew Sam was right. He was also glad that he didn't have to sneak around the subject anymore.

They reached the nurse's station and an older nurse stepped from a patient's room in front of it.

"Oh, can I help you?" she asked ever so politely.

"Yes, Minor and Page from the Sioux Falls PD. We are here to talk to Claire Dubard about her attack last night. We'll be quick, I promise."

The woman gave them a smile and nodded. "Right this way, sirs. She's been very good about all this. She's still very frightened, but-"

"Castiel," he jumped about a foot off the ground as Dean appeared behind him. The old nurse clutched her chest.

"What the hell are you-?"

"The girl's window," Dean said urgently. Castiel and Sam ran past the nurse, Dean in tow, and threw open the door to room 486.

The room was destroyed. It looked like a slaughter house with blood splattered against the white surfaces of the walls and linens.

"Oh my Heavens!" the nurse cried from behind them and ran over to the desk to call security. The three men stepped into the room and Castiel inspected the window. There, on the ledge, was a pile of a yellow, dusty substance that smelled like rotten eggs.

"Do you think they took her?" he asked, wiping the sulfur off on his pants.

"Or they painted the walls with her," Sam said sadly. They looked around and tried to find any clues as to where the demon may have gone, but there was nothing. They did, however, find out who decorated the walls. A small piece of hand was discovered beneath the bed that had a wedding ring on the ring finger.

"Must be the lovely Mrs. Dubard," Castiel cringed and tossed the hand back on the floor. "Come on, let's get back and put out and APB on Claire Dubard. She can't have gotten far, she's only seven."

They rode back in confusion and apprehension. They now had a missing child on their hands.

"Did you see any signs of her, Dean?" Castiel asked, resting his elbow on the window and propping his head on it.

"None. There were scrape marks down the side of the building where something seemed to slide itself down, but that was all."

Castiel let out a sigh and felt a hand on his shoulder. He glanced in the mirror and saw it was Dean's and felt himself relax a little. It wasn't the first time a child was involved in one of their cases, but something didn't sit right with him about this one. Something big was about to happen with that child and he knew it.

They walked in to Bobby's to find the place empty.

"Must have gone to town," Castiel shrugged and took off his trench coat and suit jacket.

"His car is outside," Sam peaked out the window and looked over at Castiel. They had worked together long enough to know that that wasn't a good sign.

Both men pulled out their guns and carefully scoped the bottom floor of the house.

"Bobby?" Castiel called for the hundreth time to no avail.

"Cassy!?"

A tiny voice piped up from behind him, causing him to jump and whip his gun into position to shoot. A beautiful little girl with bright blue eyes, blond ringlets, and a pair of white hospital patient scrubs stood barefoot in Bobby's den. She was splattered with bright red blood.

"Oh, Cassy, it's been so long!" she ran over and threw her arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly in a hug. His stomach churned.

"...Claire Dubard?"

She looked up and grinned. "No, silly," her eyes rolled back in her head, revealing pure white. "It's me...Lillith."

Castiel moved to shake the small girl off him but she gripped him tight.

"I missed you so much when those mean old angels took you away. Remember when we used to play hide and seek? You would hide, I would find you, I would beat you with a mace...it was so much fun! Please come back with me, Cassy. We could get rid of all those mean old angels and these stupid people and we could play hide and seek forever-"

A flash of bright light struck the little girl in the back, making her cry out a little, but she didn't fall. Her eyes went from playful to deadly in a matter of a second and she turned.

Dean had his hand raised, his eyes a little wide at the ill effect of his blast. Sam stood behind him, ready to strike.

"Diniel...I remember you," she turned around and faced him. "You were one of the mean angels who took Cassy away from me."

Dean screamed and hit his knees, clutching his stomach. Blood began pouring from his mouth. Castiel made to move, but found he was being forced to the spot. Sam was thrown backward across the room.

Lillith then walked over to Sam. "And you're Sam! Azazel told me all about you! You're the last of his children."

Castiel looked over at Sam in shock. What the hell did that mean?

Sam didn't look too surprised. "Azazel is dead."

"Oh, I know. You and Cassy killed him. Bet that didn't make the thirst go away, though, did it, Sammy? You secretly hoped it would," she placed a tiny had on his cheek. "Poor Sammy. He wants that demon blood so bad he can't stand it. Don't worry, though. The end has already started without you. That was Cassy's fault."

She turned back to him while Dean choked on his own blood. "See, Cassy was in Hell for 40 years. It only felt like four months because humans are stupid and slow...he was carved and beaten and torn apart by the torture master for so long he just couldn't stand it anymore," she snapped her fingers and Castiel hit his knees hard, causing him to grit his teeth.

"Cassy became the torturer...he carved up mommies and daddies...even little kids," she stood right in front of him, glaring down at him. "You started this, Castiel...you broke the first seal and made the end come."

Castiel felt like he would vomit.

"You're lying," he growled. She slapped him hard across the face.

"Silly Cassy, you know I wouldn't lie," she smiled and walked over to Dean.

"The angels were trying to stop you. They came to rescue you because you were going to end the world, but you just couldn't wait...and you little angels weren't fast enough," she knelt down to Dean. "Oh, the things I could say about you, Diniel...like why you call yourself Dean. I bet Sammy would love to know about that..."

Dean growled and his eyes began to glow. He looked absolutely rabid with the blood dripping from his mouth. Lillith backed away, smirking.

"Go ahead, try and charge up...I'm not afraid of you."

Dean's body seemed to buzz and glow, the lights in the room beginning to explode, the walls shaking on the foundation. Castiel watched in awe as Dean's wings stretched across the room and he looked up at Lillith.

"Go."

His voice shook the room, causing a change in Lillith's immovable expression. She looked...scared.

"I'm not afraid of you," she repeated, sounding less sure than before.

"GO!" The ceiling began to break apart. Cracks formed in the floor beneath them. Lillith looked back at Castiel.

"This is just the beginning, Castiel...I hope you are ready."

She disappeared and Dean's light went out, causing him to collapse to the floor.

"Dean!" Castiel, finally able to move, scrambled over to him. Sam ran over and knelt down.

"Help me," Castiel and Sam lifted Dean up and carried him over to the couch. Castiel cupped Dean's face and studied him a little.

"He's still alive...I think," he brushed a small section of hair back next to Dean's ear.

They sat in silence, trying to take in all that had happened since they walked into the door. Castiel felt a hole forming in his stomach that was burning more each time he thought about what Lillith had said.

'You started this, Castiel...'

"I was going to tell you..." Sam finally piped up. The mention of the demon blood was brought back to Castiel's attention. He felt anger seeping into the hole.

"That you were a blood-sucking demon spawn?" Castiel looked up at him. Sam rolled his eyes.

"It was something Azazel said...right before we killed him. 'It'll never stop'. When I was a baby, Azazel came to me and bled in my mouth...then my mom came in and he killed her...my brother, Dean, too."

Something jolted in Castiel's mind. "Dean...you're brother's name was Dean?"

"I never told you?" Sam furrowed his brow.

Castiel shook his head, feeling a little dizzy. Too much at once. "Back to the demon blood..."

"I've never...I've never actually drank it. Every time we kill a demon I have to stop myself. It's like a bad itch you can't scratch. Azazel said it would make me unstoppable..."

Dean stirred a little, bringing Castiel's attention to him. "Dean? You ok?"

Dean's eyes blinked open slowly. "Lillith..."

"Gone. You freaked her out pretty good. You gotta teach me that," Castiel gave a nervous smile and helped Dean sit up.

"I'm gonna go see if I can find a trace of Bobby," Sam hopped up, obviously ready to be away from the demon blood conversation. Castiel sat on the couch next to Dean, who was still a little weak. Castiel gripped Dean's forearm and touched their wrists.

"Castiel," he seemed to try and protest.

"Shut up and get better," he argued. Dean gripped him back and the feeling of fatigue swept over Castiel for a moment, but when Dean let him go, it was gone.

"Thank you," Dean gave a weak smile. "Did she hurt you?"

"No worse than any other demon," he shrugged and stared down at his hands. Dean placed a hand over his.

"What she said-"

"Is it true?" Castiel looked up at him, eyes slightly damp. "Did I really start all this?"

Dean sighed and, finally, nodded. "Yes...but you didn't know."

Castiel stood up and ran his hands through his hair. "I couldn't handle it, Dean...I tried so hard to fight Alistair, but it just got to be too much-"

"Castiel," Dean stood and grabbed the man's shoulders. "You didn't know."

"But why me!? How did I break this...seal or whatever!?"

"In Revelation, it states that a righteous man will shed blood in Hell and that would be the first seal. There are hundreds, but only 66 need to be broken...if they are broken, Lucifer's cage will open and he will walk the Earth."

Castiel looked shocked. "So...I opened the first door to popping Lucifer's box..."

Dean gave him another determined look and repeated, "You. didn't. know. All we can do now is do whatever we can to stop it. This is what God called you for, Castiel."

"Or did he send you to pull me out before I jumpstarted the Apocalypse?"

Dean looked a little guilty. "He was...sure that you would, actually, but he wanted you here and ready when it began. You can stop it, Castiel. I know you can."

Dean was looking at him with such reverence that it made Castiel's eyes water again. "Why do you have so much faith in me?"

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist and rested his head on Castiel's. "You led me once and never failed me. You can do it again."

Castiel sighed and let a tear fall down his face. "It's too big..."

"You can," Dean whispered again. A thump and voices down below them startled them.

"Sam found Bobby," Castiel wiped his eyes. "God, Sam...demon blood...what the fuck?"

"There will be time to talk about things...it's not now," Dean rubbed Castiel's bicep.

"Like what Lillith said about you? Why you call yourself Dean?"

Dean's body tensed a little. "Yes...I will explain."

Sam and Bobby came up the stairs and Dean stepped back from Castiel to reduce suspicion on Bobby's part.

"He has a panic room," Sam sounded dumbfounded.

"That little skank came in and I barely had time to lock the door," Bobby was dabbing at a gash across his face he must have gotten before entering the panic room. "Heard you went supernova, Dean."

"Little bitch ran like a scared puppy," Castiel scoffed. "Bobby... we gotta talk. Some things have kind of come out now and we may have some leads on this Apocalypse thing."

They muddled through the crazy bits of information Lillith had spat out during her time there. Bobby's reaction to Sam's secret was pretty much the same. "You better not go guzzlin' demon blood, boy, or I'll stick a boot so far up your ass you'll be thinking about my footsteps," he threatened, to which Sam didn't say a word. Castiel's burning gut flared up when he had to tell Bobby about how Hell broke him and he started the Apocalypse.

Bobby sighed. "Well...we stepped in it, so we gotta clean it up. Let's just start with Revelation and work our way forward from there. I have King James, Hebrew and Arabic...pick your poison," he dropped a pile of books on the table.

"I'm gonna step out for a sec," Castiel said in a slight daze. "I'll be right back."

Without a look at any of them, he stepped out of the back door and walked around the corner to the shop. There, he hit his knees and buried he head in his hands. The overwhelming feeling in him finally broke free and for the first time since childhood, Castiel broke into a sob.

"Why...why me?" he started to talk to God. He hadn't since he was a child and had given up hope that there even was one. "I know why you casted me out...but there are so many other angels out there...so many who are better than me...I failed at being an angel and I'm a shitty human...why me?"

He mumbled for almost an hour, fisting his hair and letting the tears fall freely. No one saw him and no one would know.

Finally, he pulled himself together enough to stand up and when he did, Dean was standing there.

"You were gone a while," Dean stood with his hands in his jeans pockets. The longer he was on Earth, Castiel noticed, the more human things he picked up on. In the beginning, Dean would never have stood so leisurely.

Castiel sniffed. "Yeah, just had to clear my head."

Dean gave him a concerned look. "I wish you didn't have to deal with all of this, Castiel. I wish I could take it away."

Castiel rubbed the back of his neck and leaned against the car in the shop. "Yeah...you and me both."

Dean seemed to be thinking about something. He was looking at Castiel, slowly up and down. Castiel cocked an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I...know something that may help you feel a little better...if that's ok?" Dean slowly approached him, looking a little apprehensive. Castiel thought it was kind of cute.

"What is that, may I ask?"

Dean stepped in front of him, then knelt down, face- to -face with the zipper of Castiel's jeans.

"...Oh," Castiel's eyes grew.

"Would this not please you?"

Castiel's inner struggle seemed to take a back seat. "No, no, I'd be pretty pleased...if you want to, I mean."

Dean gave him a smile then started unbuttoning Castiel's jeans. Castiel closed his eyes and leaned his head back, feeling Dean's warm, rough hands sliding his jeans down his bare thighs, then back up to slide down his underwear.

Castiel wasn't hard to begin with, what with the feelings of immense guilt and all, but Dean started to suck on the soft spot right where his groin joined his thigh and it was immediate. Castiel reached down and gripped Dean's head, feeling teeth scraping at his skin.

"Fuck, Dean," Castiel sighed and scratched lazily at the back of Dean's head. Dean let out a soft sound then moved lower, bringing his fingers up to lightly stroke Castiel's balls. Castiel shivered from his head to his toes. Dean's touch was electric. The world seemed to fall away around him and no Apocalypse or demons or anything could touch them.

"Dean," he urged him with his hand on the back of his head. Dean's slight scruff was scratching against his cock and was driving him insane. "Dean, please."

Dean glanced up at him and smiled. "Patience is a virtue."

"I have no virtue," Castiel growled and involuntarily thrusted his hips forward. Dean finally took Castiel into his hand and ran his tongue up the shaft then sunk down onto him. Being outside in the middle of nowhere had its advantages. Castiel gripped the hood of the car and groaned as Dean began to pick up his pace a little and do something with his tongue under his head that made his toes tingle.

Something occurred to Castiel in that moment- this would end...messily if his years of experience were anything to go on- and...

"D-dean, I'm-"

Dean looked up at him and nodded, increasing his pressure and speed with insistence. Castiel gripped Dean's shoulder, moving his hand from his head in case the angel didn't want to take one for the team. As he came, he felt Dean swallowing around him.

"Holy shit," Castiel mumbled, half from the fact that Dean had swallowed and half from the intensity of the orgasm Dean had just sucked out of him. Dean let go and rubbed Castiel's hip.

"So...did that help?" his voice was a little hoarse. It should be, Castiel thought, he just DT'd my cock.

Castiel nodded dazedly. "Yeah...that was very good." Dean stood up and Castiel tried to pull his jeans up, but was still a little wobbly. Dean helped him and Castiel pulled Dean close to him.

"You're still...you know," Castiel nodded down.

"I'm ok," Dean shrugged. Castiel leaned in and kissed Dean's lips, tasting himself on the angel's lips. The weak organ between his legs tried to respond.

"I'll fix it later," Castiel said against his mouth and pecked him one more time. "I guess I need to get back in there...start reading the Bible."

"I have told Bobby and Sam what I know, which is mostly everything, but I couldn't tell you how to stop it."

"We've got that part. You did good, angel," Castiel rubbed Dean's lower back. Dean quirked an eyebrow.

"Why did you just call me angel?"

Castiel laughed when he realized it. "Oh...it's a nickname among humans. Angel, baby, darling, honey...stuff like that. It just sort of slipped out."

"Is it kind of like when Sam calls you Cas?"

Castiel shrugged. "It's just a shortened version of my name. You could call me Cas, too if you wanted."

Dean thought then nodded. "I'll call you Cas, then. I kind of like it."

"I'll find a good one for you. In the mean time, we should go," Castiel reluctantly let go of Dean and they walked back toward Bobby's, Castiel feeling more relaxed.

* * *

><p><strong>We're about to find out much more about Dean :)<strong>


	7. The L Word

**Gotten into the Season 5 storyline in my latest writings. This is still back in season four. So long story short, here's what's gonna happen in the next few chapters.**

**-Jo, Ellen and Rufus- Jo and Ellen may/may not die hunting Lucifer.**

**-Demon blood- Sam DOES get addicted**

**-John Winchester- still not father of the year, sorry**

**-Castiel pretty much becomes full angel- no wings, sorry**

**-Zachariah- they don't meet the same way as in the show. Many episodes I'm not using here.**

**-Lisa and Ben- well...you will see :/ poor lisa and ben...**

**Anywhoozles, here we go. May the Lord of Light shine upon you for the night is dark and full of terrors...and clowns...remember that.**

* * *

><p>They didn't get very far that night. They gave up around four a.m. and decided to catch a nap before hitting it again the next day. Bobby went upstairs while Dean showed Sam and Castiel demon warding.<p>

"Man, why can't you guys slice yourselves open for this?"

"It only works with human blood," Dean drew another type of sigil on a piece of paper.

"But Sam has demon blood, remember?" Castiel stood with a beer, legs crossed in front of him. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Dude, I told you, I never drank. It's just...in there."

"It's true, Cas, he's never actually activated it," Dean said, not looking up from his book. The first time Sam had heard Dean call him Cas he made a 'aww' face at Castiel that earned him a bottle cap to the forehead.

"It's still weird," Castiel shook his head.

"Hey, it's not like I asked for it. Yellow-Eyes killed my mom and brother the night he did it. Not really something I'm happy about."

Castiel glanced over at Dean again and saw that he had stopped drawing. He seemed to be lost in thought.

"Dean?"

Dean finally looked up and met Sam's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Sam."

Sam furrowed his brow, confused. "Sorry for what?"

"I knew Azazel was coming for you."

A bombshell had dropped. Sam put down his knife. "You what?"

"My job was once to warn mothers of danger coming to their infants...some things could not be stopped but whatever orders I was given, I was to take..."

Sam leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, looking a little huffed up. "And what order did you get about Azazel?"

"...None," Dean hung his head a little. "God didn't want us to stop Azazel from feeding you demon blood. After Castiel fell, I was lost...I wandered Heaven trying to find my place and discovered my place was exactly what I was created for. I started back on my rounds and when I heard whispers of a demon and Sam Winchester, I knew it would be bad in the long run. I went to Mary Winchester and told her not to disturb Azazel... that it would be the last thing she ever did... Sam-"

"No...finish," Sam stepped forward. "What did you do?"

Dean shook his head. "I stood outside and watched."

Castiel's eyes slid closed. This was about to be loud.

"You WATCHED!? Watched while my family burned!? While that demon bled on me!?"

"I had to, Sam! It was supposed to happen. I didn't like it, but I did it. I wish I could take it back, but I can't...there's something else...what Lillith said about my name..."

Sam, at the moment, didn't seem to care less. He shook his head and turned away, hands raking through his long hair.

"The reason I call myself Dean is because my vessel is named Dean..."

Sam turned around, looking confused. "Vessel?"

Dean indicated his body. "This mechanic from Lawrence, Kansas."

"That's where I was born," Sam said thoughtfully.

"Dean didn't die in the fire, Sam...I rescued him."

* * *

><p>Sam stared, unbelieving, at Dean. "They found his body..."<p>

"Bones of a large calf I found...I wanted them to think he was dead. I had never lost a child, Sam, and I wouldn't lose an innocent bystander either."

Sam plopped down in the chair in front of Cas, who was staring in disbelief at Dean.

"I took your brother to a kind family in Lawrence...told them I would watch after them as Dean grew up."

"We never went back to Lawrence, so I never saw him..." Sam said deadly.

Castiel shifted in his seat. "So...Dean, Sam's brother...he's the mechanic you're wearing?"

Dean looked up and slowly nodded.

Sam looked brokenly up at Dean. "You're my brother?"

Dean sighed. "He's in here...he remembered me and what I had done for him...I told him I was in need of a vessel to save an angel from Hell...that I would be bringing the angel back to you...he didn't hesitate to say yes."

Sam covered his mouth with his hand and tears welled in his eyes. "My brother is alive."

"He sees you every day," Dean nodded. "I can hear him sometimes."

Castiel didn't know what to say. All their lives had been about justice for Mary...for Dean...and now they discover Dean has been with them all along.

Sam sniffed and straightened up a little. "Can I...can I talk to him? The real him?"

Dean looked a little apprehensive. "I can't do it often...maybe just this once..."

"I just want to see him. Please, Dean," Sam begged. Dean glanced over at Castiel to gauge his reaction.

"What do you think?"

Castiel shook his head. "I'm just trying to get my head around the fact that I slept with Sam's brother."

Sam couldn't help but let out a wet chuckle. "I won't kill you for it, you didn't know."

"Can I still sleep with your brother?" Castiel asked cautiously. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Just don't tell me about it," he cringed. Dean smiled in relief. He had been holding on to that for so long. He knew he had to tell Sam eventually, but had hoped it would be much later. Sam turned back to him.

"Please, Dean...just for a few minutes."

Dean thought, then nodded. He slid his eyes closed and a bright light flashed behind his lids. When they opened again, it was obvious that Diniel had given up the reins to the man whose body he was occupying.

Dean shook his head and blinked a couple of times. He looked up immediately at Sam.

"Sammy?"

His voice even sounded different. Diniel's voice was steady and deep. Dean's voice shook slightly, sounding a little thinner as he stared at his little brother.

"Dean," Sam replied. "You're..."

"Yeah. God, it's good to see you. Diniel found an old picture that made it through the fire and brought it to me...you look way different," he laughed nervously. Sam stood up and walked over. Dean stood and gave his brother a long overdue hug. Sam couldn't fight the tears anymore.

"It's ok, Sammy. I'm ok," he assured him, a smile still on his face. "Diniel took care of me and told me all he could about you. When he said he was saving Castiel from Hell and would need a vessel when he came back, I didn't look back. I knew I would get to see you."

Sam stepped back and held Dean at arm's length. "You look a lot like Dad, you know?"

Dean laughed. "I don't remember much about Dad...just the picture and a few little things. What was he like?"

Sam thought for a moment, deciding not to tell him that the man was a stubborn ass and that they really didn't get along. "He was tough, but he loved us...he started hunting demons after Mom died...talked about you guys every day."

Dean nodded then looked over at Castiel. "You're Castiel?"

Castiel had been taking it all in, not expecting to be a part of the brotherly reunion. "Oh, yeah."

Dean smiled. "He's got it bad for you."

Castiel let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah...sorry about that."

Dean gave him a look like he was crazy. "Sorry? Dude, don't ever be sorry for getting some."

Castiel decided that he liked real Dean. Dean faced Sam.

"I gotta let hot wings back at the wheel. I'll be checking in from time to time. I mostly don't know anything is happening. Last thing I actually remember is a big storm." Castiel blanched at that and covered his head with his hands.

"Do I wanna know?" Dean furrowed his brow.

"No," Sam laughed and gave his brother one final hug before the angel took him back.

"Stay safe, Sammy. Love you, little brother."

"Love you, too," he said back. Dean's eyes flashed a bright blue and the obvious sign of Diniel's straight posture returned.

Sam just smiled and squeezed Dean's shoulder. "Thanks."

Dean nodded. "He is happy as well." Castiel went and got another beer, downing half of it before getting to the table.

"That was weird," he stated and, as the sun came up, he tried to forget that he owed Sam's brother an orgasm.

* * *

><p>He didn't forget...and didn't really feel that weird about lying on top of Dean after Sam went to bed.<p>

Dean held him close, arms wrapped lazily around his neck as Castiel dipped his tongue past parted lips to wrestle playfully with Dean's own.

"I would have thought hearing that I was wearing Sam's brother would slow you down a little," Dean chuckled quietly in Castiel's ear.

"I don't know...you're still in there," Castiel propped up on his elbows, resting his hands on each side of Dean's face. "You're still you and I like you."

Dean gave him a small smile. "I like you as well, Cas."

Castiel smirked. "I bet you don't like me as much as I like you."

Dean furrowed his brow inquisitively. "You think not?"

Castiel shrugged and shifted his weight on top of Dean, causing a slight rub of friction on Dean's lap. Dean was obviously trying to engage in the conversation, but Castiel's body against him, moving, made him lose track.

"You seem to like me very much."

Castiel wiggled his brow. "More than you know."

Dean's face fell very slightly. "I do."

Castiel let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry, Dean...this is new to me. I know this is something you have felt for a long time..."

"I understand, Cas...I'm trying to just let you remember everything else, but it's hard. I just wish I could hear you say...well, it's not important-"

"What, Dean?" Castiel sat up a little, moving off Dean to rest at his side.

Dean shook his head, looking away. "Don't worry about it, Castiel. You aren't the same angel you were before. You may not...feel the same."

Castiel could see Dean was struggling. He knew what he felt for Dean. He liked Dean a lot. More than he had ever liked anyone ever and he couldn't explain why. He knew it had something to do with the life he knew before but to be pulled back to Dean so quickly...what they had was obviously stronger than he knew.

"Well...tell me how you feel, Dean," Castiel said tentatively. He was a little anxious to hear what he had to say.

Dean let out a soft, watery laugh. "You may be put off by it..."

"Try me," Castiel rested his head on his hand. Dean turned his head on his pillow and looked into Castiel's eyes.

"Fine...but you asked for it...Before we met...in Heaven...I was very shy. I wandered aimlessly through existence just being what I was created to be. Then...there you were," he looked down at Castiel's hand that rested on his stomach. "I had never felt anything before. Emotion was just something I had heard of but never experienced until you started training me. You were strong and brave...something I had never thought I would be but you made me strong and brave, too."

Castiel's heart was racing as Dean spoke. The way he talked about him sounded so reverent and...loving.

"We spent a lot of time together- less and less in training and more and more in different realms of Heaven simply enjoying each other's company. Then we were alone once...I said that I had strange feelings for you that I couldn't explain and you just smiled and you kissed me..."

Dean seemed to stop and stabilize himself. A small smile came across his face. "Humans have an expression- seeing fireworks. I saw galaxies erupt. I felt as if I had been reborn. From that day on, I was not shy Diniel. I was yours. You told me humans call what we had... love."

There was the word. It frightened Castiel beyond belief but he had asked Dean to tell him how he felt for him.

"Angels don't understand the concept of love in the sense that we felt it...so we never told each other we loved each other," Dean squeezed Castiel's hand. "We found other ways..."

"What was it?" Castiel asked, voice shaking a little. Dean shook his head.

"Not telling you...remember, I told you it was precious...I want you to remember."

Castiel sighed and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I remember. So...you loved me?"

Dean swallowed hard and looked up into Castiel's eyes. "I still love you."

Castiel's heart skipped a beat. It was burning in Dean's eyes how much he loved Castiel. Castiel had never loved anyone in his life but his parents, John, Bobby and Sam...those were different types of love. Castiel sat up for a moment and swung his feet off the bed, planting them on the floor and trying to still his racing thoughts. Dean sat up, but didn't touch him, letting him be with his thoughts.

"I don't..." Castiel started, but lost what he was going to say. So many things were going through his mind.

"I understand, Castiel," Dean said, sounding a little sad. "I know you don't feel the same anymore. I have lived for many years without you and just knowing you are safe...that you feel anything at all for me...that's enough."

Castiel blinked away a gentle wave of tears. "I'm sorry, Dean-"

"You keep apologizing," he felt Dean's hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't."

"No, I should," Castiel turned around and a single tear fell down his cheek. "If I were in your position, I couldn't imagine living each day with someone I loved knowing they didn't feel the same. I just...I don't know how to feel. This is all too much to take in..."

Dean placed a gentle hand on Castiel's cheek and kissed him silent. Castiel's tense body relaxed against the touch and he sighed. Dean released him and gave him a smile.

"I would wait forever, Castiel. If you never remember, I'll always be here for you because I made a promise to you long ago that nothing could ever make me turn from you. Not even unrequited love. The minute you tell me to go, I'll go...but until then I am here to help you carry any burden."

Castiel sniffed and felt an immense warmth that made him look down at his wrist. They weren't connected there...so why the warmth?

The early morning sun was starting to cast a dull light through the window, lighting Dean's face just so and like a bus Castiel was hit with a realization.

Dean was beautiful. The soft glow of the sun on the side of his face lit his green eyes like small emeralds. Castiel didn't realize he was reaching up until his fingertips came into contact with Dean's clean-shaved jaw and gently ran down towards his lips and chin. Castiel traced Dean's lips with his fingertips, like he was caressing silk. Dean seemed a little curious about what he was doing, the question in his eyes, but his voice seemingly not able to find its way to the lips Castiel was leaving to trace down his Adam's apple to the collar bone that peaked beneath the collar of his shirt. Dean's breath was hitching slightly more with each new site of skin touched.

"Dean," Castiel said softly. Dean's eyes met his and he looked positively edible, chest heaving gently as Castiel's hand went from his collar bone to cup his neck and pull him in. Castiel kissed him passionately and lay him back on his vacated spot on the bed. Castiel slid his free arm under Dean and pulled him close, wanting to be as close to him as possible as heat rose between them. Castiel had always done this part well- the seduction and groping- but to touch so gently and to hold the person close to him...he didn't know what was happening but it was just on the other side of perfect.

Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel and slid a hand beneath his shirt. Castiel sat back and pulled it off, allowing Dean to sit up and do the same. It was almost physically painful to be so far away from Dean that he made quick work of unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them off before doing the same to Dean and pushing him back against the pillow.

"Should I be on top of you?" Dean asked in his awkward way, but Castiel let out a soft, breathy laugh.

"No, angel...I want to do it like this," he held himself over Dean and ran his hand down his bare side to his hip and gently squeezed. "Is that ok?"

"Anything," Dean smiled and kissed him again. Castiel rubbed gently over Dean's thigh and down to where his entrance was. Dean hissed a little and squirmed.

"Hold on," Castiel hopped up off the bed and went over to his bag, digging through it and finally standing up and bringing a small bottle to him.

"I figured this would be less sexy than you sucking on my fingers, but more comfortable," Castiel popped open the cap and squirted a little on his fingers before returning to Dean's ass and slipping a finger inside. Dean gasped and thrusted his hips down, searching for more.

Castiel leaned down and kissed Dean's neck then worked his way over his tight chest and stomach. The closer he got to Dean's cock, the more he felt nervous, but he knew he could do it. He never had before, but he thought that maybe, in some distant past, he actually had. Dean's cock bumped his chin and he took a steadying breath before taking Dean into his mouth.

It was strange, sucking someone else's cock, but the sound that Dean made when he did was enough of a reward. Dean's head tilted back into the pillow and Castiel felt the bed dip slightly next to him where Dean was gripping the sheets. Castiel grabbed Dean's hand with his free one and squeezed it. He felt Dean twitching in his mouth and it was starting to become a little bit addicting, experimenting with his tongue in various places to see what kind of reaction he would get from Dean.

"Cas-" Dean breathed out, body feeling drawn tight around Castiel's fingers. He released him quickly and pulled his fingers out, unable to stand the wait. He poured lube on his hand and slicked himself, jumping a little at the contact. He braced himself over Dean and slid into his body.

The first time had been a little nerve wracking and tentative. Castiel didn't have any experience with males and was a little worried about it. This time, however, he knew just what to do- just where to thrust to hear Dean's deep rumbling groan and feel him grip his back, nails biting into his skin. Castiel was moving slowly, taking in each shift in Dean's expression and every flex of muscle. He took Dean's arm and pulled his arm down to the bed next to his head, slipping his fingers between Dean's own and holding his hand down onto the bed. There was a shift in the air and Dean rested his other hand next to him, opening it for Castiel to take it.

With both hands pinning Dean's to the bed, Castiel picked up his speed and leaned down to kiss Dean, feeling his body tingling with an immense pleasure he hadn't felt so fiercely since their first time. His heart was throbbing with affection for the angel beneath him and he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't keep the words from coming, but he actually meant them.

"I love you, Dean."

He felt Dean squeeze his hands and with little warning, Castiel felt his body release and he groaned against Dean's chest. Dean had come only a moment before him. Castiel released Dean's hands and Dean immediately pulled him close, the mess on his stomach having vanished in a matter of seconds. Castiel buried is head in Dean's neck and felt the angel trembling beneath him. He chanced a look up at him and saw he was crying. Angels, as Castiel knew, had to be in a lot of pain or sadness to actually, physically cry.

"Dean...Dean, you're crying, what happened?" Castiel immediately sat up and pulled Dean with him. Dean just shook his head and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm...happy," Dean choked against the side of his neck and Castiel ran his hand through the back of Dean's hair, smiling at the response.

"Do you mean it?" Dean asked, pulling himself together. Castiel kissed the side of Dean's face and smiled.

"I really do. I don't know how to explain it, but I would do anything for you, Dean. Things have been coming back to me that I haven't talked about and I have realized how much you really mean to me. I've lived on this earth for almost thirty years without you but now...Dean, I don't think I could dream up a day without you."

Dean sniffed and pulled Castiel down for a passionate kiss. Castiel sighed and buried his fingers in Dean's short hair. Dean rolled Castiel onto his back and broke their kiss, resting his head on his chest.

"It's so strange hearing you say 'I love you'," Dean mused, fingers tracing circles on Castiel's stomach. "It sounds so...human."

Castiel laughed softly. "Well, I've been human for a while...and that's how I feel."

"Must be nice...to be so sure of yourself, I mean," Dean smiled. Castiel placed a finger beneath Dean's chin and pulled his face up to look at him.

"You can feel if you want, Dean. No one is stopping you."

"I've never felt anything besides affection for you...but since I found you again everything is so confusing. Even before, I didn't feel the degree of emotion I've experienced...like I'm disconnected from Heaven."

Castiel shrugged and wrapped an arm around Dean's shoulder. "Maybe that's not such a bad thing."

"What, disobey? Be cast down and live with you forever?"

Castiel's heart skipped a beat. "You could."

Dean looked up at Castiel. "Forever is a long time."

Castiel smiled and sat up, bringing Dean with him. He laced his fingers with Dean's. "I can do forever."


	8. Diniel, Interrupted

**guys...we're getting closer to season 10...**

**Deanmon...dying Cas...Sam going to great lengths to find his brother.**

**the drama, yo! teh drama!**

**so can't wait to see what canon has in store for us.**

**and for all the haters dissing the Cas/Hannah story...come on, guys. If Dean isn't gonna get sweet Cas 'D' then superbadass Hannah should. I'm a little intrigued to see what they do with it. Unpopular opinion stated, let's move onward with my little fantasy here. Some not so nice things are about to happen to Cas and Dean...couldn't be rainbows and puppies forever, right?**

* * *

><p>Castiel woke to the smell of something burning. He was a little sad when he noticed Dean wasn't with him. He threw on a pair of pants and bounded down the stairs into Bobby's kitchen to see smoke.<p>

"Bobby?" Castiel called out, then he heard a mumbled curse and a smile crossed his face. He walked into the kitchen to see Dean standing at the sink, running cold water into a skillet full of bacon.

"Having trouble?" Castiel chuckled, leaning against the door frame.

Dean looked disappointed. "I was...going to make you breakfast. I have seen people do this many times, but it's harder than it looks."

Castiel walked over and took the skillet from Dean's hand and set it in the sink. "You don't have to make me breakfast, angel," he wrapped his arms around Dean's sagging shoulders and kissed him softly. Dean sighed.

"I wanted to, though."

"Where's Bobby and Sam?"

"Bobby went to town about ten minutes ago...I don't know where Sam went."

Castiel smirked and pressed Dean back against the sink. "He's not here, though, right?"

"The car is gone," Dean's voice quivered a little. Castiel reached down and started unbuttoning Dean's jeans.

"Well, how about I give you something for the kind thought," he knelt down and slid Dean's jeans down, pulling his semi erection from his underwear. It didn't take much to have Dean groaning and gripping the sink.

After, Castiel made them bacon and eggs and they sat at the table, hands clasped on Castiel's thigh. Bobby returned, carrying a sack of groceries.

"Smells like something burned in here," he crinkled his nose.

"Dean's not a good cook, we've found," Castiel smirked at Dean, who gave him a sorrowful look. They quickly let go of each other's hands, but Bobby noticed.

"So, what's with you two? You're practically conjoined twins lately...thin walls speak volumes, kid," Bobby looked to Castiel, a knowing look on his face. Castiel blushed.

"Sorry, Bobby-"

"Whatever it is...hold on to it," Bobby walked over and started putting groceries away. "We have a short time on this old Earth. No use in letting something good go to shit."

Castiel knew Bobby wasn't much of a sentimentalist. To hear him say that was as good as his blessing.

"Thanks, Bobby," he said softly. Dean reached back under the table and squeezed Castiel's hand. A reassuring gesture.

"So where's your brother? I wanna hear some more about this whole 'demon blood' thing. I don't know if I trust it."

"I've looked into Sam, Bobby," Dean assured him. "He hasn't been indulging."

"Well, I know how these boys love to throw themselves into the fire for humanity or whatever," he said, "and I just think that boy needs a talking to."

Sam came in, followed by someone that made Dean stand abruptly.

"Why did you bring that thing in here!?"

The girl with long black hair rolled her eyes. "Diniel...always a pleasure."

"Easy...she wants to help," Sam raised his hands in surrender. Castiel furrowed his brow.

"What's going on?"

"We don't need help from hellspawn," Dean growled. Anger rolled from the girl and her eyes went black as she charged Dean.

"Ruby, stop," Sam grabbed her arm, causing her to hide her eyes , but her anger was obvious.

"Sam, what the fuck were you thinking!?" Castiel stood. Sam shook his head.

"When you went to Hell, Ruby came to me...said she would keep an eye on you. She failed to mention the angels were laying siege."

"Because she ran like a frightened child," Dean's eyes never left Ruby.

"You know what, featherhead, I am about this close to dropping this and ripping your wings off myself-"

"Please...try," Dean gave her an amused smirk. Castiel knew the timing was very inappropriate, but this side of Dean was a little sexy.

"Heard that," she glanced at Castiel with a smirk. "Dirty boy."

"Look, Ruby found the Colt...you remember the Colt?"

The Colt was a Colt .45 pistol that was created by Samuel Colt in the 1800's. The gun was made to kill demons. John had found it to use on Azazel, which didn't work out so well for him, but it worked wonders when Castiel put the last bullet straight between Azazel's eyes.

"Yeah I remember," Castiel rolled his eyes. "I also remember that we unloaded the last bullet in Azazel's brain. It's useless without the bullets."

"You underestimate me, Castiel," she smirked. "I know what makes that gun tick. I can fix it up to where any bullet will work."

"What's your angle?" Bobby asked, quirking a brow.

"I want Lillith's annoying little face blown off," she shrugged. "And if your reputation means anything, you two can do it."

Castiel looked between Sam and Ruby. "So...you just happened upon a demon who could help, huh? Out of the fucking goodness of her lack of heart?"

"I'm doing this for me, asshat," she snapped. "I have a price on my head from Lillith personally. Fighting for Hell side isn't exactly on my list of things to do before I get ganked."

The four men exchanged looks, then Castiel finally spoke up. "Where is it?"

Ruby reached into the back of her jeans and pulled out the Colt, placing it on the table and sliding it toward Castiel.

"Why should we trust you?" Dean asked, hands still balled into fists as though he were ready to strike.

"Trust me, don't trust me, who gives a flying fudge. Just take the gun and kill that little bitch."

With a blink, she was gone. All eyes turned on Sam.

"A demon...a fucking DEMON?" Castiel gripped Sam by the collar and slammed him against the wall. Bobby pulled Castiel off of Sam, who didn't try to fight back.

"Castiel, she's legit. She reported to me all the time about you in Hell. I knew you had given in to Alistair and I knew about the seal."

The pantry windows shattered around them, sending glass flying. Dean walked over and placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder to calm him, but he trembled with power.

"And you trust her? What, you gonna be sucking her blood like a damn leech now? She supplying you?"

"I told her I didn't wanna go down that road, so I'm not!" Sam yelled. "Why don't you trust me with this, Cas?"

"Because DEMON, Sam! That should be enough!" The wood floor cracked beneath Castiel's feet.

"Castiel, you need to calm down," Dean said calmly in his ear. Castiel barely heard him from the ringing in his ears, but he let himself relax a little bit and the slight hum in the air around him died. Sam looked genuinely fearful.

"Cas...you know me," Sam stepped forward slowly. "You know I wouldn't do it. Please..."

Castiel looked up into Sam's sincere eyes. "I don't know what to think, Sammy...I don't trust that hell bitch, but if you tell me you won't...just don't do it, ok?"

Sam nodded and picked up the Colt, turning it over in his hands.

"So...Bobby, do you think you can figure this thing out?"

Bobby, though apprehensive, nodded. "I can give it a shot."

* * *

><p>Castiel walked outside the next day after being up all night thinking about Sam and that demon bitch. He was exhausted, but all he could think about was distraction. He lifted the hood of the Impala and started to change the oil. Then, he checked all the plugs to make sure they were working right. Then he washed the engine. He couldn't stop or he would start thinking again and that was dangerous. Dean had gone off somewhere to do some digging on where Lillith may be and which seals had been broken while he was stuck with Bobby and Sam. Every thought that wasn't about Sam was about Dean. Since he told Dean he loved him, he started to think about the future. If they survived the Apocalypse and Diniel was cast down, would they be together? Would Dean be cast off into a child as Castiel was, forced to grow up human and never see Castiel again? The questions in his mind were giving him a headache.<p>

Castiel suddenly hit his knees, a deafening ringing piercing his ears. He heard his name...it was Dean.

He couldn't really see much in his mind- there were flashes and blood and his name. It wasn't a memory...it was like he was seeing it in real time. Then, he saw a building, like it was strategically placed in his mind. It was a warehouse. Wrigley, South Dakota.

When Castiel got his barings about him, he ran inside.

"Sam! We gotta go!" Castiel blundered into the living room.

"What's up," Sam immediately stood, grabbing his coat.

"It's Dean...it's something bad," he turned and headed toward his car. He explained to Sam the situation on the way there, the demon blood and Sam's new Hell companion pushed aside for the moment.

"What was Dean doing?"

"I don't know...there was blood and flashes and then I saw this building. He was calling my name, Sam. I think he was calling for help and I heard him."

"What...like he was praying to you?"

Castiel shrugged, the thought of being prayed to giving him an uneasy feeling. They entered Wrigley and searched for the building.

"There!" Castiel whipped the car into the lot and both men hopped out to open the trunk.

"What if there are angels in there, Cas? We've never taken angels before."

"Dean is in there, Sam," Castiel slammed the trunk, pocketing his pistol and a knife. "I'll take on however many I have to blind."

Sam nodded and they hurried inside. The place was destroyed. The metalwork in the roof was in knots and there was electricity from frayed wires popping off around them.

"Holy mother," Castiel mumbled and started climbing over piles of twisted metal to search for Dean. Sam was flashing his light around the room and found something a little frightening.

"Cas, look," he pointed his light toward a back wall. There was a very large blood sigil painted on the wall.

"I've seen that...Dean used it once to keep angels out...guess it didn't work out."

"This was an angel fight?" Sam asked in awe.

Castiel looked around the destroyed room for any trace of his angel. His body was tense with panic.

"Cas, over here!" Sam called as his light fell on a single body among the wreckage. Dean lay bloody and unconscious.

"Dean," Castiel ran over and shook him. "Dean, come on, wake up."

"Heal him, Cas," Sam pointed his light straight on him and Castiel centered himself and placed a hand on Dean's chest.

Like a shock had hit him, Dean's eyes flew open and he looked around frantically.

"Wha-"

"Come on, let's go," Castiel helped him stand, but Dean hopped up and started looking around frantically again.

"Diniel...where's Diniel?"

His voice was higher...he wasn't Diniel.

"Dean?" Sam asked in surprise.

"Where is he?" Castiel asked nervously.

"I-I don't know," Dean glanced down. "He's gone."

* * *

><p>As Dean ate, Castiel watched him closely, as if expecting Diniel to just pop right back into his body. He was happy Sam's brother had survived the attack, but he missed his angel.<p>

"So, what happened, Dean?" Sam asked.

Dean shook his head, mouth full of burger. "I just remember a flash then you were there. Those winged ballsacks must have got him."

Castiel leaned back in his seat and ran his hand through his hair. "Do you remember anything else?"

Dean shook his head again. "I'm sorry, man. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I barely remember anything about being possessed."

Sam and Castiel exchanged looks. "Can I talk to you a sec?" Castiel asked. He and Sam walked into the other room and Castiel glanced back to make sure they were out of ear shot of Dean.

"What the Hell?"

"I don't know, man," Sam said, defeated. "Maybe they took him back because of what he has been doing...you know, getting too close like he said before."

"You think they, what, threw him in jail or something?" Castiel asked.

"I don't know, maybe? We gotta put him on lockdown, Cas. He's an empty vessel now. Demons will be crawling over each other to get him and question him."

"He doesn't know anything," Castiel whispered frantically. The thought of the demons with their hands on Dean made him sick.

"They would find a way to make him tick. Look, we will keep an eye on him 24/7. Maybe Diniel will drop back in and we'll know for sure."

"Or Diniel is dead and we're screwed," Castiel rubbed his face in his hands.

"Look, Cas, I know you're worried...but we have to be careful. Like I said earlier, we don't know the first thing about taking down angels."

"I am an angel, Sam," Castiel said sharply. It was probably the first time he had finally admitted to it. "And if I have to go through 100 of them I will."

Sam felt the buzz of power rolling off Castiel's body. "Ok, ok, just keep it cool. Look, you take first watch and get me up around 3. It's all gonna be ok."

Sam turned and walked up the stairs while Castiel leaned back against the wall. He didn't want to go back in there. His angel was gone and all Castiel was left with was the empty vessel Diniel occupied. It was going to be hard to watch him for the next five hours.

Finally, Castiel took a deep breath in and turned back into the kitchen. Dean was looking at photos in Bobby's den.

"Wow...Sam was an ugly kid," he chuckled, holding a picture of Sam, Bobby and Castiel. It was taken by a neighbor one afternoon while John was on a hunting trip. Castiel looked at the photo as well.

"We were staying with Bobby while John was gone. Here," Castiel knelt down and pulled a photo album from the bottom shelf, dusting it off and flipping through the pages to find a photo of John. When he did, he handed it to Dean.

Dean's eyes grew big. It was taken when Castiel was around eighteen and Sam was fourteen. John hadn't changed much except for a few grey hairs in his later years.

"Dad," Dean gave a soft smile. "You grew up with him too, right?"

Castiel nodded. "Yeah."

"What was he like? Sam said he was tough, but...what kind of Dad was he?"

Castiel glued his eyes to the photo of John. "He was a hero. My parents were killed by demons when I was ten and he saved me...took me in and raised me himself with Sam. He was pretty strict about his hunting, but he took us many times with him and it was like being in the military," Castiel chuckled, as did Dean. "When Sam decided to give up the life and go to college...shit, John was pissed. They didn't talk for almost four years. I spoke to Sam a couple of times in those years, but he just didn't want any part of it...he wanted to be a lawyer and live a normal life. I dragged him back in and I sort of wish every day that I could have just left him alone."

Dean put the photo down. "I hate I missed it."

"Don't," Castiel shook his head. "It's no life."

"But it could have been mine. It may not be perfect, but it was supposed to be mine. At first, I hated Diniel for not taking me to my own family instead of the people who raised me. I should have been there when he died," Dean sniffed a little. Castiel instinctively reached up and wiped the tear from Dean's cheek, but immediately pulled his hand back.

"Sorry...habit."

Dean cocked his brow and scoffed. "It's cool. How are you taking all this? I mean, he was your...boyfriend?"

Castiel shrugged. "I love Diniel...we've never actually said boyfriend, but I love him...I hope he's ok."

Dean nodded. "He'll come back. He always does."

At three, he woke Sam and climbed into bed, staring at the empty space next to it.

"Diniel?" he prayed quietly. "If you can hear me, I hope you're ok...come back soon ok? Don't let those assholes hurt you..."

His voice broke a little and he swallowed tears. Letting his eyes slip closed, he dreamed of John and of Diniel.

* * *

><p>The next day, he was awakened by Sam.<p>

"Dean's gone."

Castiel sat straight up. "What?"

"I went out to the car and when I came back, he was gone," Sam said, defeated. "Cas, there's sulfur on the window."

Castiel's stomach dropped. His phone rang at that moment and he quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

"I got something of yours...you want it? Come get it. Over on South and Sturdivant. Don't keep me waiting," a woman's voice spoke before abruptly hanging up. Castiel threw his phone on the bed hand hopped up to put on his boots.

"South and Sturdivant. They've got Dean."

Sam furrowed his brow. "Did they say that?"

"No, I could see it," Castiel grabbed his jacket. "Come on."

They practically flew to downtown Sioux Falls and jumped out of the car at the abandoned building on South and Sturdivant.

"You still got that knife?" Castiel asked.

"...How did you-?"

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Angel, Sam, I'm an angel, now get the freaking demon knife."

Sam had not told Castiel that Ruby had given him her demon knife, one that can kill demons. He pulled the knife from a sheath in the back of the trunk and Castiel slammed it before taking off toward the building. Upon entering, there were three demons standing there, waiting. The only one who could have called him was a beautiful woman with tan skin and long black hair.

"Hello, Castiel," she smiled. "Welcome to the party."

"Let him go," Castiel raised his gun to her.

"Don't shoot it, that's my girlfriend," Dean pleaded from his spot behind them where he was bound to a chair.

"Don't go getting all sentimental," she turned to him and rolled her eyes. "You're girlfriend is dead in here anyway," she smiled as Dean's face fell and tears welled in his eyes. "She didn't put up much of a fight. Poor little Lisa...her kid, too."

Dean growled and struggled to get out of the chair but she walked over and punched him in the face.

"Don't worry, Dean," she cooed, cupping his cheek. "You'll join her and her little bastard kid soon."

"I said let him go!" Castiel's voice shook the room. Dean and the demon Lisa looked up to see Castiel's eyes aglow, the ground slightly shaking around them.

"Ooo, testy," she held up her hands. "Well, we've got what we want- you, Sam and little Dean here all in one room. Now... for the punchline...everybody dies."

She pulled a gun from behind her back and shot Dean square in the stomach. Castiel cried out and the windows shattered, the three demons flew backward across the room and Sam suddenly walked forward. He glanced back at Castiel. There was a familiar glint in his eyes. Castiel could see his face- his true face.

"Diniel?" Castiel said nervously. Sam walked over and placed his hand on Lisa, a bright white light emitting from its eyes and it fell to the ground, eyes burned out. The other two demons quickly smoked out of their vessels and dropped the bodies to the ground. Dean was still strapped to the chair, choking on his own blood and sobbing. Sam walked over and knelt in front of Dean.

"Thank you for everything, Dean. You have served Heaven well. Rest now."

"No," Dean ground out. "I have nothing left...please, Diniel..."

"It is your time, Dean," he said again, his voice deep and steady.

"No! Damnit, Diniel, leave my brother! Take me!" He coughed up blood and cringed in pain.

"You will live the rest of your days this way, Dean. No home, no family...are you sure?"

"Yes," he said weakly. "I can't live without Lisa or Ben...Don't make me."

Castiel watched the exchange in anticipation. Finally, Sam placed a hand on Dean's forehead and closed his eyes. A bright light shined through Dean's eyes as the exchange was made and Sam fell backwards onto the floor, eyes wide and in shock. Dean looked down and the gunshot wound healed itself slowly. Castiel let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank God...Dean, are you ok?" he hurried over to his friend and his lover, but Dean stood up, walking past Castiel with a determined look on his face.

"Dean-"

"My name is Diniel. I am a servant and a soldier of Heaven. I'm going now, Castiel...don't look for me."

Castiel was very confused. "Wait, Dean-"

"No," Dean rounded on him. "I learned my lesson. I became too close to you once again and I almost died. This cannot continue. I have been reassigned and I intend to do things right this time. There is a bigger picture here and keeping Lucifer in Hell is priority. Goodbye, Castiel."

Castiel felt tears of anger fall down his face. "You promised, you son of a bitch!"

Dean stilled, but didn't turn around. Castiel stepped forward, standing a few feet from Dean. "You promised me nothing would turn you away from me."

Dean still didn't look at him. He simply disappeared.

* * *

><p><strong>more to come! I keep getting messages about taking requests so I'll address this now. Yes, I take requests. Will NOT do Wincest...I just can't do it. <strong>


	9. Ol Hoath

**October 7 is drawing near friends...and we will have Deanmon...YAY**

**We still hanging in there? Still keepin' it real? Good. Here's some more.**

**Warning: the 'precious memory' is here. prepare for sweetness and squalls...**

* * *

><p>For the next two weeks, Castiel didn't leave Bobby's house. In fact, he barely left the room he was sleeping in. Sam and Bobby continued work on the Colt and finding Lillith. Castiel couldn't bring himself to give a shit about any of it. Fine, bring on the Apocalypse...he had nothing without Dean anyway.<p>

Sam knocked on the door at the end of the third week. "Cas? You in there?"

"No, I'm out right now, leave a message," he said, drunk off the whiskey Bobby kept in the cabinet. He has had to buy a new bottle every day and Castiel grabbed each one and took off up to his room. Sam opened the door and leaned against the frame.

"Come on, man...I know this sucks, but we have an Apocolypse on our hands here-"

"Fuck it," Castiel took another swig of his whiskey.

"No, Cas," Sam started getting angry. "We can end this and save the world. Doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?"

Castiel looked up at Sam, rubbing the scruff that was building up on his jaw. "He promised me, Sam. He promised me in this room that nothing would turn him from me...and yeah, I get it, he got ass reamed by the great soldiers of Heaven, but he fucking promised," he said, his voice slurring and breaking. "You promised, too..."

Sam furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not a fucking idiot," Castiel knocked back the rest of the bottle and tossed it against the wall, shattering it to pieces. "You think I wouldn't notice? You stink like demon blood, Sam. You've been drinking it, you fucking piece of shit."

Sam looked defeated. "Cas, it's making me strong...I'm sending demons back to Hell-"

"Well, look at you," Castiel stumbled off the bed and stood up. "What, are you fucking that Hell slut then sucking her blood?"

"Cas, I can kill Lillith-"

"Did she tell you that!?" Castiel screamed. He was fed up with everything- from Dean to Sam he was done. "Nothing good can come of this, Sam! Do you even know what you are going to become when this is all over? You'll be a fucking monster!"

"What, you gonna hunt me? Kill me for trying to save the planet?" Sam asked, voice rising.

"If I have to," Castiel wasn't drunkenly spewing that statement. He meant it. Sam stared at him, his expression unbelieving.

"Well," he swallowed and fixed Castiel with a glare. "Good luck, I suppose."

He turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Castiel heard the windows shatter and the floor quaked beneath him. He fell to his knees and let out a dangerous growl and cracked the ceiling and hot, angry tears fell from his eyes. Everything around him was falling apart and he couldn't handle anymore. His blood boiled for Sam, his heart ached for Dean, his mind raced with all the things he wanted to do or say, but he was stuck on the floor, gripping the wood floor with white knuckles and sobbing in anger. Will it end? he asked himself. Will I have to end it?

Sam disappeared for a good week. Castiel was dragged down the stairs by Bobby every day to work on the Colt. Finally, he got it working.

"One step closer," Bobby said, satisfied with his handy work. Castiel stared blankly at the floor.

"Now, if you don't mind, keep the applause to a dull roar," Bobby said sarcastically.

"Bobby...he's drinking demon blood...Dean is gone, probably forever... what use is it to fix that stupid gun?"

Bobby put it down. "You dumbass...you're a hunter. That's the use. You hunt down the evil and save people. This ain't no different. You're best friend betrayed your trust. Your boyfriend hurt your feelings. Boohoo."

Castiel glared up at Bobby, an angry thunder rolling inside his chest.

"Go ahead. Smite me if it'll make you feel better," Bobby challenged him. "But boy, this ain't no different than any other job. You have never walked out on a job and I ain't letting you start now just because you're in a funk. Now, get your ass over to the computer and start tracking omens or so help me God I'll punch you."

Castiel glared at Bobby for another moment, seriously considering his offer to smite him and be done. Castiel had never actually smited before, but how hard could it be? Then he realized Bobby was all he had left. He swallowed hard and stood up from the chair, walking over to the computer and plopped down in the chair, feeling, somehow, a little better after Bobby's lashing.

Bobby's phone rang about three hours into omen tracking and he answers it.

"Hello?...Sam, where the hell are you?"

Castiel glanced up, seeing a worried look on Bobby's face.

"Damnit, boy...no, you...Sam, wait-" he cursed and hung up the phone. "That big bastard."

"What?"

"He found Lillith...she's breaking the final seal at a monastery. He's going tonight to kill her."

Castiel would normally be up and in the car by the mention of Lillith, but he couldn't find a reason to go. "He thinks he can do it...let him," he turned back to the computer. Bobby walked over and whacked Castiel in the back of the head.

"What the-"

"That boy ain't your blood, but he's your brother, Cas," he said angrily. "You better not make him go alone."

"He made his choice, Bobby," Castiel stood, squaring up with Bobby. "He decided to give in and chose to follow a demon instead of work with us. That is the ultimate betrayal. "

"Then pray to Dean," Bobby threw up his hands. "We ain't got time for your daytime drama bullshit lover's quarrel. We are talking Hell on Earth here!"

"He's so far up God's ass he probably already knows. Hell, let them all square off with the bitch and this will be over."

A rustle of the curtains drew their attention away from each other. Castiel's heart skipped when he saw Dean standing there.

"Where is Sam?"

"See, told you they are partnering up on this," Castiel shook his head and turned back to the computer.

"Damnit, Castiel, where is Sam!?"

Dean had never cursed before. Castiel looked back up.

"He's off to kill Lillith suped up on demon 'roids. She's breaking the final seal."

"Lillith IS the final seal. If she dies, Lucifer walks free."

Castiel looked at Bobby, both wearing shocked expressions on their faces.

"Dean...how fast can you get me there?"

* * *

><p>In a blink they are in darkness, no moon out to light the sky. They are outside an old monastery in the middle of nowhere.<p>

"They're in there. There's only a few minutes," Dean looked toward the building. "It's warded against angels."

"How do we get in?"

"You can. You're still human enough that it won't affect you. Just stop him...by any means necessary."

Castiel glared at Dean. "You mean kill him?"

"If it comes to that. Lucifer cannot rise, Castiel."

"I can't kill Sam..." Castiel looked back up at the building.

"Time is slipping by, Castiel," Dean grabbed his shoulders. "Go in there and stop this!"

"What the hell happened to you, Dean," he threw Dean's arms off of him. "What did they do to you up there?"

Dean looked frustrated. "Castiel, not now-"

"Why!? Why can't you just talk to me!?"

"Because I can't ok? I can't because I'll just fall right back into you and won't come back! I have a job to do and you keep me from it! Now get in there and stop your fucking friend from killing us all!"

Castiel held his glare for a moment before shaking his head. "If we survive this...you and I are discussing this. Don't give me that 'I have orders' bullshit, either. You loved me once, Diniel. You still do. And I still love you. This isn't over."

Castiel left an angry Dean behind as he marched toward the gate of the monastery and ripped the lock off the chains with incredible strength.

He entered the place and found bodies lining the hallway. Demons, he assumed. Sam was apparently powerful enough to take on over a dozen without breaking a sweat. How the hell was he supposed to stop him from killing Lillith?

'By any means necessary' rang through his ears like a bad song. He shook as he pulled his gun from behind his back and loaded it.

Commotion down at the end of the hall behind a bolted door drew him away from his thoughts, his gun ready to fire. He ran over to the door and banged on it. Distract, he thought to himself.

"Sam!? Sam, don't do this! It's a trap!"

The voices hushed behind the door and then suddenly, a flicker of light and screams came from the other side. Lillith screamed, then she didn't.

Laughter...that demon bitch was laughing.

"You knew..." he heard Sam say.

Damnit, he thought and he stood back and kicked the bolted door as hard as he could, throwing it into the room off its hinges and seeing Lillith lying on the ground. Dead.

"No," Castiel growled and pulled out the blade he had stolen from Dean. Without a thought, he walked over to Ruby and raised the blade. Sam turned her and held her down while Castiel pierced her chest with it. She cried out and flickered like a dying bulb before falling to the ground.

Sam looked over at Lillith, shock and disgust on his face.

"Cas..."

"Shut up," he grabbed Sam's arm and pulled, but Sam didn't move.

"Cas, look," he pointed down at the floor. Blood drained from Lillith's body and began to form a circle that spiraled inward in the middle of the floor.

"We gotta get out of here, Sammy," Castiel pulled agian.

"I didn't know-"

"Sam, it's ok, come on," Castiel yanked Sam's arm again and ran to the door, but the metal door flew back onto its hinges and barred them in.

They were trapped.

They woke on a plane surrounded by people reading Skymall and watching the in-flight movie.

"What happened," Castiel looked around, expecting something big to happen, but it was silent.

"I don't know...where are we?"

The pilot got on the radio and made an announcement. "Passengers, we will be landing in about fifteen minutes. Please put your belts on and prepare for landing."

Suddenly, a flash of light shot up toward the sky, causing the plane to jolt. It was the cage. It was opening.

* * *

><p>One week into Apocalypse Now, and no word from Dean. No word from Lucifer either, for that matter. Everything seemed to be as hectic as it always had. Castiel stood outside with a wrench and his t-shirt draped over the mirror of his car. Rotating tires seemed to be keeping his mind clear for the day, but since Dean left, it felt as if his memories were beginning to flood back more frequently. He started to remember being a fledgling, training with the soldiers, leading battles into large cities to free slaves. The memories of Diniel were the worst. Castiel now knew his laugh, his anger, his confusion, his moments of weakness and moments of ecstasy by heart. It was the worst type of torture.<p>

For months, he had asked about the precious memory Dean wanted him to remember. As he was walking back inside and entering his room, it hit him like a Mac truck.

_'Diniel stood in front of Castiel in a large, open meadow. It was obviously Heaven. Everything was bright, even the colors were more vibrant. Diniel held his forearm as Castiel held Diniel's. Their wrists were joined and bound with what looked like fishing twine. It was a chain...made of pure silver from each of their wings._

_"Olani commah oi lit ol ollog," Castiel recited, his voice less than steady. Castiel could feel Diniel shaking beneath his grip. "You don't have to say it, Diniel. We can stop this."_

_Diniel looked into his eyes, fear in them, but his determination and love was not wavering._

_"Olani commah oi lit ol ollog," Diniel repeated and suddenly, a powerful feeling of warmth and comfort spread over them both. It felt like a string attaching them at the wrist. Castiel knew he had to finish._

_"The pull of two beings being joined is significant. It is a tether, holding them to each other for all eternity. Nothing can sever it and nothing can attach to it on any side. It is begun at one end and ended at another, both beings on either side, always able to find each other even in darkness." Castiel was nervous. He tightened his grip on Diniel's forearm and said his piece._

_"Humans say 'I love you'. Love is such a word that is thrown around like a child's toy, never truly connecting to the heart. You have asked me before, Diniel what I mean when I say 'No words'. I mean this- no words can describe you, nor can they tell you what you are to me. You are unlike any being that has ever existed and there is no word in the hundreds of languages dead or alive that can describe what I feel for you, not just at this moment, but every moment we have spent together. Words are small and short. Saying I have no words, it leaves the door open to every word imaginable that could even scratch the surface of what you mean to me."_

_Diniel's eyes were fixed on Castiel's, shimmering in the light of the bright green meadow._

_"I know I'm about to leave you here alone, Diniel. I know I am going to Earth, but I will have you with me always. I will find you again, ol hoath...for we are now bound. Your soul is mine and mine is yours. No realms of Heaven, Hell, or Earth can break that."_

_Diniel fell into Castiel's arms and Castiel held him closely, afraid to let him go for good. The centries were on their way and he would not have him to hold for a long time. Castiel, however, smiled._

_"I will find you again, ol hoath...my love," he repeated, his voice breaking as Diniel let out a broken cry. "This is not forever."'_

Castiel collapsed to the floor, the hard wood stinging his knees before being overpowered by his own angelic strength. He buried his head in his hands and cried out in anguish.

"Diniel...please...please come back...I remember now. I remember everything."

The feeling of a presence behind him made him look up, eyes bloodshot and burning with tears.

Dean stood by the door, looking down at him with an expression on his face that seemed to be joy, but was masked with apprehension.

"Dean...Diniel...I remembered..."

"I know," Dean spoke, his voice unsteady, but his posture was tight. Castiel stumbled to his feet.

"I bound you to me...you did, too...we got married?"

Dean swallowed. "In the human sense...yes."

Castiel stepped back and dropped onto the bed, steadying himself by holding his knees. "You never told me we were married."

"Bound," Dean corrected him. "Marriages can be temporary, but binding is forever. It's the ultimate gesture of love."

"Dean, I'll do whatever I have to do... please don't leave me again," he choked. Dean took a step back.

"Castiel...I...can't-"

"You said it was forever," he felt like he sounded like a teenage girl, but he didn't care. "What did they do to you?"

"They tortured me," Dean said, obviously troubled by it, "they told me that if I didn't walk away from you they would kill you. This is the only way, Castiel. I won't let you die because of my own selfish heart."

"What about mine?" Castiel stood, starting to feel angry. "Why do you get the luxury of not feeling anything while I have to suffer!?"

"Not feeling anything?" Dean looked shocked. "Castiel, I miss you with every breath. I did this for you! I abandoned God's mission to keep you safe! I physically hurt because I can't be with you so don't you ever presume to think I don't feel! It's all I ever do now that I've found you again."

Castiel shook his head, a fresh wave of tears falling from his eyes. "Everything is so clear to me now...I relieved one pressure only to have another waiting for me. I remember every single memory of us, of Heaven, fuck, my own fledglinghood. I don't even feel like myself anymore and I'm scared. You said you would help me carry this burden, Dean. You carry burdens, too. I want to help you...I want you with me..."

Dean's face held the inner struggle he was facing. He reached up and ran his hands through his hair. "Castiel..."

Castiel stepped forward and pulled Dean close, their lips inches apart and eyes locked. Dean still seemed tensed.

"If there is anything in the world worth betraying Heaven for...it's us. It's the promise we made to each other. No words, Dean...and I mean it."

A moment lingered between them, thick and full of anticipation on Castiel's end. The dam finally broke. Dean surged forward and pressed his lips to Castiel's as he turned Castiel and slammed him against the wall. Relief fell over Castiel like a blanket as he wrapped his arms around Dean. Dean lifted Castiel off the floor into his arms and pressed his body into the wall and kissed down his neck, teeth biting and tongue lapping behind them.

"I missed you so much," Castiel panted. Dean looked up at him.

"I missed you, too," he blinked away tears and took Castiel over to the bed, laying him down and crawling up to capture his lips again. With lightning speed and a bit of fumbling, their clothes were gone. Castiel remained on the bed as Dean went to straddle his lap.

"No...take me," Castiel gripped Dean's bicep. Dean tilted his head.

"It may hurt-"

"It will," he sat up and pressed his palm flat to Dean's heart. "but I want this."

Dean nodded and pushed Castiel back on the bed. He reached over to Castiel's bedside table to grab the lube and coat his fingers. He gently pushed his finger into Castiel, who hissed, but soon relaxed enough to have a second.

Dean had never done this before- taken Castiel. It felt like he had received something so precious that he couldn't believe it was actually happening.

"Dean," he pulled him up to kiss him. Dean coated his cock and slowly pushed in. Both exhaled, eyes glazed and blown out with lust and love for the other. Dean pulled Castiel's legs to wrap around his waist and pulled him up to sit in his lap as he sat back on his knees. His strength was incredible as he helped Castiel move on his cock. Castiel rested his forehead against Dean's as he picked up his speed, heat turning the room into a furnace. The lights above their heads flickered and exploded. Outside, a strong wind and clouds had moved in, casting the world in semi darkness. It was all absent to them, however. Dean lay Castiel back on the bed and gripped his hand in his, their wrists joining. Heat and electricity flowed between them like nothing they had felt before. As their pace quickened, the windows shattered and the intensity of it all casted Dean's large black wings into view, lit up by the raging storm outside.

As the end approached. Castiel let his mind flood over with the memory of that day- the day he made his promise to Dean to always find him again. Overcome with pleasure and emotion, he came hard with a beautiful cry, one that didn't sound like him. Not in this form.

Dean's wings stretched wide around them and he let out a groan that Castiel knew shook the very foundation the house stood on and came inside him. As the pleasure got to be too much, Dean pulled out and dropped next to Castiel, wings retreating back into their natural form hidden from the world and the raging storm around them fell quiet. They could still hear a quiet, peaceful rain fall outside the broken window.

"It's never been that way before," Dean finally broke the sound of exhausted pants with a few quiet words.

Castiel looked over at him, tears still on his face. "What way?"

"We've never...joined our wrists before. Our true forms were revealed to a degree."

Castiel reached up and ran his hand up Dean's smooth back, half expecting to find feathers, but he didn't.

"I saw your wings."

Dean smiled softly. "You did. And I saw you...your real face...it had been so long since I had."

Castiel slid close to Dean and pulled him to his chest, kissing him tiredly. Both were physically drained.

"You won't leave me...will you?" Castiel asked. Dean looked up at him, face full of hurt.

"I...no-"

"You hesitated," Castiel sounded disappointed.

"I won't," Dean sat up on his elbow. "I couldn't even if I tried. Castiel, you gave up everything for me. I thought I was giving you up to save you, but I was so wrong...I'm so sorry I put you through that."

Castiel cupped his cheek and pulled him down to kiss him softly. Dean lingered in the kiss a little longer than he wanted, but he felt like he never wanted to leave the comfort of Castiel's lips. There, he was not Diniel the angel. He was just Diniel. As they finally broke the kiss, Castiel was blinking tears back.

"I'm not going to let them hurt me...I won't let them hurt you either."

Dean smiled and leaned his forehead against Castiel's. "Neither will I, ol hoath."

"My love," Castiel repeated and Dean lay his head on Castiel's shoulder. For the first time in weeks, Castiel fell into a peaceful sleep, his angel by his side.

* * *

><p><strong>The enochian they speak is something like "I bind myself to this being". I forgot to put it in the subtitles when I wrote it :P Ol Hoath means my love. <strong>

**AAAAAAAAAW**


	10. War

**Jesus, I'm getting bad at this updating thing again. Bleh.**

**I'm too busy being Super Nurse and working as many hours as one can before physically dropping. I'm gonna learn eventually.**

**Well, in the mean time, I am working on another fic and working on unsticking the plots of past fics for the Glee fandom so they can also enjoy my literary pleasures. **

**I'm becoming a diva. Quick! Someone slap me!**

**No, please don't, I bruise easily...**

**Anyway, here's more.**

* * *

><p>Castiel had hoped Satan would keep quiet while he was wreaking havoc upon the Earth, but no such luck.<p>

"Floods, plagues, mass murders...The only thing missing is the locusts," Bobby grumbled as he flicked off the TV and went back into the living room where Sam was sulking in front of his computer looking up omens and Castiel was thumbing through an old version of the Judeo-Christian bible. Dean seemed to be lost in thought. He had been back a week and, though he and Castiel had made their amends, he still seemed to be disengaged. Castiel couldn't blame him. He had been trying to keep all this from happening and he couldn't. He could relate.

"Are you three gonna stew in your juices or are you gonna get off your asses and do something about this!?" Bobby threw his hands up, frustrated.

"What would you have us do, Bobby? We screwed up," Sam looked up. "I screwed up."

"Then fix it! We make a mess we clean it up. You know, you two have been acting like a couple of brats lately. Nut up!"

Castiel, Dean, and Sam both looked up at Bobby in surprise. "Where's this coming from?"

"You boys are hunters. I already told Cas this, but you can't just say this is it just because it's big. We find out what the thing is, we kill it. That's our job."

"We know what the thing is, Bobby," Castiel stood up, pacing. "The thing just happens to be fucking Satan. How do you kill Satan?"

Bobby shrugged. "We dig til we find out. Where is the Colt?"

Castiel and Bobby looked at Sam, who looked even more guilty than before. "Gone. Again."

Bobby looked as if he had heard him wrong. "Gone?"

"Ruby stole it off me before we went into the monastery. I didn't exactly have time to get it off her when all Hell broke loose."

"Then we will figure something else out."

Castiel rolled his eyes and looks over at Dean, who still seemed to be out of it.

"Dean? You ok?"

"This can't be right," he mumbled to himself. "I mean...God would never give the order to start the End unless he knew the world was ready...and it wasn't."

"Well, didn't you once say He wasn't giving the orders anymore?" Sam asked.

Dean sighed. "This madness should end...I know what I have to do."

"What's that?" Castiel asked, walking over to him. Dean stood up and grabbed his jacket.

"I suppose I'll have to go and find God."

Without much explanation, Dean leaves in a blink of an eye. Castiel wasn't happy about him taking off again, but knew he had to do something. He was obviously troubled by the whole situation.

Bobby's phone rang and through the garbled mess, he discovered it was another hunter- an old man named Rufus Turner who Bobby used to hunt with. Bobby was about to get the name of the town before the signal cut out.

"River Falls, Colorado," Bobby hung up the phone. "Rufus says the place is swarming with demons."

"We'll go check it out. Could just be demons celebrating, but we gotta see."

They packed their bags and started to head out to the car. Bobby followed behind.

"If you boys run into anything sticky, call me. Be safe out there."

Castiel and Sam nodded. Castiel gave Sam the keys and turned to Bobby.

"If Dean comes back, tell him where we went, ok?"

Bobby studied Castiel's face then placed a hand on his shoulder. "Dean will be fine, Cas. I'll let him know, though."

Castiel nodded. "Thanks, Bobby."

"Now get. Do your job," he smiled and shoved Castiel toward the car. Feeling a little better, Castiel smiled and opened the driver door.

"Changed my mind, dork, move it," he prodded Sam with his foot. For the first time since before the Apocalypse started, Sam smiled.

* * *

><p>River Falls, Colorado was a wasteland, cut off from the rest of the world. Castiel parked the Impala and they walked, weapons drawn, through the town. Cars were turned on their roofs, the sound of gunfire rang through the air miles around them like a war zone.<p>

"Jesus...this is crazy," Castiel looked around. The sound of a gun cocking behind them caused them to turn quickly, but they froze when they saw who it was.

"Boys?" It was Ellen, an old friend of John's who ran a hunter's bar called Harvalle's. They had met up with her many times, as well as her daughter, Jo, before Castiel went to Hell.

"Ellen, what the Hell are you doing here?"

"Hunting...with Jo," she put her gun down. "She went missing a day or so ago and I'm out looking for her."

"Where's Rufus?" Castiel asked. Ellen gave them a sullen look.

"I haven't seen him. He called Jo and me to come in and check this out, but so far he hasn't turned up. Look, there is a base camp in the middle of town at the church. There aren't many survivors, but there are fewer demons than we started with."

They quickly made their way to the church and, before they could go into the basement, Ellen turned Castiel around and slapped him in the face.

"Ow, what the-"

"You didn't think it would be important to make a phone call? Tell us you were top side again? I had to find out from fucking Bobby Singer?" she scolded then threw her arms around him. He was a little thrown off by the shift from anger to affection and Sam trying to hide a laugh only made it worse. Castiel hugged Ellen and apologized in her ear.

"It's good to have you back, Cas. Next time you decide to go to Hell then come back, a phone call would be nice," she smirked and pinched his ass. He jumped and cleared his throat.

"Yes mam," he mumbled. Sam contained his laugh as Castiel threw him a bitch glare. They headed in and found only a few people- maybe thirteen- working away at filling shotgun shells with salt rounds.

"This is it? What, we're gonna send baby bump out there with shotgun?" Castiel pointed at the young pregnant woman who was helping her husband load a weapon.

"Yesterday we had 20...we went out to find the others. This is who came back," Ellen said sadly. "That was when we lost Jo."

Castiel shook his head and loaded his gun. "Ok, Ellen and I will go out and look for supplies. You stay here and help these guys out."

Sam furrowed his brow. "No way."

"There are demons out there, Sam. I think it would be better for everyone if you just lay low and show these guys how to protect themselves."

Sam's face finally showed understanding. "Right...demons...you think I'm gonna fall off the wagon and drink blood," he spoke softly so Ellen wouldn't hear.

"Yes, to be honest," Castiel said sternly.

"I'll be fine," he opened the door and walked out. Castiel sighed defeatedly.

"We'll be back," Castiel squeezed her shoulder and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

They walked through the town looking for a pawn shop and grocery store. Once they found them across the street from each other, Castiel sighed.

"I'll go grab the ammo, you go get some food and water. Just...be careful,ok?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "You think so little of me, Cas."

"No, I just... Just be careful," he said again and headed toward the pawn shop. He loaded up on tools and ammo before heading back over to the grocery store to help Sam. When he rounded the corner, he froze. Sam stood over two bodies holding Ruby's demon knife. It was dripping with blood. Castiel looked up at Sam, gauging his reaction, but Sam quickly wiped the blade off on his jeans and stuck it back in his pocket before grabbing the stuff he picked up and they headed back to the church.

The townspeople had settled down a little and were practicing with their weapons when they returned. Castiel walked over to the priest who was sitting at a table, his rosary cupped in his hand as he prayed.

"You ok, Father?" Castiel asked, making the man jump.

"This is it, isn't it? The end has come?"

Castiel sighed and nodded. "Yeah, this is it."

The man let out a shaky sigh and nodded. "And you boys...that woman...you know what you're doing?"

"We've been at this a long time. You're in good hands," he clapped the man on the shoulder. The man looked at him as if he were studying him.

"This may sound odd...but are you an angel?"

Castiel's eyes grew a little wide. "Why would you think that?"

"You have a sense of peace around you is all," the man shrugged. "You seem to radiate it. Maybe it's just your nature, but something about you seems familiar...like something I have been praying to."

Castiel swallowed and sat next to the man. "Don't say anything, ok?"

The man crossed himself and nodded furiously. "Your name? What is it?"

"Castiel," he told him. The man nodded.

"Angel of Solitude," he told him. "It's not your nature to be a leader, but here you are. Thank you for being here, angel."

Castiel never knew his true title. Though it sounded depressing, it was a solid foundation he had to go on.

"Cas?" he heard his name called. He patted the priest on the shoulder and headed over to Sam and Ellen.

"We're going to look for Jo and Rufus."

"Sam-"

"None of that crap, Cas," Sam shook his head. "I heard that guy...you keep them calm. I'll be fine. We're gonna bring Jo and Rufus back and we'll get this ugly mess figured out. You're an angel, Cas...these guys need one right now."

Castiel tried to protest, but the words of the priest radiated in him. With a sigh, he nodded.

Sam and Ellen walked out, leaving him with a room full of frightened people.

It felt like hours before the knock at the door came. Ellen ran in and slammed the door. Sam wasn't with her.

"Ellen, where's Sam?"

"They got him. Cas, we have to talk...in private."

They walked over to the corner of the room and after ensuring they wouldn't be overheard, Ellen whispered, "Something isn't right here, Cas...those demons didn't act right."

"Meaning?"

"I saw Jo...she was possessed, but...Cas, she called me a 'black-eyed bitch'."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "She thought you were a demon?"

"I've never seen anything like it...holy water didn't work, salt didn't work...what kind of demon is immune to salt and holy water?"

"None...which means they aren't demons," Castiel thought aloud. A young man, seemingly frustrated, stood up quickly.

"We gotta get back out there. Our families are out there somewhere and we're sitting on our asses while those demons are running around killing them. I'm taking a group out. Anyone coming with me needs to load up."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "We don't know what's out there, guy. You're going to lead these people to their graves and yourself."

"No one asked you," he snapped and headed to the door. Six others joined him, minus the pregnant woman, which Castiel was thankful for.

"Wait a minute," Ellen tried to stop them, but they were out the door before she could get it out.

"Son of a bitch," Castiel growled and loaded his gun. "Come on, we gotta find Sam."

"One moment, Castiel," the father stopped him. He was holding a book- a bible- in his hands. "I think I know what's going on here."

Castiel stopped, chancing a look at Ellen before walking over to him and letting him read a passage.

"I heard the second living creature saying, "Come," And another, a red horse, went out; and to him who sat on it, it was granted to take peace from the Earth and that men would slay one another. This passage is about War, the horseman."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "Like...the Four Horsemen?"

The priest looked at him, surprised that an angel didn't know about the Horsemen. "Yes...it's the closest guess I have, but it would explain why, as you say, the demons are not acting right. War comes in and turns the people of earth against each other, damns them all to Hell as they kill innocents by the thousands."

Castiel nodded. "It's the best guess we've got. Come on, Ellen," he took her hand and pulled her out the door. They had to find Sam.

They saw smoke coming from a house on the other side of town and made for it. The townspeople had found it first, however. Gunfire rocked the small town as they stepped over fallen innocents to get to the house.

Castiel ran up the stairs as quickly as he could, avoiding the snipers in the windows, to find Sam. He was tied down in an upstairs bedroom.

"Cas, it's not demons!"

"I know, I know, it's War," he quickly untied Sam and they headed back down the stairs.

"It's the guy in the suit...Rodger, I think. He has this ring."

Castiel and Sam were tackled to the ground by Rufus and Jo, whose eyes were black pits.

"Guys, stop," Castiel shoved Rufus off him. "We're not demons! It's War!"

"Damn right it is, you hell bitch," Rufus swung a bat at his head, but he ducked in time.

"No, the horseman, Rufus! You know it's true! I'm Cas. It's really me!"

Rufus stared at him closely. Slowly, Rufus's eyes started to return to normal.

"Cas?" he asked as if seeing him for the first time.

Castiel sighed in relief. Jo had Sam by the throat. Rufus pulled her off and her eyes returned to normal as well.

"What...the hell?"

"We have to find that guy. If we get the ring, maybe it'll all stop," Sam and Castiel leapt out of the broken window and took off down the street, searching for a red horse.

"A red horse? Really, Cas?"

"That's what the freaking Bible said," he looked around until he saw a single guy, looking back at the wreckage, standing next to a cherry red Mustang.

"Red horse," he sighed and they charged the man, pinning him to the car.

He laughed. "Oh, you two finally found me, huh? You can kill me...my brothers won't like it, but you just go right ahead..."

Castiel laughed. "Yeah...we just want this," he took the knife from his pocket and started sawing off the ring finger of the Horseman. Rufus brought Jo and Ellen back to them and they headed out of town quickly, hearing the gunfire cease.

Crossing over the river to their vehicles, Castiel tossed War's finger into the river and turned the ring over in his hand.

"Guess if you cut off the source, they're useless."

"Well, that's good information to know," Sam ran his hands through his hair. Rufus walked up and shook Sam's hand.

"Thanks for coming, boys. I could have handled it, but-"

"Yeah, yeah, that's why you called Bobby," Ellen ribbed him and hugged the boys. "Really, though, thank you...thought I had lost Jo."

Jo, who hadn't said much, simply smiled at them and nodded. "Thanks."

They got back into the car and drove back to Bobby's. Before they go in, Sam stops Castiel.

"You were right," he said simply.

"I'm always right," Castiel jested, punching Sam's shoulder lightly. "What am I right about?"

"The demon blood...Cas, I don't trust myself with this. I think I need to just...take a step back for a while."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "You mean stop hunting?"

"I mean leave."

Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but Sam held up his hand. "Cas, I know what you're going to say- this isn't the time to be worrying about this or we have too much going on-"

"Actually...I was going to agree."

Sam looked a little stunned. "It's not that I want you to go, Sammy, I don't," Castiel rubbed his neck and slid his hand in his pocket. "You need time to get over this and some time from the job will help that. No demons, no Apocalypse, just...you."

Sam swallowed hard and looked at Castiel. "You gonna be ok without me?"

"Please, I got this," Castiel joked and smirked.

"I mean...without me or Dean."

Castiel thought for a moment then nodded. "I'm the angel of solitude, Sam...it's kind of in my job description that I learn to make it on my own."

Sam gave him a quick smile then pulled him in for a hug. They didn't hug much, so it was a little weird, but something Bobby once said, about Sam being his brother even though they aren't blood, made him appreciate it more.

Sam backed away and loaded his bag onto his shoulder. "I'll snake one of Bobby's cars, I guess."

Castiel shook his head and handed him the keys to the Impala. "Don't wreck it."

Sam laughed and nodded. "Promise."

* * *

><p>Sam had been gone almost a week. He texted, but never called, simply checking in. Castiel filled Bobby in on the Horsemen situation and they started their research. Castiel still missed Dean terribly, but he was learning to deal with it in healthier ways that killing his liver or sulking. He started lifting weights out back behind the shop and running through town every morning and night at sunset. He never really just had time to do things he enjoyed and it was nice. It was an awakening for him. He practiced honing his powers and learning to control them under stress and so far, no more broken windows or cracked ceilings.<p>

He was sleeping on the couch after a long morning run when he heard his name.

"Castiel?"

He jumped, the water bottle in his hand spilling a little. "Damnit, Dean...a little warning?"

Dean looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry," he said. Their relationship since Dean returned to him had been a little...awkward, to say the least. They hadn't been intimate since they actually made up and Dean left pretty quickly on his mission to find God three weeks before.

Castiel stood up and stretched. "What's up? Just wanted to stop in for a chat?"

"I need your help, actually...I'm looking for an archangel named Raphael."

Castiel stifled a laugh. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel? What for?"

Clearly not getting the joke, Dean shook his head. "He may know the location of God. I have heard whispers that he was spotted in a town not far from Denver, Colorado."

"Ok... so why do you need my help?"

"Well...finding him may require talking to people..."

Castiel couldn't fight a smile at the look of discomfort on Dean's face at the thought of actually interrogating humans.

"What's funny?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head.

"Just you...anyway, sure...I'll pack a-"

Before he could do anything, Dean had flown him to a police station, throwing him off a little when he looked around and didn't see Bobby's anymore.

"The man who saw him was a police officer. I figured we would go in and ask him about what he saw."

"He saw this archangel and he still has eyes? Wow, ok, look we can't just go busting up in there. Come with me," he lead Dean down the street to a shop that sold cheap suits and picked out one for himself and Dean.

"Ok, go put this on," he handed his suit. "We'll look more like feds. Right now, you look more like a roadie for Dave Matthews."

Dean looked down at his signature olive t-shirt, grey button-down, and jeans before taking the suit and changing. Castiel changed quickly, his mind catching up to the fact that he was now working a case with Dean. He was more than thrilled that his angel was back, but he feared it was temporary.

He stepped out and looked in the mirror on the door. Another man in a suit stood at the other, looking slightly uncomfortable. When he turned to the side, his jaw figuratively dropped.

Dean looked fucking good in a suit, he thought to himself. The images in his head of what he could do with that tie were begrudgingly pushed to the side and he walked over.

"Not bad, James Bond," he smirked and startled Dean. Dean looked down.

"I feel ridiculous and who's James Bond?"

Castiel placed his hands on Dean's shoulders. "You look...great," he had to stop himself from saying hot or fuckable. "Now, let's go talk to a man about an archangel."

* * *

><p>Dean was horrible at lying. After assuring the cop at the desk that Dean was new and he would be leading the case, he led Dean back to the sherrif's office.<p>

"Just let me do the talking, ok? No talk of archangels, ok? Humans aren't really receptive to that."

Dean nodded. "Thank you for helping me."

Castiel wanted to take his hand at that moment, but he fought the urge. "I told you...I'll always help. Now, come on."

They stepped in the office and the officer, a small black man, smiled and shook their hands.

"Agents, thank you for coming. Gonna have to speak up a little, this right ear is blown to shit," he indicated his right ear. "How can I help?"

"The riot at the gas station, you responded to it?"

"Yeah, it was awful," he looked troubled. "Bodies everywhere. Then it got weird...there was this big flash of light then there was this guy...just kneeling in the middle of it all."

"Raphael," Dean turned to Castiel.

"Who?" the man asked.

"The man kneeling," Castiel said quickly, throwing a look at Dean. "Did you know him?"

"Yeah, he was a mechanic at the gas station. He hadn't even been touched. Whatever the explosion was, it screwed up my ear pretty bad...two of my fellow officers went blind."

Dean was obviously biting his tongue, but he looked at Castiel.

"That's all for now, sir, thank you," Castiel stood and Dean followed. Once outside, Dean stopped him.

"We have to find that mechanic. He must have been Raphael's vessel. I know he has left it, but where, I don't know."

"Look, let's find a place to lay low, we'll go out tomorrow and find this guy."

Dean nodded and they headed out to the outskirts of town. An old farmhouse that obviously hadn't held any living creature save squirrels and spiders for years stood at the end of a dirt road. They went in and fumbled through the dark a little before Castiel found some old candles to light.

Dean flew out to hunt down something that would aid them and when he returned, he carried a large jug.

"What's that?" Castiel asked as he pulled a beer from the bag he bought at the store.

"It's Holy oil. I found it in Jerusalem."

Castiel raised his brow. "You went to Jerusalem? That was quick."

Dean sat at an old table, his tie loosened and his mind obviously working overtime. After freshening up in the ratty old bathroom that barely supplied any water, Castiel leaned against the door frame and watched him for a while. Castiel had hoped that Dean would start to engage conversation like he once did, but the minutes rolled by in silence.

Castiel walked over and sat across from Dean at the table. "You ok?"

"I didn't want to drag you into this, Castiel," Dean said, not looking away from the window. Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Don't give me that."

"It's a very high possibility that we will die trying to find this archangel. My whole mission in this was to keep you safe."

Castiel couldn't keep his thoughts to himself. "At least I know you still care."

Dean looked over at him, confused. "Why wouldn't I?"

Castiel sighed and shook his head. "Forget it."

"No," Dean leaned forward on the table. "Why wouldn't I care about your safety?"

"You bolted the second you could after you came back, Dean," Castiel stood, feeling anxious in his seat. "And since we made up, things have just been...weird, I guess. Like you don't care about us like you did before."

Dean sighed, not a frustrated one, but one that said he knew what Castiel was saying. "I'm sorry...it's just that this whole Apocalypse has me baffled. There are things that should have fallen into place before God gave the orders...it's very obvious that this wasn't His plan, so if He knows...why hasn't he stopped it? The whole thing is mysterious. Castiel, I still care about you very much...I still love you. That hasn't changed."

Castiel felt like a big baby throwing a tantrum after seeing the sincerity in Dean's eyes. He laughed a disgusted laugh at himself and shook his head. "I've been so stupid."

Dean stood up and walked over to Castiel, wrapping his arms around his middle. "You are far from that, ol hoath."

Castiel felt his heart warm at the endearment. It was so familiar and long since forgotten to him that it was wonderful to hear it again. He rested his forehead against Dean's.

"So...possibly our last night on Earth? Got any plans?"

Dean lazily scraped his nails against the back of Castiel's jacket. "None...do you?"

"I have a few ideas...if you would partake with me?"

Dean looked up at Castiel, his eyes showing signs of understanding. "I suppose if this is possibly our last night...we should make it count."

Castiel cupped Dean's jaw and kissed him gently, lovingly, while Dean sighed and gripped the back of Castiel's jacket. He shrugged it off his shoulders and Dean tossed it to the side while Castiel worked the buttons open on Dean's white button down shirt. The warmth in the room was stifling them, causing them to rush each other's clothes off. Dean went to untie his tie from his bare chest, but Castiel pushed his hands away and did it himself. He lay Dean down on the bare floor, both hissing a little at the cool contrast but slowly settling into it. Castiel took the tie and slowly bound Dean's hands, checking his reaction to see if he was ok and his eyes grew darker, showing that he was not afraid. Castiel kissed down Dean's neck, chest and stomach, stopping to suck at the skin at his hipbone. He left a beautiful red mark just above his groin that made Dean whimper when he nipped at it one final time before moving further south to take in the scent of him.

Castiel felt Dean's thighs shake as he took him into this mouth, making sure he was good and wet before he moved to straddle his lap. Castiel had learned that he could dull his own pain and thought what the hell...last night on Earth. He lined himself up with Dean's cock and slid down, feeling the burn slowly ebbing away into pleasure as he concentrated on it. Dean had learned in their time together to keep his voice down and Castiel could see that he was trying now.

"There's no one for miles, angel," he leaned down and whispered against his ear, reaching up to grip his bound hands. "Let me hear you."

As Castiel started to rock his hips, Dean let out a sinful sound that was beautiful and addictive to Castiel. He needed to hear more of it. He picked up his pace and leaned down to suck and bite at Dean's throat, the angle perfect for Dean to hit his sweet spot with every inward thrust.

"C-Cas," he sounded wrecked, which he should considering how slowly Castiel was moving. Castiel untied his hands and gripped them in his, joining their wrists. Electric heat shot through both of their bodies and both cried out as Dean flipped them with great strength, wings bare in the flickering light of the candles as he increased his speed. Sweat was shining off Dean's body and Castiel thought of no better sight on his last night than that.

"Ol hoath," Dean panted, "Olani hoath ol."

"I love you, too, Dean," Castiel cupped the side of his sweaty face and for a moment, he saw Diniel peaking through his vessel. It was incredible. He felt his body release and he cried out, legs tensing around Dean's back. Dean's hips shuddered with release and his arms gave out, his head falling onto Castiel's chest. They lay there a moment, not wanting to give up this fleeting moment they had together before the inevitable fell back over them. Castiel reached up and ran his fingers through Dean's hair.

Eventually, Dean pulled out of him and lay on his back next to Castiel, looking exhausted.

"Are you ok?" Castiel asked.

"More than," Dean smiled and looked over at him, placing a shaking hand on his face. "You are so beautiful, Castiel."

"Beautiful is for flowers," Castiel laughed and kissed the palm of Dean's hand.

"You are no flower," Dean agreed, "but beautiful is also used to describe the sunset...the stars...things that can't be described in any other way."

"No words," Castiel recited, remembering his vows to Diniel. Dean swallowed hard and blinked a couple times. Castiel leaned up on his elbow and kissed Dean gently, pulling his body close to him. After that they talked. Talked about everything from Heaven to Hell to their hopes and dreams...it was all very chick flick for Castiel, but he didn't care with Dean.

"If we survive this...Raphael and the Apocalypse...I want to give up this life. I want to find a home, a job...have a family," Castiel lamented as he lay back against his duffle bag, still naked with Dean resting against his shoulder.

"That would be nice," Dean smiled. "The family part, at least...I would be inept at a job."

"You could be a teacher," Castiel shrugged. "You like children and keeping them safe. Or a pediatrician."

"What's that?" Dean asked, sounding interested.

"It's a doctor. They work specifically with children, make them better when they are sick."

Dean let out a thoughtful sound. "That would be a nice job to have."

Castiel smiled. "So you won't be ditching me for Heaven after the Apocalypse?"

Dean sat up and brushed Castiel's hair off his sweaty forehead. "You said forever. I told you it was a long time."

Castiel smiled and pulled Dean down to rest his forehead against his and kissed his nose. "I did promise. And since we are married and all that-"

"Bound," Dean corrected him again.

"Even better. Since we are bound, I don't think we really have a say. We're stuck with each other for eternity."

"Heaven won't take me back now," Dean said, sounding less sullen about it than he normally would. "I like Earth. There's so much here, so many opportunities. I'd like to try as many things as I can."

"We'll try them all, then," Castiel sat up and pulled Dean close. Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder. "We'll be unstoppable."

* * *

><p><strong>I shiver with warm fuzzies.<strong>


	11. Changing Channels

**My heart is light with elation. The 200th episode spoke volumes about how the writers and creators of the show feel about us as a fandom. The girls killed the monster. The girls saved the boys. The fans save Supernatural. All to hilarious, awesome music. "A Single Man Tear" will someday be my ringtone.**

**We did it, kids...nerds unite.**

**This is a loooooong chapter and covers one of my favorite Supernatural episodes, "Changing Channels". Because we all love to hear "Nutcrackaaaaaah!"**

* * *

><p>The morning came and they entered the hospital they tracked the mechanic from the gas station down to. Castiel was a little curious when they discovered he was a patient there after just having blown up a gas station and killing two dozen people, but when they entered the room and found the man sitting up in a wheelchair, staring off into space and drooling, Castiel couldn't help but stop Dean.<p>

"This is our archangel? He's a freaking vegetable."

"He's quite human, Castiel," Dean shook him off and rounded the man. "Archangels are the most powerful angels in Heaven. To take on a human vessel is to basically destroy them. Not many can contain them. He is obviously a strong one."

"For strong, he looks like shit," Castiel studied the poor man.

"If he weren't strong, he'd be dead," Dean opened the jug of Holy oil and poured it in a circle around the man and his chair. "This oil, when lit, creates a trap. Any angel who tries to step through the flames will die."

Castiel made a mental note to beware of the Holy oil. Dean stepped over the circle.

"I have to tap into the energy the archangel left behind in the vessel. It's almost like a direct phone line. With any luck, he will return to it."

Dean leaned into his ear and whispered an incantation. The man never even flinched, let alone noticed the struck match tossed into the oil or the circle of fire that erupted around him.

"Now what?"

"We wait," Dean watched the man closely.

After several minutes, Castiel leaned over to Dean.

"So, how long do we have to wait on hold to speak with an archangel?"

* * *

><p>They returned to the farmhouse that night, both feeling a little deflated that Raphael didn't return to his vessel. Upon entering the house, however, their deflation turned to fear.<p>

In the center of the room, lightning formed the wings of the man who sat in his chair only an hour before. Piercing blue light shone from his eyes as he looked up at them with a smile on his face.

"Diniel...Castiel," he spoke, his voice deep and menacing. "It's been quite a long time. Tell me, why did you bring me here?"

"We meant to bring you to the hospital," Castiel shrugged, " But we thought, what the Hell, let's be extra cautious," he tossed his lighter at the angel's feet and a ring of Holy fire formed around the archangel. The glass blew out of the windows while wind and rain blew into the room.

"That the best you can do? Blow out some lights and windows?"

"And the entire Eastern seaboard," he smirked as lightning cracked behind them.

"Well, look at your junk," Castiel mumbled.

"I do not have time for this, Diniel. What do you want?"

Dean swallowed. "I'm trying to find God. Where is He?"

Raphael cocked an eyebrow in amusement. "God? He's dead, Diniel."

Dean's face didn't falter. "I don't believe you."

"What other explanation could there be?" Raphael said, sounding done with the conversation. "Think of all the carnage humanity has brought to the world in the last two centuries. Do you really think God would let that happen if he were alive?"

Castiel couldn't help but think about it. He chanced a look at Dean, whose face was still set in determination, but Castiel knew he was thinking it, too.

"Now, let me out of this trap and I may let you live," he threatened. Dean studied him for a moment, then beckoned Castiel with his head as he walked toward the door.

"I'm warning you, Diniel...do not leave me here. I will find you."

A smile, one that was a little frightening to Castiel, crossed Dean's face. "That may be...but tonight, you're my bitch."

He turned and walked out into the storm. Castiel couldn't stand to leave without a parting word.

"What he said," he threw Raphael's way before following Dean to the car.

They rode in silence back to Bobby's. Castiel looked over at Dean, who was looking up toward the sky with his head resting back on the seat.

"You ok?"

Dean shrugged. "I don't know...I don't know what to think."

Castiel sighed. "Look...I don't know much about dead Gods...but dead fathers I understand. I lost the man who raised me and I've lost John...it sucks."

"Understatement," Dean said. Castiel reached over and squeezed Dean's hand.

"There were times when John would disappear for weeks. When all logic said he was dead, I knew in my heart he wasn't. Then he would come back home. Do you believe God is still alive, Dean?"

Dean swallowed hard then nodded. "Yes, I do."

Castiel pulled Dean's hand up and kissed his thumb. "Then don't give up."

As they arrived at Bobby's, Castiel saw that his Impala was parked outside.

"Sammy?" he got out, seeing Sam unloading his dufflebag from the backseat.

"Guys...we gotta talk. This is big."

Dean and Castiel exchange looks and follow him inside. Sam looks visibly shaken.

"I thought you were done hunting," Castiel sat a beer in front of Sam and he drank half of it in one go.

"I don't know what to do, man...so here's what happened. I was staying at a hotel, working as a busboy at this bar in Arizona...I had a dream about Jess."

"Who's Jess?" Dean asked.

"The girlfriend Azazel killed. Why Jess?" Castiel asked.

"Well, turns out...dude, it was Lucifer."

Castiel sat up straighter, looking shocked. "Lucifer?"

"He said...he said I'm his vessel...he's possessing some poor bastard that could explode any second but I'm his vessel. He said he has to be allowed in but I said no."

"Lucifer is an angel," Dean pointed out. "He can't just take you. Did he say anything else?"

Sam took another large gulp of his beer. "Um...yeah. Said there was going to be a huge fight, Armageddon I'm guessing...he has to fight his brother and I'm the only one who can take him on."

"Lucifer has to battle the archangel Michael, his brother, in a battle against good and evil," Dean clarified for Castiel, who looked a little lost. He knew about Armageddon, but for it all to be real was still confusing him. "Michael is the one who cast Lucifer into Hell."

"He said one day, no matter what happens...I'll say yes. He sounded so sure, but I wouldn't, Cas, I swear it-"

"Dude, calm down," Castiel placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, even using a little of his power to will him to do so. After a moment, Sam was better. "Look, I know wouldn't do it. The demon blood was one thing, but this is Endtimes... I trust you."

Sam swallowed hard. "It's really good to hear you say that...I still don't really trust myself."

Castiel sighed and pulled Ruby's demon knife out of his back pocket, setting it on the table in front of Sam. "This isn't the time to be splitting up or arguing or doubting ourselves. This is when we need to be united and ready," he looked between Dean and Sam. "I want you back in, Sam. Together, we've made a hell of a team for almost twenty years. Fuck the Apocalypse, the angels, Lucifer, and anyone else who tries to break us. I've got you, Dean, and Bobby. That's all I have and that's all you have," Sam swallowed and nodded. "We're going to make our own way and do our best to take on whatever comes our way and we're gonna do it together."

Sam gave him a small smile and held out his arm. "Bring it in."

Castiel rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and hugged his little brother. It felt odd to say little brother knowing Sam wasn't actually his brother, but it was true- they were raised together, fought together and died together more than once.

"You too, Dean, come on," Sam held out his other arm.

"Oh, I don't think-"

"Get over here," Castiel pulled him up and pulled him close. He kissed Dean's temple, the first show of affection toward Dean he had shown in front of Sam though he didn't seem to mind.

"We got this. Like I said, ol hoath, don't give up."

* * *

><p>Months later, and many strange cases in, they find themselves in another police station in cheap suits. Dean was staring at a telephone on the desk while the receptionist went to retrieve the sherrif.<p>

"Dean," Castiel whispered to him. "Put it down."

"It's an odd contraption. It has a cord. My phone doesn't have a cord."

Castiel had gotten Dean a cellphone after a while, thinking it could come in handy and be quicker than praying to him. It took him a while but he managed to pick up on it and though he was still hopeless at texting (the unsuccessful Sexting Incident of April, they referred to it as) it had proven useful.

"Agents," the sheriff entered the room and Dean slammed the phone back onto its base. Castiel and Sam stifled smiles. "Thank you for coming...though I don't know why it took three of you," he glanced between the three men.

"He's new," Sam nodded toward Dean. "On the job training."

"Aah, gotcha," he nodded. "Well, the witness is in there, though I think you may be wasting your time."

"Sir, the victim was attacked by what you believe to be an animal in his home...upstairs," Castiel said, his voice accusing. "Do you know of any animal that would break into a home and kill someone?"

The sheriff shrugged. "A really pissed off bear?"

Sam and Castiel nodded. "Can we just speak with the witness?"

The sheriff rolled his eyes and sighed. "The widower has been through a lot...she's not making much sense."

"We have to cover every base, sir," Sam smiled.

"Fine, fine, come on," he led them into the interrogation room and a middle-aged woman sat in a chair looking terrified."

"Remember," Castiel turned to Dean.

"No talking, you tell me every time," he said exasperatedly.

Castiel squeezed his hand. "You'll pick up on it soon enough. Love you."

Dean gave him a smile and nodded as they walked in and sat across from the widower.

"Good morning, mam, I'm Agent Stone, these are Agents Wood and Reynolds," Castiel indicated Dean and Sam, "we just want to ask you a few questions about your husband's attack."

"I thought he was attacked by a bear," she said nervously.

"That's what they tell us," Sam said, putting on his comforting face. "We just want to know what you saw."

The woman looked between the three then shook her head. "No, it was a bear, I'm pretty sure."

"Mam, any detail will help. Tell us what you think you saw," Dean piped up. Castiel and Sam exchanged surprised looks. Wow, Castiel thought. He's actually learning.

The woman thought for a moment, then decided she may as well. "Well...it sounds crazy...but it looked like...the Incredible Hulk?"

The three were at a loss- Castiel and Sam because it was crazy and Dean because he had no earthly idea who The Incredible Hulk was.

Castiel cleared his throat. "Bana or Norton?"

"God, no, those movies were terrible," she shook her head. "The one from the television show..."

"Lou Ferrigno?" Castiel pointed at her as if he had guessed the name in a game of charrades. Sam put his arm down.

"Yes..." the woman said, looking sullen again.

Sam thought about what he was going to say next. What do you say to something like that. "So um...was there any reason why...Lou Ferrigno...would have a grudge against your husband?"

They walked out of the police station feeling discombobulated. They entered their hotel room and Sam immediately logged on to his computer.

"What the Hell, man? So the Incredible Hulk, for whatever reason, comes crashing through some random dude's door and rips him apart? I'm still stuck on the Hulk." Castiel takes off his tie as Dean takes a seat at the table across from Sam.

"As am I...who's the Incredible Hulk?" Dean asked.

"A comic book character. He's not real, that's the puzzling part of it," Castiel sat at the last available seat at the table.

"Woah, ok, get this," Sam starts reading. "It says here that the victim was charged in quite a few domestic violence cases...he got sentenced to anger management."

Castiel couldn't help but chuckle. "Wow, that's ironic."

"Yeah...a hothead killed by TV's biggest hothead...sounds like 'just desserts', right?"

Sam and Castiel both stop and stare at each other.

"Oh hell no," Castiel groaned. "Not again."

"Not again? This Incredible Hulk has killed before?" Dean asked, totally lost.

"No...The Trickster."

Dean repeated the phrase to himself. "You mean...Loki? The Asgardian demi-god?"

"Exactly. Man, I've wanted to kill that mother since Mystery Spot. Remember, he kept killing me and killing me and killing-"

"Yes, Cas, I remember," Sam cut him off, not wanting to think about it. "At least we know how to kill a god."

"Oak stake dipped in lamb's blood to the heart," Dean answered, looking pleased he knew something.

"Good job, angel," Castiel patted his shoulder.

"I don't know, Cas," Sam said, seeming to be thinking. "What if we didn't kill him...we could trap him and talk to him...find out what side he is on and maybe he can help us take down Lucifer."

"Out of the goodness of his tricky little heart? No way."

"If he says no, then we can kill him," Sam bargained. Castiel exchanged a look with Dean.

"What do you think?"

Dean shrugged. "Do we have many options?"

"Fine, ok. But the second that bastard acts like he doesn't give a crap, we're ganking his ass. Now, let's turn on the scanner and see if we pick up anything weird."

They waited for hours, hearing traffic stops and APBs, but nothing that screamed Trickster. Then they heard it.

"Um...I don't really know how to explain what I'm seeing...just...send everyone."

Castiel and Sam exchanged looks. "Well, that was weird," Castiel stated.

They gathered their stakes and loaded the car. Dean stood next to it.

"I still don't understand why I have to stay here."

Castiel sighed and took Dean by the shoulder. "Just this once, ok? Keep the phone close and if anything goes wrong-"

"Bobby's. You sound like you're leaving a child at home alone, you know," Dean smirked. Castiel kissed his forehead.

"No words, ol hoath. Be safe."

Dean watched them drive away before sighing and heading inside.

Upon arriving at their destination, they find the warehouse the call came from completely abandoned.

"Shouldn't this place be crawling with cops?" Sam looked around for any sign of life.

"Weird, man," Castiel pulled a stake out of the back and handed it to Sam before locking it up and heading inside.

Opening the door, they found themselves in a hospital. Patients sat in wheelchairs out in the hall, nurses bustled around attending to them and doctors stood with stethoscopes and clipboards taking notes and speaking to one another.

"Cas...what the hell?" Sam looked down and noticed he and Cas were both dressed as doctors.

"Seriously, what the hell?" Castiel dug in his pockets for his knives, phone or any weapon but found none. They were unarmed in some random ass hospital. Castiel opened the door they came in from but found nothing but a couple getting hot and heavy in a supply closet.

They started walking, looking for any trace of anything weird aside from the fact they were in a hospital, but found nothing.

Sam was suddenly slapped across the face.

"Ow, what the-"

"Seriously? As if you don't know. You are a brilliant coward," she said dramatically before walking off. Sam looked stunned, but Castiel was staring off after the woman.

"What?"

"That's Dr. Picallo," he said in wonder. "Dr. Erin Picallo, the sexy, yet earnest doctor at...Seattle," he looked around and saw the sign above the nurse's station. "Seattle Mercy Hospital!"

"Um...how do you know that?"

"The doctor get-ups, the nurses, the dramatic storm off, the 'seriously'...it makes so much sense."

Sam was getting frustrated. "Cas, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Dr. Sexy, M.D.," he looked at Sam as though he was delusional.

Sam rolled his eyes. "You mean that stupid drama you watch and say you're just "channel surfing"?" Sam used air quotes.

"Shut up," Castiel waved him off and looked around, "That's Johnny Drake...he's not even alive. He's a ghost in the mind of the sexy, yet neurotic doctor over there," he pointed to the doctor sitting next to a man who looked sullen.

"This show has ghosts? Why?"

"It is compelling," Castiel shrugged and looked up. "Oh my god."

Sam looked up and saw a man walking toward them, hands stuffed in his lab jacket.

"It's Dr. Sexy," he said, seeming to be trying to hide excitement.

"Though you weren't a fan," Sam scoffed.

"It's a guilty pleasure, Sam," he stated simply as the doctor approached them.

"Doctor," he greeted Castiel.

Castiel cleared his throat. "Doctor." Sam stared at the floor until Castiel stomped his foot.

With gritted teeth, Sam rolled his eyes. "Doctor."

"I heard you gave the axe on that face transplant. This is my hospital, Doctor. Nothing happens here without my consent."

Castiel glanced down and noticed something a little off. He immediately jumped into action, slamming Dr. Sexy against the wall.

"Woah, Cas, what-"

"If I remember correctly, the thing that makes Dr. Sexy sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots, not tennis shoes," he growled in the man's face.

"Wow, Cas-"

"Guilty pleasure," he threw back at Sam before the doctor smiled and transformed.

"You guys are getting better!" The trickster laughed and shoved Castiel off of him.

"Ok, what the hell is going on here?"

"Welcome to my own little television studio," he presented it with his hands widely. "Got my own sets, my own actors...my own little idiot box."

"Look, we just want to talk to you," Sam held up his hands. The trickster gave him a smile.

"Oh, I know...let me guess...you two idiots broke the world and you want me to clean up your mess?"

"Just hear us out, would ya?" Castiel was getting frustrated.

The trickster seemed to think it over. "How about this...you survive 24 hours...then maybe we can talk."

"Survive?" Sam sounded apprehensive.

"The game," he said, obviously.

Castiel sighed. "What game?"

The trickster gave him a smirk. "You're in it, bucko."

With a snap, he was gone. The world moved around them.

"That son of a bitch," Castiel growled. They headed down the hall, trying to find a way out of this drama show they were in when Dr. Picallo approached Sam again, hand raised. This time, Sam ducked.

"You are a brilliant-"

"Coward, yeah, listen lady, I'm not a doctor. None of this is real," he indicated around him. She gave him a sad, soulful look.

"I know you may think so after that little boy died on your operating table, but you are the best neurovascular surgeon and a brilliant coward."

She reached up and kissed him full on the mouth. Castiel was eating it up like, dare he say it, a bad television show. Sam pushed her back and she stormed off again.

"We gotta get out of here," Sam cringed and a man stopped them.

"You," he spoke to Castiel, "My wife needs that face transplant..."

"I'm not a doctor," Castiel spelled it out for him. "None of this is real, ok?"

They turned and walked off then they heard a gunshot.

Castiel gripped Sam's shoulder and Sam looked behind him to see blood seeping through his white coat.

"It's real, Sam...it's very real," he hit his knees and fought to breathe.

"Help! We need a doctor!" Sam called, several came running to his aid and threw Castiel onto a gurney.

"You have to head for the scrub station, stat," one of the nurses said to him.

"Me? No, I-"

She dragged him into the scrub station and prepped him for surgery. He stood over Castiel, who was grimacing in pain.

"Dude, you gotta do something."

"I don't know how to use this crap," he whispered loudly.

"Figure something out, I'm dying here."

Sam let out a sigh. "Um ok...I need a pen knife, dental floss and a bottle of whiskey," he looked around at the nurses who were staring at him, confused.

"Stat!" he added for effect and they all clamored to fill the order.

After many long moments of tedious cutting and sewing with dental floss, the hole was patched.

"Vital signs are stabilizing. Well done, Doctor," a nurse announced to him. Castiel and Sam both let out a sigh of relief. There was a sound like beating drums and a crowd, then suddenly they were standing, legs spread apart in the strange boot contraptions in front of an audience.

"Dude, what?"

"Nutcrackeeeeeeeer!" A game show host appeared out of nowhere. Castiel noticed that between each of their legs was a large lever-looking contraption. Were it to come up, it would strike right in the groin.

"Oh shit," he muttered.

"Sam Winchester," the host walked over to him, holding a card. He started speaking Japanese and a clock started counting down.

"Dude, what do I do? I don't speak Japanese!" Sam asked frantically.

"I don't know, but this is gonna suck," Castiel eyed the contraption between Sam's legs. The buzzer rang and the host sighed.

"Sorry, Sam Winchester," he looked up.

"Sorry?"

"Nutcrackeeeeeeeeeer!" The contraption came up and Castiel had to look away as it came into contact with Sam's privates, making him double over and scream out in pain.

"Shit, Sam, you ok?"

"No," he gritted out.

There was a banging behind them and the spot light came up at the door.

"Now what?" Castiel groaned, covering his own privates just to be safe. The door opened and Dean ran in.

"Dean!?"

"Please don't be another trick," Sam gathered himself, still favoring his balls.

"No... um what are you doing here?"

"Us? What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. You've been gone for days!" Dean looked a little relieved to see they were still alive.

Castiel fought with his leg restraints. "Can you get us out of here?"

Dean made to move forward, then disappeared.

"No, no...Trickster does not like pretty boy angels," the game show host. Castiel looked around, but found no more trace of his angel.

"Castiel," he approached Castiel and read off the card in Japanese.

"Dude, I don't know what you're saying," Castiel said to the host, who ignored him.

"Play the game, Cas! I played a doctor and we got out, so you have to answer the question to get out of here."

"In Japanese!?"

"Yes," Sam urged. Just as the clock was running out, Castiel pushed the buzzer. The host looked at him, surprised.

In Japanese, he stated, "The answer is...yes?"

The host looked between them, then down at his card.

"Congratulations, Castiel, Nutcracker champion!"

With a sigh of relief, Castiel felt his body unclench from fear of being struck in the balls.

After a herpes commercial that was thoroughly uncomfortable, they ended up in a sitcom, which was even more uncomfortable.

"How long do we have to do this?" Castiel asked Sam quietly, the fake audience laughing.

"I don't know, forever?" he responded. "We might die in here." Another fake laugh.

"What is funny about that? Vultures," Castiel chastised them. The door opened and Dean stumbled in, beaten and bleeding.

"Dean-"

"I don't have much time. This thing is much more powerful than it should be," he gasped.

"You mean the trickster?" Sam asked.

Dean shook his head. "If it even is a trickster-"

He was cut off as he flew backward and slammed hard into the wall. The trickster appeared at the door, looking over at Dean.

"Bye-bye, Diniel," he smiled and clicked his fingers.

"Where did you send him?" Castiel charged him, but Sam stopped him.

"Oh relax, your boyfriend will be fine...maybe," he shrugged. The fake audience laughed again.

"I'm so over this," Castiel growled. "We get it- play our roles, right?"

The trickster nodded, "Well...that's half of it."

Sam rolled his eyes. "What's the other half?"

"Play your roles," he wiggled his fingers, "out there."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Castiel was getting tired of the back and forth.

"You knoooow, Castiel, staring as the angel of God who is to lead the other angels in the absence of his Father, Sam as Lucifer and...well, I won't give away any spoilers," he chuckled. "You'll find out soon enough."

Castiel studied him closely, then asked. "Heaven or Hell, which would it be?"

The trickster scoffed. "I don't care."

"If you had to pull ankle for Michael or Lucifer-"

"Look, you arrogant dick," he dropped the facade for a moment. "I don't work for either of those SOBs."

Castiel shook his head. "Oh, you're somebody's bitch."

In a flash, he was against the wall, The Trickster's hand around his throat.

"Don't ever presume to know what I am." He dropped Castiel and straightened up. "Now, here's how it's gonna work, you two are gonna suck it up and play the roles that destiny has chosen for you."

"Or?" Sam asked bravely. Castiel threw him a dirty look.

The trickster turned to Sam and smiled. "Or you'll stay here in TV land...forever."

They were then in a park at night, wearing the same cheap suits they would normally wear when investigating a case and matching sunglasses.

"That son of a bitch," Castiel said loudly.

"Ok, just calm down," Sam took off his glasses.

"Calm down!? I'm wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that!? No-talent douchebags! Man, this sucks. I hate what he did to Dean and I hate that he put us in a procedural cop show because I hate procedural cop shows! 'Well, it seems a plane has crashed here' shut up!"

Sam grabbed his shoulders. "Look, to get out of here we have to play along. Check out sweet tooth over there," he pointed at a guy kneeling by the body with a sucker in his mouth. "We just gotta get close enough to kill him. Just...follow my lead," he slipped the glasses back on and, with an eye-roll, Castiel did the same.

They walked dramatically up to the body and whipped off their sunglasses in unison.

"So," Sam said in a husky voice that made Castiel cringe. "Whadda we got?"

The forensics guy next to the body sucking on a sucker popped it out of his mouth and grabbed a stick. "Well, it looks like the vic was stabbed several times in the abdomen. What's weird is that he also has a roll of quarters shoved down his throat."

"Well I say," Sam slid his sunglasses back on. "Jackpot."

The forensics guy laughed. "Good one."

"Well I say," Castiel mimicked the voice in a deeper tone and slid his own glasses on. "No guts, no glory."

The forensics guy laughed again.

"Get that guy a...tums," Sam said dramatically. The man was cackling at this point. Castiel slipped away and found a stake, conveniently lying on the ground soaked in blood.

"Man, you guys are hilarious," he shook his head.

"Hey, douchebag," Castiel called to him from behind and he stood up. Castiel stabbed him through the chest with the stake, the man's eyes going wide and blood pouring out of his mouth as he fell to the ground. Sam and Castiel exchanged looks until they heard laughter behind them.

"You got the wrong guy, idiots," the large officer in the background transformed into the Trickster.

"Look, we get it, ok? Just get us out of here!" Castiel tossed his glasses to the ground, frustrated with the whole thing. The trickster dropped his head.

"Ok, ok, fine...I was getting bored anyway," the trickster raised his hand and snapped.

Castiel stepped into his hotel room, feeling relieved when he saw it was normal and exactly the way they left it.

"Finally. Sam, we gotta find Dean," he was answered with silence. He looked around to see that Sam was not with him.

"Ah, shit," he dug around and found his phone back in his pocket and headed toward the car.

"Sam," he left a message, "it's me. Call me back." He climbed into the car and cursed. "Damnit, Sam, where are you?"

"Cas?"

Castiel jumped and looked around. "Sammy? Where are you?"

"I don't know...it's dark."

Castiel looked down at the dash and noticed something.

"Say something," he asked.

"I feel weird," he stated and the dash lit up with each vibration of his voice. Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Damnit. Dude, you're Kit from Knight Rider."

"Shit...that sucks," Sam replied. "Now what?"

"Well...Dean said this thing was too powerful to be a trickster...and did you see the way he looked at Dean? Like he knew him? I have a theory. Hold on tight, man."

He drove the Sam car to a park outside of town and got out.

"Ow, don't slam the door," Sam griped. Castiel opened the trunk and dug around for what he was looking for and set his trap.

"Cas...that' s really uncomfortable," Sam said as Castiel replaced something then slammed the trunk.

"Alright, you son of a bitch! You win!"

"You think this will work?" Sam asked. About that time, the Trickster walked up, admiring his handy work.

"Wow, Sam, check out the rims on you."

"Eat me," Sam stated, voice deadpanned.

The trickster made an 'ooo' face and crossed his arms. "Ready to talk?"

"I'm not saying anything until Sam has thumbs," he pointed back at the car.

"Why not leave him? Satan's gonna ride his ass one way or another," he smirked. Castiel rolled his eyes and gave him a threatening look. The trickster rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. Sam stepped out of the car, flustered, but intact.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"Why didn't the stake kill you?"

The Trickster shrugged. "I am the trickster."

Castiel chuckled. "You know? I don't think you are"

Castiel lit a match and tossed it at the trickster's feet, lighting a ring of holy fire around him. "Maybe you've always been an angel."

"An angel!?" he laughed out loud. "Somebody slip a mickey in your milkshake, kid?"

Castiel shrugged. "Fine...just take a step out of that Holy fire and we'll call it even."

The trickster scoffed, looked down at the holy fire and the park disappeared around them, bringing them to the warehouse. The trickster gave them a slow, unenthusiastic clap.

"Well...you got me. Where did I slip up?"

"You didn't...but no one gets the slip on Dean. Also, the way you reacted when I mentioned Michael and Lucifer...no one gets that pissed off unless someone's talking about their family."

The trickster glared at them, knowing he was caught.

"So, which one are you? Dopey, Sneezey or Douchey?" Sam crossed his arms.

The trickster looked up, defeated. "Gabriel...they call me Gabriel, ok?"

"Gabriel...the archangel?" Castiel felt his insides churn. Not another one.

"How does an archangel become a trickster?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Call it my own personal witness protection program. I hauled ass after Lucifer went down, changed my face and carved out a small slice of my own paradise then you idiots came in a screwed it all up."

"I'm sure Daddy loved it when you ran off and became a pagan," Castiel spat.

"Daddy doesn't say anything about anything," Gabriel smarted back.

"Guess I can't blame you. Your brothers are grade-A assholes."

Gabriel fixed Castiel with a deadly glare. "You shut your mouth. I loved my family, but watching them turn on each other, casting each other out? I couldn't bear it. Now, it's happening all over."

"Then help us stop it," Sam stepped forward, putting on his negotiation face.

"Don't you get it? It can't be stopped," he said it slowly so they could understand him.

"You'd see the end of the world!?" Castiel said, unbelieving.

"I want the fighting to end," he shook his head. "This isn't about a war or the end of the world, this is about two brothers who loved each other, then betrayed each other. Sam was chosen for this for a reason, idiots. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Play. Your. Role. And Castiel? You don't even know what is in store for you, do you? You're right. God has checked out on this one. He's done leading a group of rebels into an army. It's your turn to step up. You are the prince of the Seventh Realm, kid. The highest order of angels is under your command and you're down here getting your rocks off with your boyfriend!"

Castiel stared at him, angry and confused. "What the fuck are you saying?"

"You are destined to be the new God, Castiel. Step up and take responsibility before this battle ends and Heaven goes to shit," he placed his hands in his pockets. "Or, stay down here and keep drilling your little boy toy until we all burn."

Castiel stepped forward to sock Gabriel in the face, but Sam grabbed him before he stepped over the flames and burned.

"Touchy, touchy...So, boys, are we just gonna stand here and yammer at each other for eternity?"

"No...first, you're bringing Diniel back," Castiel stated, voice shaking.

"Oh, am I?"

Sam picked up the jug of Holy oil. "Well, we could just dunk your ass in Holy oil and deep-fry an archangel. You choose."

With a sigh, Gabriel snapped his fingers and Dean appeared next to Castiel, trying to stand. Castiel caught him.

"You alright?" he asked. Dean looked up through blood trailing down his eye and nodded.

"Hey Dino...how's the search for Dad going? I'm guessing not so good," he feigned concern.

"Let's get out of here," Castiel helped Dean wrap an arm around his shoulders and Sam went to get the door.

"What, you're just gonna leave me here?" Gabriel called after them, sounding a little nervous about the thought.

Castiel stopped then turned. "No. Know why? Cuz we don't fuck with people like you do. And this whole Armageddon thing? It's not some stupid prize fight. It's you being too chickenshit to stand up to your own family."

Castiel takes the butt of his gun and breaks the fire alarm, pulling the lever and causing the sprinklers overhead to engage. The fire around Gabriel started to slowly burn out.

"Don't say I never did anything for ya," he called back then helped Dean out of the building and into the car.

They got in and drove back to the hotel quickly. Once inside, Castiel placed a hand over Dean's face and healed his wounds.

Dean looked at him, surprised. "You've been practicing."

"Well, I figured it couldn't hurt," he shrugged and pulled Dean into a hug. "I was worried about you."

"You two were gone for days. I started to get worried when you didn't answer my calls."

"Thanks, Dean," Sam clapped his shoulder. "I think we'd still be there if you hadn't come and warned us about him."

Exhausted, Dean and Castiel moved to their room next to Sam's and Castiel took a beer out of the fridge.

"Dean? Can I ask you a question?"

"That was a question," Dean said simply as he took off his boots.

"Seriously," he sat down at the table. Dean looked up and nodded.

"Something Gabriel told me...something about taking over the Seventh Realm or something...what is that?"

Dean inhaled, looking a little nervous. "Oh...that."

"Yes, that. You know?!"

"It's mostly legend...an angel of bravery and skill will stand in God's place when God steps down. Many believe it will be Raphael, but the less popular opinion is that it is you."

"But we don't know that God has stepped down, right?"

Dean looked more troubled. "We don't, but, Castiel," he walked over and sat with him at the table. "It was said that when the time came, the angel would know."

Castiel sat back in his chair and rubbed his face. "Shit, this is all so ridiculous."

"Not so ridiculous," Dean shrugged. "You could easily lead the angels."

"Once, maybe," he put his beer down and stood up, placing his hands linked on top of his head. "You said it yourself, Dean, I'm not the same angel I was before...apparently I was some brave commander. Now, I'm just a human with superpowers."

Dean let out a small laugh. Castiel looked at him.

"What's so funny?"

Dean smiled and shook his head. "You have so little faith in yourself, Castiel. The way you spoke to Gabriel today...without the colorful language, of course...it was the way you would speak before battle. Conviction was second nature to you. Thousands followed you into battle because of it and won. You could do it."

Castiel locked eyes with Dean. "What if I don't want to?"

Dean, who would have normally said something like 'you have to' or 'it's not a choice', shrugged his shoulders.

"Then you don't have to, I suppose. If you can avoid the angels, you may never have to."

Castiel walked over and pulled Dean up from the chair to wrap him up in his arms. Dean didn't protest and rubbed his back comfortingly.

"This is getting insane."

"It will only get worse. This is only the beginning of the end, I'm afraid. Much more to come."


	12. Famine

**OOOOOOOOOOOLA!**

**So so so so so excited to announce I will be attending a con next year! either Dallas, Chicago, or Houston. Haven't decided yet. I'm pumped! I'm getting pretty close to the end of this story, but in posting it I'm only about half way. MAY do a sequel. Not sure yet. MUST have feedback. **

**Here's their encounter with Famine. Dean loves cheeseburgers and sex...just sayin.**

* * *

><p>Sam and Castiel walk out of a home in Sioux Falls, puzzled as hell.<p>

"Ok...so these two love birds go on a date...then come home to have sex...then eat each other?" Sam cringes as he says it. "This is definitely our thing."

"Well, there's no hex bags or EMF, no sulfur...I don't know, man, maybe they were just psycho on PCP or something."

Sam shook his head. "Something stinks about this. And last night, some guy is working late and his girlfriend shows up and they commit suicide. Maybe the coroner will have something for us."

When they pulled the only intact piece of the first victims from the freezer- the hearts- they study them. Castiel glanced up at Sam and slid his across the table.

"Hey...be my valentine?"

Sam fixed him with a bitch glare. "Dean will get jealous, player."

Castiel rolled his eyes and turned the heart over with a Q-tip.

"Hey, check this out," he slid it back over to Sam and pointed at the heart.

Sam looked baffled. "What is that, a mark?"

"I think it's Enochian...hold on," Castiel pulled out his phone and pressed speed dial 1.

"Hey, Dean, it's me. Look, we've got something weird over here, could you come check it out?"

He looked up and Dean was there, phone to his ear.

"I'm here."

Castiel smirked. "I see...you can hang up now."

Dean blushed and hung up the phone. "What is it?"

Castiel slid the box over to him and Dean picked the heart up barehanded, turning it over in his hands.

"Hope you wash those, Hannibal," Castiel cringed and Sam chuckled.

"It's Enochian...a mark of union."

"Ha, told you it was Enochian," Castiel poked Sam's bicep.

"I'll give you a cookie later. Why is there an Enochian mark on her heart?"

Dean placed it back and shook the blood off his hands. "When humans are destined to mate, they receive matching marks on their hearts. When the time comes, they find each other and the union is made."

"So, the angels chose these two to mate?"

Dean let out an exasperated sigh. "Not really angels...well, they're angels but in a lower order- cherubs. Humans refer to them as Cupid."

"The little fat kid with the diaper?" Castiel cocked his brow.

"Cherubs aren't incontinent, Castiel," he said plainly. "Cherubs mark certain humans so certain bloodlines will form. It's rudimentary but important."

Castiel nodded. "So, we just gotta find this rogue Cupid and take him out."

It was the day before Valentine's Day and the bar they found was full of lonely men and woman and a sparse number of couples. Castiel, Dean and Sam sat in the back at a booth, waiting on food.

"You sure he'll be here?" Sam asked Dean.

"This is exactly the kind of place a cherub would come to pollinate," Dean said as he watched a waitress walk by with a plate of barbecue fries. Their food arrived and Sam started eating his salad, but Castiel pushed his burger away.

"Wait...you're not hungry?" Sam jested at him.

Castiel shrugged. "Guess not."

"So you're not going to eat that?" Dean asked him. Castiel gave Dean a confused look before shaking his head.

Dean took the plate and took a bite. Across the way, a breeze caught the tacky decorations on the ceiling and blew past a couple.

"There," Dean swallowed his food. "Meet me in the back."

He disappeared and Castiel and Sam exchanged strange looks as the each glanced at the burger Dean had been eating, then followed Dean to the back.

He was standing with his arm extended. "I have him. He's not going anywhere."

At that moment, Castiel felt a pair of large arms wrap around him.

"Well, hello there, handsome," a voice behind him said cheerfully.

"Oh, god, is this a fight?" Castiel asked, lungs slightly compromised. "Are we in a fight?"

"This is how they say hello," Dean looked a little unnerved.

"I don't like it," Castiel groaned as the cupid put him down and moved on to Sam.

"No one likes it," Dean pulled Castiel back toward him. Sam was finally released and the cherub turned and let out a happy sigh.

"Now, what can I do for you, brothers?" he looked between Dean and Castiel.

"Your targets are killing each other. Whatever you're doing, you need to stop," Dean said forcefully. The cherub looked as if he would cry, then pulled Dean into a tight hug.

"I don't know what's happening, brother. I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do- running my assigned route. I just...I love love, you know?"

Dean worked his arms free and got away from the cherub. "You aren't killing people?"

"Of course not, silly," he laughed then dramatically held up his hands. "Read my mind, brother...I'm telling the truth."

Dean, looking as if he would rather be doing anything else, obliged, staring into the cherub's eyes and reading his mind.

He stepped back and sighed. "He's telling the truth."

The cherub let out a loud sigh. "Jiminy Christmas, thank you! I just want to do my job! I make families happen. Like yours, Sam. The union of John and Mary Winchester was a HUGE deal."

"You fixed up my parents?" Sam asked.

"Well, not ME, but...yeah. You and Dean had to be born. It was destiny."

"They're dead," Sam interjected and the cherub shrugged.

"I plant the seed, I don't water the garden...so, can I go,or-"

"Yes, please," Dean said quickly and the cherub disappeared. "They are exhausting."

"I'll say. So, if it isn't the angels," Sam lamented. "Then what's killing these people?"

* * *

><p>After another suicide and several overdoses and arrests for robbery in a span of a few days, Sam and Castiel are still stumped. Sam had been looking a little off since they got into town. He told Castiel he was just feeling a little sick, but it got worse every day. Sam refused to tell Castiel that he was starting to thirst for demon blood.<p>

Sam also started to notice something off about the morgue they went to every day. A bald man carrying a brief case was there every day. The weird part was that Sam could hear the man's blood rushing through his veins. As his hunger got worse, he began following the man, feeling a pull toward him like he had before when Ruby was bringing him demons to slaughter for blood. He rounded the corner and waited for the man and when he felt him near, he struck, taking the demon knife and slicing at him, cutting his arm. The man's eyes went black and Sam scooped up the brief case as the demon ran off in the other direction. Sam's blood pulsed hard as he stared down at the knife. It was right there and no one was around to see...

He shook his head and wiped the knife off on a dirty newspaper before making his way back to the hotel.

"What is it?" Castiel asked as Sam set the briefcase on the table.

"I don't know, but I kept noticing him walk out with it every day...he was a demon, Cas, something has to be in here they want."

Castiel nodded and knelt down to look at the combination on the case. With a 'are you kidding me?' chuckle, he worked the case open and the lid shot back, revealing a blinding white light that receded then disappeared.

"What the hell was that?" Sam asked, looking around the case.

"A human soul," Dean's voice came from behind him. He stood between the beds holding a bag of Krystal burgers, one in his free hand.

"Why are you eating? You don't eat," Castiel stared at the bag. Dean pointed at him with his half-eaten burger.

"Exactly. My hunger is a clue."

"Clue to what?" Sam asked.

"I believe I know what's going on here. This town is being touched by Famine."

Sam and Castiel looked at each other. "Another Horseman," Castiel groaned.

"Wait...I thought famine meant like hunger...like food," Sam sat down at the table.

"Everyone has hunger for something...money, drugs, sex...then famine comes in and makes them rabid for it," he took another bite of his burger.

"That explains your binge eating?" Castiel plucked the burger from Dean's hand. Dean reached in the bag and opened another.

"I'm afraid your brother has an affinity for red meat," Dean said to Sam.

"Great. So what's with the Soul in the Box?" Castiel nodded toward the briefcase.

"Famine feeds on human souls. He has them harvested to keep him sated. Lucifer wants him ready to march across the land."

Castiel shook his head and looked up at Sam, who looked even worse for the wear.

"Sammy?"

Sam blinked, eyes bloodshot and dark. "I'm fine...just gonna go use the bathroom."

When the door shut, Dean opened another burger and took a bite.

"Jeez, how many have you had?"

"77," Dean took another bite then held it up to Castiel. "Want one?"

Castiel laughed and shook his head. "No thanks, Hamburgler. Don't have a coronary on me or anything."

Dean looked confused, but shrugged and continued on with his burger.

"How the hell do we stop this one?" Castiel leaned back on the bed, throwing his arms over his head. Dean stopped eating his burger mid-bite, eyes fixed on where Castiel's shirt was raised up, showing off his hip bone and the deep V that disappeared beneath his jeans.

"Hey, stop objectifying me," Castiel swatted Dean's foot, pulling his gaze away.

"Um...well, how did you stop the last horseman?"

"Cut off his ring."

Dean nodded. "Famine has a ring. They all do. Just do that," he opened the bag and noticed the burgers were gone. "That's unfortunate."

Castiel sat up and grabbed the bag and threw it in the trash. He turned and saw Dean had been staring at his ass when he bent over.

"Really? That,too?"

"You're aesthetically pleasing," Dean shrugged. "Dean likes aesthetically pleasing."

Castiel scoffed and smiled. "Yeah, I love you, too."

Sam walked out of the bathroom, staggering. "Guys...I can't go."

Castiel stepped toward him. "Sam, you ok?"

"No...Cas, I'm hungry for it."

Castiel thought for a second then figured it out. "Demon blood?"

"You can't let me near them, Cas. You gotta lock me down good."

Castiel sighed and nodded. "Ok, fine." He went out to the car and grabbed a couple pairs of handcuffs from the back and took them in the bathroom. Sam sat on the floor looking sick as Castiel cuffed him to the pipes of the sink.

"Ok...we'll be back soon. Hang in there, ok?" Castiel said with concern. He had never seen Sam this bad before. Sam nodded weakly and Castiel walked out and closed the door. He looked over at the drawers and stood on the other side. He pushed them with little effort in front of the door and walked out to the car, Dean in tow.

Dean blipped out when they pulled up at the coroner's office. Castiel sat and waited for what felt like hours for this bald demon to show his face with a briefcase to lead them to Famine. The rustling of paper made Castiel jump, but to see it was just Dean with another bag of burgers made him roll his eyes.

"Seriously, you're gonna get fat."

"I have a very high metabolism," he said through a mouth full of burger. "What I don't understand is...everyone at some point has been touched by famine, yet you seem unaffected. Why's that?"

Castiel shrugged. "When I want food, I get it. When I want sex, I get sex. Same for a fight or a beer."

"You're saying you're well-adjusted?"

Castiel shook his head. "Nah, just well-fed," he winked. Castiel could see Dean was fighting the urge to throw down the bag and let Castiel fuck him senseless in the parking lot of a morgue, but he shook his head and continued eating.

"How many is that now?"

"Lost count...it's in the low hundreds."

Castiel laughed and looked up, seeing the man of the hour stepping into a large black SUV.

"There's our man," he threw the car into drive and followed him to a restaurant called Biggerson's just outside of town.

"Ok, happy meal, remember the plan?"

Dean looked sadly at his empty bag, but nodded.

"Which is...?" Castiel prodded. Dean sighed and took the knife Castiel held up for him.

"I go in, cut off the ring, and come back."

"There's my angel," he clapped his thigh. The hold on the knife caused his knuckles to white out until Castiel realized and moved his hand. "Just go."

Dean disappeared and Castiel waited. Five minutes went by...then ten. Finally, Castiel decided it was taking too long and went in himself through the back. It was disgusting in there. Cooks lay over in boiling hot water, bodies of restaurant goers were scattered across the room. One moving body caught his eye and he felt his stomach drop.

"Damnit, Dean," he mumbled to himself. A plate of raw ground chuck lay on the floor in front of him as he placed handfuls of it in his mouth.

"Castiel," a voice called to him. It sounded ancient and frail. "Come in."

He centered himself and stepped around the corner to the front of the restaurant. Famine sat in a large electric wheel chair, his oxygen cannula strapped to his nose.

"So long I've waited for this day...when Lucifer would rise and I would be fed to bursting," he smiled with his yellow teeth. Two demons drag Castiel by the arms toward Famine and he takes him in.

"America- you people are all so fat and greedy. Nothing satisfies you."

"What did you do to Dean?" he asked angrily.

"Oh...your pet?" he cast a glance back at Dean. The knife was lying about a foot from him. "You sick your dog on me? I threw him a steak." He chuckled.

"Yeah? Well, I hate to break it to you, but your mojo doesn't work on me."

"Yes...I noticed," he reached a bony hand up. Castiel tried to worm away, but Famine placed his hand on Castiel's chest.

"Oh, angel...and human? No...raised by humans. A fallen angel cast to Earth...oh, but the human in you...that's a whole lot of nothing you've got there, young man."

He released Castiel, who felt an odd emptiness in him all of a sudden. "I see how broken you are in there. You try so hard for your dear Diniel and your best friend to be strong...destiny has so much in store for you, Castiel...but you don't even believe in yourself enough to take charge...you aren't hungry because you are already dead inside."

Castiel tried to power up, but his hope was crushed under the weight of Famine's words. The door flew open and Sam stood, blood dripping from his mouth like a rabid wolf.

"Sam," Castiel tried to get away.

"Don't lay a hand on this sweet boy," Famine ordered as his demons moved to grab him. "Sam...I see you got my gift. That is the thing about you, Sam...you can have all the blood you want and still be able to drink more...you never get full. Please, have more," he indicated the demons surrounding them. Castiel pleaded with Sam with his eyes, but Sam closed his eyes and the six demons dropped like flies.

"No," he said simply. Famine sat back in his seat.

"Fine...I'll have them, then," he opened his mouth and the six demons' souls flew into his mouth. Castiel took a step back away from Famine and Sam. Famine closed his mouth and hummed. Sam raised his hand to direct his power to the Horseman, but the old man just laughs.

"Silly boy...I'm a horseman...you have no power over me..."

"No...but I have power over them," he looked down at this stomach, where the souls of the demons rested, and suddenly, Famine started to choke. The souls writhed inside him like snakes and Sam, after draining himself to the point where blood is dripping from his nose, destroyed Famine.

As if snapping out of a trance, Dean looked around, seeing Sam standing at the door with blood on his face and clothes and Castiel staring at him in shock.

* * *

><p>Sam's screams rang through Bobby's house as he beat on the door of the panic room in Bobby's basement. Bobby left about an hour in, saying he needed a break, and Castiel stared out the window, a bottle of whiskey in his hand that was half gone. Dean walked into the living room and wrapped his arms loosely around Castiel's waist.<p>

"He just has to get it out of his system, Castiel," he rested his cheek on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel almost said something in reply, but a tightness in his throat stopped him. After a moment, he turned and kissed Dean's temple.

"I'm gonna take a walk, ok?"

Dean nodded and kissed his cheek. Once outside, Castiel walked through the junk yard and, with a silent apology to Dean, cut off his connection to Dean in his mind. Dean didn't need to hear him weak.

Castiel dropped to his knees behind an old truck. Everything was too much. He had broken before but what Famine said was right- since he came back from Hell with the memories of what he had done there he had been dead. He didn't even know where to start thinking with this whole 'destiny' thing and now Sam... He looked up at the sky.

"God, if you're up there...you've got to stop this...or at least tell me what the Hell I'm supposed to do? I'm supposed to be some leader but I can't even keep myself together...please, just tell me what to do."

His voice broke and he buried his head in his hands. No answer came. God wasn't listening.

* * *

><p>A month went by. Sam finally was released a week after being locked in the panic room, dried out an apologetic. Castiel didn't want to say another word about it, so they didn't.<p>

They are in a hotel working on a case when a knock at the door startled them and Dean entered the room.

"Dude, you knocked," Sam pointed out.

"I'm aware. I've been cut off, Castiel," Dean looked at him. "I had to take a bus. I don't know what's going on..."

"I think I have an idea," a voice behind them made them jump. A man in a suit with a smug grin on his face stood with his hands clasped in the front. "Castiel...my god, you look terrible."

"Who the hell are you?" he furrowed his brow.

"Zachariah? What's the meaning of all this?" Dean asked, stepping forward.

"Easy, tiger," he held his hands up. "Don't want you...just your vessel," he snapped his fingers and a light flashed in Dean's eyes. He looked around momentarily, confused.

"Hello, Dean Winchester," Zachariah held out a hand for him to shake. "My name is Zachariah. I knew I would find you with Bonnie and Clyde," he nodded toward Sam and Castiel.

"What did you do with Diniel?" Dean asked.

"Oh, he's just sleeping in your noggin. I really wanted to meet you. You are a very important person to me."

"Woah, I thank you for the compliment, but I don't swing that way," Dean smarted off. Castiel would have laughed if Zachariah hadn't just popped into the room unannounced.

"Not from what I'm hearing," he glanced between Dean and Castiel. "Any old how, I came to deliver the good news. We have finally found the Michael sword."

After getting no reaction, he sighed. "Our sweet Diniel never told you about the Michael sword."

"Seems to be a lot of things our sweet Diniel hasn't told us," Castiel stepped forward. "What the hell is a Michael sword?"

"Michael's weapon in the final battle. Something he desperately needs to face off against Lucifer...you've had it with you all along."

"Stop with the fucking riddles and get to it," Sam blurted out.

"Sorry, fiesty. So ironic...the vessel of Lucifer and the vessel of Michael...all under one roof..."

"Vessel? There are no other vessels here except-"

"Ding, ding! And the angel who couldn't hack it as an angel wins!" he said enthusiastically to Castiel. "Why do you really think Diniel chose Dean as his vessel? It was all part of a grand plan...he doesn't know that, per say, but it was to keep Dean away from us...oh, but we found our ways," he smiled at Dean and clapped his shoulders. "My boy, you have so much more going for you than being a sperm dumpster for some rebel angel."

Castiel's body put off electricity that shook the room. Zachariah cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Touched a nerve, did I?"

"Get out," Castiel said threateningly. Dean shrugged Zachariah's hands from his shoulders and stepped back.

"I know how this works...you need my consent. Michael can't wear my skin if I say no...well, I say no."

Zachariah laughed out loud. "You would rather be some angel's butt buddy than rise to glory?"

Dean shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a sentimentalist. You heard the rebel angel. Go."

Zachariah looked between all of them then raised his hands in surrender. "Ok...for now, I'll take my leave. This is your destiny, Dean...don't think I won't be back. Like I said...I have my ways. You won't be riding with that angel forever."

He snapped his fingers and Dean's eyes flashed again, bringing Diniel back to the front. Zachariah had vanished.

"Cas, calm down, man," Sam urged him and after a moment, Castiel took a deep breath and stilled his shaking hands, the energy around him dying down.

"What just happened?" Dean rubbed his head.

"Apparently you stole Michael's vessel and the angels are pissed," Sam led him over to the bed and he sat shakily on it. Castiel walked over and cupped his cheek, healing him quickly. Dean sighed.

"I'm still cut off. I'm sure this is their way of keeping me grounded. I had no idea-"

"Zachariah said as much," Castiel sat next to him. "You're on surveillance from now on."

"It makes sense though, doesn't it?" Sam finally spoke up. Dean and Castiel looked up at him.

"You know, two brothers fighting it out? Maybe that's what all the destiny talk is all about."

"Well, if that's the case, all Dean has to do is keep saying no, right?" Castiel pointed out.

"If they eject me, then they can...persuade Dean to do whatever they want," Dean said quietly. The thought of being ejected from his vessel obviously troubled him.

"They can do that?"

"It's the only other way to be rid of me and free up the vessel. It's complicated to do from the outside, but it can be done."

"Yeah, you are definitely on surveillance," Castiel stood up and grabbed a pistol. "And you're learning how to handle one of these."

"A gun? What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Shoot stuff with it, genius," Castiel placed it in his hands. "We'll go out to Bobby's and I'll show you how. You can't just walk around unarmed and if you're cut off you need to be able to defend yourself."

Sam agreed and Dean, though looking a little unnerved by it, did the same.


	13. Heaven Isn't Too Far Away

**Booboopeedoop... YEAH**

**A little drunk, if you can tell. Writing drunk is fun. Best sex scenes come from sessions like this.**

**On a serious note, we will be finding out something pretty shocking about Dean (vessel, not angel) in this chapter. Made me sad writing it. Anywayhow, we will be meeting Crowley and shit. yay. i'll get on with it.**

* * *

><p>"Ok, aim down the sight and use your dominate eye," Castiel stood behind Dean as he helped him line up his shot at the target forty yards away. "When you're lined up, squeeze the trigger, don't pull it. Hold the gun steady 'cuz it kicks."<p>

Dean sighed and squeezed the trigger, missing his mark again. "Damnit," he mumbled.

"You'll get it. It took me weeks to get it right when I learned," Castiel smiled and squeezed Dean's shoulders.

"I wish I didn't have to. Damn Zachariah," he reloaded the gun and squared his shoulders off again.

"Yeah...but he won't get to you. Not on my watch."

Dean turned around and wrapped his arms around Castiel's shoulders, burying his face in his neck. It was a little unexpected, but Castiel returned the hug. "You ok?"

"I just...wanted to hug you, I suppose."

Castiel smiled against Dean's hair and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. "You can have one any time."

"Hey, lovebirds," Bobby called to them from the porch, causing them to jump. "Come check this out."

With exchanged looks of questioning, they head into Bobby's and find Sam holding a note.

"This just popped up in my laptop case. I didn't notice it this morning."

Castiel took the note and read it aloud. "Dear Winchester and Angel, I have what you need to get the job done. I also know where to find the last two rings. Come to 138 Park Ave. in Chicago. Tell no one."

He flipped the note over to find more. "What the fuck?"

"Right? And what are they talking about 'get the job done'?" Sam took it back and examined it himself.

"I don't know, but the last two rings? You think he means the Horsemen?" Castiel asked. Sam shrugged.

"It's worth a shot, I guess."

Castiel and Sam loaded up every weapon they could think of in case it was a trap.

Once they were packed and ready to go, Castiel walked over to Dean and hugged him tight.

"Don't leave the house, ok? Bobby knows about the angels and is gonna ward the place."

"I feel like a child," Dean grumbled, but Castiel lifted his chin.

"You'll stay here, right? I'm not losing you again."

Dean rolled his eyes and nodded. Castiel kissed his lips and squeezed his hand. "I love you, ol hoath."

"I love you," Dean recited and watched as they pulled out. Bobby stood behind him.

"He'll be fine, Dean. Come show me this angel proofing and let's have a beer."

* * *

><p>They didn't quite know what to expect when entering the gates of the Park Avenue home in Chicago, but they kept their weapons close.<p>

"Hey," they heard a deep voice call and turned to see a demon, dressed in a suit and tie. "Now how did you two get in here? Mr. Crowley doesn't like visitors."

"Got an invite. Were we supposed to present it at the gate?" Castiel asked properly before pulling out his salt gun. Sam pulled his knife as the demon charged them and plunged it deep in the demon's skull.

"Fucking demons," Castiel mumbled. "Should have known this was a trap."

"You think demons wrote that note? And who the hell is Mr. Crowley?" Sam asked as he cleaned off his knife and stepped over the body.

"Only one way to find out," Castiel cocked his gun and proceeded forward to the front door, which was amazingly open. They headed up the stairs following the sounds of a radio playing "Everybody Plays the Fool", as if it were mocking them. Seeing a rug on the floor, Castiel gave Sam a knowing look and they pulled out a can of spray paint.

Upon finishing their job, they heard footsteps approaching them. A gentleman, dressed in fine clothing, entered the hall.

"It's Crowley, right?" Castiel asked, pointing his gun at the man's chest.

The man's eyes flashed red for half a second as he gave them a smile. "Well, look at that," he said in a thick, British accent, "The Hardy boys found me."

As he stepped closer, he stopped and looked down- a wrinkle in the rug, one small curl upward of the carpet gave them away. Crowley lifted the corner and noted the Devil's trap spray painted on the bottom.

Crowley let out a sigh. "Do you have any idea how much that rug costs?"

Suddenly, arms wrapped around both their centers, cutting off any means of escape or fighting. Castiel went to power up, but found the building was warded, leaving him powerless. Crowley held up the Colt, studying it.

"This is what it's all about, right? This is what you want?" he smirked at them then held it up and shot twice. Each bullet met their mark in the skulls of the two demons holding Sam and Castiel. They looked at him in shock.

"We need to talk. Privately."

* * *

><p>"I'm amazed you two even know this gun exists. Do you know how deep I could have buried this thing?" Crowley asked as he led them into his study where a roaring fire was lit. Sam and Castiel exchanged glances at each other.<p>

"So why the note? Why not just bring us the gun?"

"I imagine you two buffoons wouldn't be taking all necessary precautions for my arrival," he stated as he sat on the edge of the desk. "Also, Castiel, it's a treasure to see you again. Been a while."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Get to your point. Why do you want is to even have the gun?"

Crowley sneered and pointed the gun at Castiel's head. "I want you to take this gun and empty it in Lucifer's face."

Both men wore similar expressions of confusion. "Why would you want the Devil dead?" Sam asked.

"Lucifer is no demon. He's an angel. To him you are, at best, a fleshy bag of pus," he waved his hand and picked up a glass of scotch. "If he thinks that way about you...what could he possibly think of demons?"

"He created you," Castiel pointed out. Crowley rolled his eyes.

"God created you, but he isn't exactly being Father of the year, is he? Once Lucifer eradicates human kind, we're next. This is survival. Now," he turned the butt of the gun toward Sam in offering. "Take this and do your job."

Sam hesitated, half expecting the demon to turn it around and blow them away, but finally he took the gun.

"Great...wouldn't happen to know where Lucifer is, would you?"

Crowley thought, then said. "Thursday...birdies tell me he has an appointment in Carthage, Missouri."

"And the horsemen?" Castiel asked.

"I'll be in touch. You idiots aren't hard to find."

Sam nodded. "Thanks." Without a thought, Sam turned the gun on Crowley and pulled the trigger, sending the sound of a click through the empty room. Castiel's stomach dropped.

"Right," Crowley nodded. "I imagine you need some ammunition," he stood and walked around to his desk, opening a drawer. Sam and Castiel were at a loss. Why was this demon helping them?

"What happens to you if we take this gun against the devil and lose?" Castiel finally asked.

"Well, 1, we'll all get wiped out anyway. 2, I go so deep underground I'm breathing through a straw, and 3, how about you DON'T MISS, OK, MORONS!?"

Crowley tossed them the bag and disappeared. Castiel looked toward Sam, who still held the gun at the ready position.

"Well...that was weird," Castiel swallowed.

"Carthage, Missouri. Let's get going before he comes back."

* * *

><p>They returned to Bobby's with the gun and Bobby inspected it. Rain splattered against the windows in the background.<p>

"He just gave it to you?"

"Yeah. Said he wants to survive." Sam opened his laptop and started looking up Carthage, Missouri.

"The question is...why Carthage? I mean, what's so special about it?" Castiel asked. Dean sat on the couch next to him processing it all.

"That's what I'm trying to find out," Sam concentrated on his screen and went silent. Suddenly, Dean let out a pained scream and held his head.

"Dean? What's going on?" Castiel turned quickly and grabbed his shoulders.

"I don't know...hurts," he grinded out through his teeth. His eyes lit blue before they fell closed and he collapsed against Castiel's chest.

"Guys, a little help?" Bobby and Sam leapt up and ran over as Castiel started trying to wake Dean.

"Come on, Dean, wake up," he smacked his face a couple of times before his eyes finally blinked open.

"God, why does that keep happening?" the vessel spoke. Castiel's heart ached. It wasn't Diniel.

"Dean? What happened?" Sam asked his brother. Dean shook his head.

"I was just out cold and now Diniel is gone."

"Did you see or hear anything?" Castiel urged frantically.

"Just that douchebag Zachariah. I just assumed you guys were talking to him."

Castiel stood up and ran his hands through his hair. "They got him. They figured out how to eject him."

Dean cursed and stood up. "How do we get him back?"

"You're free and you wanna get him back?" Bobby asked, not seeming to think about it before he said it. Castiel's face fell slightly and he looked over at Dean.

"He's right...they took him...you could hide from the angels with our help."

Dean looked toward Sam, seeming to consider it, then shook his head quickly. "No. It sounds suicidal, but not being able to think for myself...it's kind of a relief, you know?"

The four men exchanged silent looks then Dean sighed.

"So...how do we get him back?"

* * *

><p>One night of research was getting them nowhere. Castiel walked outside and sat on the hood of the Impala with a bottle of Jack Daniels and stared up at the sky. It seemed cliche' but he didn't care. Diniel was up there somewhere, likely paying for intercepting Dean before Michael could get to him.<p>

"I always thought the Devil would go to Georgia," Dean piped up behind him, making him jump. "I hear he's partying in Missouri on Thursday."

Castiel let out a dry laugh. "Yeah...almost forgot about that."

Dean leaned against the side of the car and looked up. "He always comes back, you know."

Castiel nodded and took a swig from his bottle, the burning in his throat soothing him a little. He offered it to Dean, who took it and took a swig himself, cringing a little.

"Damn...it's been too long," he chuckled and handed it back to Castiel. They continued to look up for a while before Dean spoke again.

"I've started listening in a little more," he said. "I hear you're a prince or something?"

Castiel rolled his eyes. "It's getting ridiculous. I'm supposed to take over when God steps down or some shit. Don't even know what that means. All I want right now is to kill the Devil and get Diniel back."

Dean nodded. "I feel you. It's weird not having him riding co-pilot. I'm not seeing you naked like I usually do and for some reason, that's disappointing."

Castiel looked slowly over at him, a look of shock on his face. Dean let out a laugh.

"I don't play that side, man, I'm just saying my thoughts are a lot less interesting. Could be a diseased hooker he's picturing naked."

Castiel couldn't fight a laugh. Dean felt like a long-lost friend to him. It was strange how they had become connected to each other's lives, but he sometimes wished he could have Dean and Diniel both- one to love and one to talk to when things were tough. He was very different from his brother.

"Seriously though, Cas...Diniel is a tough son of a bitch. Whatever they throw his way, he'll hang on until we find him."

"We?"

"Well, this is a family business, right? Hunting down the bad stuff and killing it?" he looked at Castiel with a hint of longing. "I never got to partake...the least I can do is work this one job to get Diniel back. I know how to shoot a gun and stab something. I'm not totally useless."

Castiel's gut burned. Dean was right- this was what his family did and he never got to experience it. As fucked up as it seemed to Castiel to have been raised to fight the monsters in your closet, it should have been Dean's life.

Castiel nodded and hopped down from the car, a feeling of empowerment coming over him. "Ok. We've just gotta figure out where they took him."

Dean shrugged. "Well...I have an idea."

* * *

><p>"Are you idjits trying to kill me!?" Bobby yelled as he listened to Dean and Castiel's plan.<p>

"Bobby, it's the only place they would have taken him to make sure we couldn't get to him. It makes sense."

"Nothing about what you wanna do makes sense, Cas!" Bobby slammed his book shut and stood up. "You mean to give me a gun and make me blow your fool heads off just so you can sneak into Heaven!? How much of that Jack have you drank tonight, boy?"

Sam just sat in silent thought as Bobby went on a rampage. Castiel could see him analyzing it in his mind, tearing it apart to see if it could even be done.

"Look, Bobby," Dean stepped forward, "The angels wouldn't have kept him on Earth. They don't think we would be so, as you say, stupid, to kill ourselves to get into Heaven."

"Well, they're wrong, apparently, and you are stupid," he huffed. "Sam, are you gonna say something?"

Sam looked between Bobby and his friend and brother. "Bobby...I think they're right."

Bobby threw up his hands and sighed, giving up.

"No, I mean...if any of us would get into Heaven, it would be Dean and Cas. Dean's accepted an angel into his body, which sort of guarantees a spot upstairs and Cas is an angel. If they find Diniel, he could bring them back."

"And if they don't!? Did you think about that? They'd be dead!"

Silence fell over the room and Castiel and Dean exchanged looks.

"Guys...we both agree to this. It's the only other thing we can do. Now...either you or Sam do it, or we'll do it ourselves. They can't have Dean's vessel and they can't kill Diniel...not on my watch," Castiel glanced between Bobby and Sam, waiting for one of them to argue. When neither did, Castiel took out his gun and held it up.

"So...who's gonna take the shot?"

Sam swallowed hard and stepped forward to take the gun. He studied Castiel, then his brother Dean. "You two idiots better come back."

Castiel smiled and clapped Sam's shoulder. "Sam, I'm not done bugging the shit out of you and making you uncomfortable with mine and Diniel's sex noises...of course I'll come back."

Sam cringed and shrugged Castiel's hand off. Sam walked over to Dean. "You don't have to do this. We can keep you here."

"Sam, Diniel gave me a life. He could have left me to die in that fire, but he didn't. Now, he's in trouble and I can give him a life. If I die, then I die trying to repay my debt like a man should. "

Sam swallowed hard again, this time letting a tear escape. "Fine. Just...please come back."

Dean nodded. "Will do, little brother."

Sam stepped back and let out a shaky breath.

"Just don't shoot me in the face, kay?" Castiel smirked. Sam's shaky hand came up and he pointed the gun at Castiel and pulled.

* * *

><p>Castiel woke up in the Impala, surrounded by trees and silence. He blinked rapidly, shaking off a dizzying feeling. He looked down at his chest where he knew the bullet made contact, but there was no blood or bullet wound.<p>

A slam against the window made him jump and his jaw dropped. A thirteen year old Sam stood laughing at him.

"Come on, wuss, we're missing it!"

He ran toward an open area in the field the car was parked next to and Castiel opened the door. He looked everywhere for Dean but he wasn't there. Maybe Sam chickened out and he was the only one. Looking up into the sky, he saw the Heavens moving above him. He was at the highest point in the world, seeing galaxies spinning slowly around small suns and moons.

"Heaven," he breathed out, taken aback at the beauty of the sky above him.

"Cas, come on!" he heard Sam's young voice call out to him again. He followed Sam and found him sitting on the ground looking out over a hilly terrain.

"It's about to start. Thanks for bringing me, Cas. Dad said we didn't have time for fireworks."

Castiel felt a hint of recognition. "Sawyer's Grove...this was Fourth of July 1994..."

"Duh...look!" Sam pointed to the sky and an explosion of fireworks lit Sam's face. Castiel looked around, curious as to why he was seeing this memory. It was a happy one...one of the happiest he had of his young years with the Winchesters.

"This is so cool, Cas," Sam smiled in wonder, eyes not leaving the flicker of lights in the sky. Castiel felt like sitting on that hill side for the rest of his life- or afterlife- but he remembered his true mission.

"Sammy, I hate to go...but I gotta go find Diniel."

Sam looked up at him and smiled. "I know, Cas. Just follow the road."

Castiel looked surprised. "You know where he is?"

"No...but follow the road. You'll find him."

The scene faded away, leaving only the Impala and a two-lane highway behind him. He ran and jumped in his car, flooring it down the slick road.

"Come on, Dean, where the hell are you?" he looked around for any sign of civilization, but he couldn't find anything for what seemed like an hour. A house appeared on the side of the road that struck him deeply. He stopped and got out of the car, hearing horrible screams from inside. He ran in and up the stairs, feet carrying him almost by muscle memory. He ended up in a bedroom with the door shut. He looked around, seeing photos on the desk, a baseball glove sticking out from the mattress. The familiarity hit Castiel like a bus.

His parents were downstairs, possessed by demons. The only good thing about this night was-

At that moment, the door flew open. John Winchester stood like Superman in the doorway, flying into his life and saving the day.

"Woah, woah, easy," John beckoned to him. Castiel felt as if he would cry. He was reliving his best memories.

"It's ok, we aren't going to hurt you," John placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm here to help you. What's your name?"

Castiel's voice was trapped in his throat. He remembered every detail about this evening and seeing it in real time as an adult...knowing what he knew...knowing that John was going to be dead in a few years and that the boy he was swooping in to save was an angel.

"Come on, I promise you're safe with us. What's your name?"

Castiel looked down at little Sam, seven years old and carrying that little sawed-off he had taught Castiel how to clean and load himself.

"Put the gun down, Sammy. You're scaring him."

Castiel blinked away tears and swallowed hard, remembering what he had said. "C-Castiel...my name is Castiel."

In that moment, observing John's face with an older eye, Castiel knew that John knew what he truly was. "Well, Castiel...my name is John...this is my son Sam. We're going to need you to come with us. We're gonna find you a safe place to go, but until then you need to stay with us."

Castiel let out a rattled sigh and said. "I have to find Dean. I'm sorry."

He shoved past John and Sam, who didn't even seem to notice. Upon leaving the house, he found the car and the road were nowhere in sight.

"What the-" he started then heard plates and forks tittering behind him and a woman laughing. He turned to see Dean, looking like he had found paradise, staring at a beautiful woman holding Dean's waist and a little boy around 11 looking shocked and excited. Castiel stepped forward and watched the scene- the woman must have been Lisa, the woman Dean had been with before Diniel came to him. According to the name on the mug on the table, the boy's name was Ben.

"Dean, are you ok?" Lisa placed a hand on Dean's. Dean's eyes were shimmering.

"Yeah, honey, I'm ok," he said with a shaky voice.

"Aren't you gonna say something?" she laughed and squeezed his hand. "I just told you I'm pregnant and you seem disappointed."

Castiel felt like he was going to throw up. This was Dean's memory. That was Dean hearing for a second time that the girl he loved was going to have his baby, but this time he knew that she and her son would be dead before the baby would even be born.

Dean swallowed hard and nodded. "I'm so happy, Lisa. I love you so much."

Lisa smiled and kissed him deeply. She hopped up and said something about calling her mom while Ben trailed behind her, spouting off baby names. Castiel slowly approached Dean, who stared after them.

"Dean...I had no idea-"

"Hearing it the first time...it was the greatest news I had ever gotten. I was going to marry her, adopt Ben...raise my baby with her..."

Dean let out a shaky breath and wiped his eyes. "This isn't real, thought, right? It's just memories."

"Seems so," Castiel nodded. "I guess Heaven is just you reliving your greatest hits forever."

"Feels like Hell," Dean stood up and wiped his eyes one last time. "Let's get outta here. Find Diniel."

Castiel followed Dean, wanting to say something in comfort, but not knowing exactly what to say. Having rarely had the opportunity to speak to Dean directly, he didn't know much about his life before Diniel came to him. Castiel wondered if that memory was a good one. If he would relive that one while here.

"So what are we looking for?" Dean finally shook him from his thoughts.

"Well, Sam said follow the road...Heaven Sam, I mean," Castiel looked out each window he passed, but saw no road.

"Follow the road...they keeping him in Emerald City?" Dean jested, searching anywhere and everywhere. He opened a closet and called to Castiel.

"Hey...would this be a road?"

Castiel walked over and knelt down. "A Hot Wheels set...I had one of these," he smiled and picked up the little car at the beginning of the track. "A '68 Mustang...my dream car."

"Choice ride," Dean looked at it. Castiel placed it on the track and it took off of it's on accord. When it reached it end, the scene had changed around them. They were in a large room, bars on the windows and covering one wall.

"Is this a jail cell? I've been in jail and none of those memories are happy," Castiel looked around. A loud ringing pierced the room and Dean covered his ears, hitting his knees. The ringing slowly turned into words in Castiel's ears.

"Castiel!?"

"Diniel?! Where are you?" he called out.

"Deafen Dean. The sound will kill him."

Castiel reached down and placed a hand on Dean's head. He slowly stood up, looking alarmed that he couldn't hear.

"Castiel, how did you get here!? The only way you would be here is if you were-"

"Yeah...dead. Listen, we've gotta get you outta here before-"

"Enter Zachariah," the slimy angel's voice appeared at the bars. "Castiel, welcome to Heaven's own Alcatraz. Finally, I have you where you truly belong."

"Zachariah, I swear to God-"

"God? God has left the building," he smirked. "I'm running this show, now. I have you, I have your boyfriend, and I have Michael's vessel...right where I want you. You didn't honestly think you could enter Heaven and I wouldn't notice. I'm everywhere, kid."

Castiel gripped the bars, feeling heat emit from his palms as if trying to melt them.

"Oh, your grace won't help you. You and Diniel are powerless here. Now," he snapped his fingers and Dean shook his head.

"What the hell-"

"Dean," Zachariah threw Castiel back against the brick wall, causing it to crack as he hit it. The door opened and Zachariah walked in. "It's time for you to come with me. Michael has been waiting for you."

"I still say no, you greasy bastard," Dean growled. Zachariah nodded.

"I see...how about we make a deal. You say yes...I'll bring back Lisa. I'll bring back Ben...I'll even bring back your baby girl."

Dean froze. "What?"

"Lisa was expecting a girl. She found out while you were off getting reamed. You say yes to Michael, kill Lucifer...I'll bring them all back to you."

Castiel looked up, seeing Dean's shoulders relax a little from their stiffened position.

"You can do that?"

"I can do whatever I want," Zachariah shrugged. "And I want you...so if that means bringing a few stiffs back to life, I'll do it."

Castiel wanted to argue, wanted to try and convince Dean that it was a trick...but how do you tell a man who lost everything and was about to get it all back that he couldn't?

Dean sniffed and glanced back at Castiel. There were tears in his eyes. Dean turned back to Zachariah.

"No."

Castiel and Zachariah both wore shocked expressions.

"No? You insignificant, drooling ape... I swear to you I will-"

"Excuse me," a frail old voice appeared next to Zachariah. He was a small, old man wearing a pair of overalls that were a little dirty and holding his hands cupped in front of his stomach.

"Can I help you? I'm a little busy here," Zachariah indicated Dean and Castiel.

"I must insist that these boys come with me...the angel, too," he nodded toward the cell next to them. Zachariah rolled his eyes.

"I don't have time for this."

"Fine...I shall take them myself."

In a flash of light, the cell disappeared and Dean and Castiel were lying on the ground in a large botanical garden. Castiel stood slowly, feeling a pounding behind his head where he had hit it on the ground. Dean stood up as well, studying his hands and body.

"Castiel?" he asked, his voice distinct.

"Diniel?" he asked frantically, taking the man's face in his hands and studying him.

"Yes, I'm back in my vessel," he smiled.

"Thank god," Castiel pulled him in tight for a hug. "I thought you were done for."

"As did I," he tucked his head into Castiel's neck. Castiel looked around.

"Where are we, Dean?"

Dean pulled away and looked around. "It looks like...Salsbury Gardens-"

"It is. Castiel, I believe you and Sam went there on a field trip," the old man spoke, causing them to jump and turn around. Dean looked at the man in awe.

"Joshua...how did you find us?"

The old man gave them a warm smile. "Zachariah has his eyes, I have mine."

Castiel remembered Joshua. "The gardener, right?"

"Castiel," Joshua smiled in reverence. "So long it's been. Too long. I know why you have come."

"I came for Diniel. Now that I've found him, is there any way you can get us back to our bodies?"

Joshua nodded slowly. "I can. But that isn't the only reason you are here...you have come to find God."

Dean and Castiel exchanged looks. "Why has He started all this?" Castiel asked.

"He didn't," Joshua answered simply.

"Well, why isn't He doing something about it?" Castiel started to feel a little angry at the calmness of the old man.

"He has a message for you two," the man cupped his hands in front of his stomach again. "He would like for you to give up your search."

Dean and Castiel furrowed their brows.

"I know you want more answers, but God is not taking questions. He is aware of what is happening...He just feels like it isn't his problem."

"Not his problem?" Dean's voice sounded a little broken.

"Humans are dying by the thousands! He has to care!" Castiel stepped forward. Joshua didn't seem intimidated.

"He would intervene if he wanted, Castiel. He just doesn't want to. I'm sorry you have to hear this from me, but that is the truth."

Dean and Castiel stared at him for a moment longer before Joshua gave them a soft smile.

"Your time here is over. Return to your bodies. Enjoy what time you have before the end and don't feel like you have to save the world. It doesn't need to be saved."

Joshua laid his old, bony hands on their heads and Castiel shot up off the floor at Bobby's, gasping for air as if he had been suffocated. Dean followed after, looking more traumatized than he felt. Sam came running into the room, Bobby close behind him.

"Boys," Bobby said in shock, "...never do that again!"

Castiel looked over at Dean, who seemed to be lost in a daze.

"Dean? You ok?"

Dean looked at him with almost mournful eyes before standing up and walking toward the door.

"Diniel," Castiel called to him, causing him to stop. "Maybe Joshua was lying."

"He wasn't Castiel...you know that," he said softly. "I just...need a moment."

In a flutter of wings, he was gone. Castiel sighed and sat down on the bed, emotionally drained.

"Cas...what happened?"

Castiel recounted the events in Heaven, including the deal Zachariah offered Dean that he declined with hesitation. After hearing about Joshua and his words, Sam let out a sigh.

"So, what...God's checked out and we're all screwed?"

Castiel stilled his shaking hands. "No...screw God, screw those dickhead angels and screw the Apocalypse. Something has to be done and if no one else will, then we will. We're gonna take that Colt to Carthage and we're gonna blow Satan's brains out."


	14. Hellhounds On My Trail

**hola and welcome to the nuthouse.**

**So, the 'not so incestuous' thing on supernatural was actually pretty cool- hannah gave her vessel back and opened up castiel's story for a more personal tone. love. also THE FUCKING MARK IS COMING BACK! yay. loved evil dean more than I should. anywho, here's more!**

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><p>Dean came back after a while, soaking wet from rain, and walked into Castiel's room at Bobby's.<p>

"Glad you came back," Castiel stood up and headed over to grab a towel. Dean barely registered that Castiel had started drying his hair off and stripping off his wet clothes.

"Get in the bed," he guided Dean to lay under the blankets and climbed in behind him, still clothed. He wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him close.

"This isn't over, Dean."

Dean looked over at him. "You propose we take on Lucifer alone? It's a suicide mission."

"Three or four lives are worth way less than the whole planet," Castiel stared up at the ceiling. Dean turned around in his arms and tucked his head into Castiel's neck.

"You...always willing to bleed for humanity."

Castiel let out a laugh. "It's just right, Dean."

Dean sat up on his elbow and gripped Castiel's neck, pressing a hot kiss to his lips and taking Castiel by surprise. He let out a soft moan and slid his fingers in the back of Dean's hair.

"Where'd that come from?" Castiel asked when Dean separated their lips for a moment.

"You...your undying need to save the world...your compassion...it's just something I have never seen before. You're a strange angel, Castiel."

Castiel cupped Dean's cheek and ran his thumb along his cheekbone. "I wasn't always an angel. I'm one of them whether I have celestial power or not. This is my home and no angel throwing a hissy fit is going to destroy it as long as I'm alive."

Dean toyed with the hair behind his ear. "I love you."

Castiel pulled Dean in and held him close to his body as he kissed him slowly. Saying I love you was nothing compared to pouring your body into the feeling. He ran his hand down Dean's bare back to the swell of his ass, gently kneading it. Dean whimpered and tugged at Castiel's sweatpants, but Castiel shook his head.

"This is for you, Dean, not me," he rolled Dean over on his back and took his bare cock into his hand and started to stroke him slowly, gently. Dean lay back and let Castiel kiss over his neck and chest, play with his nipples, make love to his body with only his lips, teeth and tongue. The contrast of bare skin against cotton made Dean and Castiel both crazy. Castiel felt that Dean was reaching his breaking point and ducked down to cover him with his mouth and after only three or four bobs of his head, Dean was gripping his hair and cumming down Castiel's throat, shivering as Castiel swallowed around him. Dean immediately sat up to relieve Castiel of his erection, but his hand was batted away.

"Just lay back and enjoy the feeling, Dean," Castiel whispered in his ear as he ran his fingertips gently over Dean's oversensitive body.

"But you-"

"Shh," he whispered in his ear. "Soon enough. Easy, now," he ran his blunt nails up the inside of Dean's thigh, making his cock twitch in an attempt to come back to life. "Just forget the world for a while, Dean. Forget all of this messy, horrible business and focus on what you feel. I'm gonna prep you, ok?"

Dean's eyes slid closed and he nodded. Castiel coated his fingers and turned Dean on his side, leg up to his stomach and clothed body to his back. Dean arched as Castiel slid two fingers into him, but Castiel was there, whispering gently in his ear in Enochian. Dean finally let himself relax and there was nothing but Castiel.

Castiel slid his sweatpants off but kept his t-shirt on. Something about the one piece of clothing between them felt powerful. He pressed his body back against Dean's back and slid into him. The angle was incredible, but he kept a slow pace to keep the relaxed mood in the air. Dean let out short huffs of air along with the occasional soft groan at a particularly good thrust. It wasn't loud and fiery like their normal moments like this. This was soft and gentle and exactly what Castiel knew Dean needed in the moment. When Dean let slip a soft 'Cas', he knew to reach around and stroke Dean with his thrusts. Castiel was cumming before he even noticed and he stuttered in his strokes, but continued as he came for what felt like several minutes. Dean gripped Castiel's thigh and came over Castiel's hand and on the sheets beneath him. They lay there for several minutes, not moving save to breathe and place kisses on wrists or necks. Castiel pulled out of Dean slowly then stood and removed his t-shirt.

"Come on," he held his hand out for Dean, who took it lazily. Castiel guided Dean into the bathroom and turned on the faucet in the claw-foot bathtub. The air became warm and sticky as the hot water filled the tub and Castiel guided Dean in with him. Dean leaned back against Castiel's chest and felt his body relaxing against it.

"Castiel?" he spoke after several minutes of silence. Castiel gave an affirmative noise against his ear.

"Remember when you said we could have our own life after the Apocalypse?"

Castiel nodded, feeling that the conversation was about to lead to possible death.

"How long does it take one to become a pediatrician?"

Castiel felt himself smile and a soft chuckle came up from his chest.

"A long time. A few years."

Dean nodded. "Good."

Castiel wrapped his arms tight around Dean and squeezed. The angels sat there, just like that, until after the water turned cold.

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><p>Jo and Ellen were there the night before they left for Missouri, ready for a fight. The 'last night on Earth' mentality was as high here as it was when Dean and Castiel took on Raphael. Music played from Bobby's old radio and Castiel stood in the library with Bobby and Sam while Dean, Jo and Ellen sat at the table. Being around people seemed to help Dean forget that God had abandoned them. He smiled more, talked more. Castiel watched on as Ellen lined up shots of whiskey for Dean.<p>

"You can't have a sober last night, so drink up, kid," she challenged him. Dean took a deep breath and downed six shots faster than Castiel had ever seen. The look of shock on Ellen and Jo's faces made him laugh out loud.

Dean swallowed the last shot and let out a breath. "I think I'm starting to feel something."

"I would hope so," Jo laughed. Castiel walked into the kitchen to grab another beer and Jo joined him.

"Your friend is interesting," she nodded to Dean, who was now in deep conversation with Ellen. "For an angel, I mean."

Castiel nodded. "He's special, for sure."

Jo studied him for a moment, then asked, "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot," he took a swig of his beer.

"Are you and Dean...together?"

He hadn't told Ellen and Jo about them. Jo had always had a crush on Castiel and he knew it. He scratched the back of his head, a nervous habit, and leaned in.

"Before I was cast out, he and I were bound."

Jo raised her brow. "Sounds kinky."

"It's essentially marriage. His real name is Diniel. He's the light of my life."

Jo gave him a warm smile and took his hand. "I wish I could have that."

Castiel's smile faltered. This young girl was about to possibly die for them and something as big as love had never been in her life.

"We're gonna beat the Devil, Jo. You're gonna find it one day."

Jo ducked her head and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I hope so."

He squeezed her hand and they walked back over to the table, where Castiel placed a hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezed, earning a sweet smile from the angel and looks of fondness from Ellen and Jo.

Bobby called them into the living room, demanding a photo. Castiel and Sam grumbled.

"Come on, Bobby, you know I hate photos," Castiel wedged himself between Dean and Jo.

"You idjits are about to go head to head with Satan. I need something to remember your ugly mugs by," he said as he set up the camera.

"Bobby's right," Dean said, sounding a little solemn for the first time that evening. "This could very well be the end."

The photo clicked and captured the looks of apprehension and understanding on each and every face.

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><p>Pulling into Carthage was like pulling into a ghost town. Much like the Colorado town the visited, cars were left abandoned. Shop doors were left wide open as if vacated in a rush. Dean looked around the town in amazement.<p>

"What's up?" Jo asked, looking where he was looking.

"This town...it's swarming with reapers."

Reapers were not unknown to them. Castiel had fought his own reaper off in the days before John died. Then, he couldn't see them, but now, he stood next to Dean and stared in awe at the hundreds of reapers staring off in one direction.

"I'll follow them. You go find Lucifer," Dean squeezed Castiel's shoulder. "Be careful."

"You, too," he placed a kiss to Dean's forehead and watched his angel walked among the angels of death. The four of them- Castiel, Sam, Jo and Ellen- continued down the street. Seeing the others walk through reapers was a little unsettling to Castiel, but they didn't seem to notice and neither did the reapers. Their focus was on something bigger.

"Hello, boys," a female voice called to them. They turned to find a young woman with black hair and a sneering face looking at them from down the street. Castiel raised his gun.

"Who are you?"

"Aw, Castiel...I'm hurt," she flashed her black eyes. "All the fun we had together. I'm sure Sammy remembers me."

Sam stared at her. "Ruby?"

"Mmm, little further back," her smirk grew. Sam's face fell. Castiel felt his lunch coming back up.

"Meg."

On their search for John, Castiel and Sam split for a while after a fight. Sam met up with Meg, thinking she was simply a hitchhiker. She tracked them for months, even went as far as possessing Sam. They exorcised her, but now they had wished they had the demon knife at the time. She would have been dead in an instant.

She chuckled. "You do remember me!"

A growl came from behind her and Castiel almost stumbled backward. Hellhounds were very familiar to him. The memory of three of them ripping him apart the day he went to Hell was burned in his memory so deep he could feel phantom pain in his chest.

"Yeah, Cas," she smirked. "Hellhounds...your favorite!"

"Where's Daddy?" Castiel stood tough. The other three had their guns at the ready.

"He's around," she glanced around her. "Betcha five bucks he finds your bed warmer before he finds you, though. He's hot on his trail."

Castiel gritted his teeth, feeling his energy accumulate around him like a cloud. The others noticed, too.

"Go ahead, Castiel...you can feel the rush, but you can't get it up. My Father made sure of that. Can't have two supercharged angels running around here. This has been entertaining, but I got a thing," she wiggled her brows and leaned down to the ears of the dogs.

"Sick 'em."

Loud growls and barking that only Castiel could see the source of barreled toward them. They turned and ran down the street, dodging cars and debris looking for any safe haven. A hardware shop in the distance was like the lighthouse leading them ashore. A gut-wrenching scream caused Castiel to turn and find Jo lying where she had tripped, stomach tearing open like paper due to the large claws of the beast on top of her. Castiel shot the hound in the head and lifted Jo into his arms with amazing strength.

"Hardware store!" he called to Sam and he broke the lock with the butt of his shotgun and kicked the door in. Once inside, Sam ripped the salt from his bag and made a line over the door as quickly as he could, staving off the beasts. Jo lay choking and trembling by her mother's side.

"It's bad, I'm gonna die," she stuttered, but her mother shushed her. Castiel leaned heavily against the rack of socket wrenches. He took a moment to let his mind catch up before falling to her side and trying to heal her. As Meg had said, he was powerless. Something Lucifer had done had cut off his power.

'Dean', he prayed in his mind. 'If you can hear me, please say something. Jo is dying and I can't do anything to help. Please answer me'. When nothing came, he hoped that prayer had also been cut off instead of the other alternative- Dean was too dead to hear it.

The signal on their phones was out and the phone lines were down in the whole town. With a grunt of frustration, Castiel scrambled around the store, looking for anything that could help him get in touch with Bobby. He found an old radio and microphone. An oasis in the wasteland.

It took time, but he finally heard Bobby's voice over the radio.

"Bobby, thank God-"

"What's going on, Cas?"

Castiel swallowed a knot in his throat. "It's Jo...there's hellhounds and she got jumped..."

"Is she ok?"

Castiel glanced back at her where she lay pale and shaking in her mother's arms. "No...Bobby, what do we do?"

He didn't have Dean, his powers, or an escape- once the hounds had your scent, it was forever. All he had was Bobby on the other end of the radio.

"It's gonna be ok, son," he said, voice shaking even in the static that cut through their communication. The comfort he felt when he heard 'son' was much needed. "Ok, you can see them, right?"

"Yeah, but there's too many for just me. I'm cut off from my power here. I can't even heal Jo."

He heard Bobby sigh on the other end, then he heard a frail "Stop."

He turned and looked over to where Jo lay on the floor. She swallowed and gasped. "Just stop. I know what to do."

She sat up a little bit, but the bend caused her to choke and bleed out further. "I'm not getting out of here."

"Yes you are, Jo, don't be stupid. We'll make a stretcher-" Castiel started, but she scoffed.

"And what?" She gave him a weak smirk, "Haul me out to the battlefield? You'll kill yourselves. There's nails, propane, salt and everything else we need here."

"For what, Jo?" Ellen looked at her, distraught at the mere thought of what her daughter was planning to do.

"A bomb," she swallowed. "You guys sneak out the back...I'll open the door and wait with my finger on the button...It'll give you time to get to the Devil and take him out."

Ellen let out a short, strangled "No" while Sam and Castiel looked at each other, unable to even imagine letting her do it.

"Joanna Beth, you will NOT give up like that," Ellen gripped the girl's bloody hands.

"I'm not giving up, Mom," she said hoarsely. "I'm not making it out. The last thing I can do is help Sam and Cas get to that son of a bitch without hounds on their asses. I want to do this. It's the last thing I'll ever ask from you, so please...just let me do it."

Ellen choked and pulled Jo in tight, trying to hold her daughter for as long as she could before she sent her into the fire. Finally, Ellen turned to the boys.

"What are you waiting for? Build this bomb."

* * *

><p>After a blinding light, Dean found himself in a ring of holy fire, a little unsettled because the last thing he remembered was walking down a hall in the building the reapers were clustered around. A voice he hadn't heard before greeted him then he was there, in a ring of fire. Out of the corner of his eye, a presence caught his attention. A man stood against a wall, staring at him.<p>

"Hello, brother," the man's voice was soft and even. As he stepped into the light of the fire, his features became pronounced.

"Lucifer," Dean made the connection.

"I should have known you would come with the vessel," he uncrossed his arms and circled the fire.

"I came alone," he lied. Lucifer smiled.

"You don't have to lie to me, Diniel. That is your name isn't it?"

Dean swallowed and nodded. Lucifer smiled.

"I understand you came here in an automobile. What was that like?"

Dean was a little confused at the casual tone of the conversation. "Um...slow...confining."

Lucifer tilted his head. "What a peculiar thing you are, Diniel. You're lover as well...Castiel?"

Dean stiffened a little. Lucifer gave him a look of mock surprise.

"Oh...that touched a nerve. Does it bother you that I know Castiel? That I have eyes on him right now...and Sam Winchester. Those hellhounds...those were a nasty creation."

He turned to his other side, revealing blotched skin worn away on his face.

"Your vessel is damaged," Dean stated.

"Yes...Nick is beginning to wear a bit thin...soon he'll burst like a balloon."

Dean moved on him, but quickly remembered his fiery prison. Lucifer smirked.

"You will not have Sam Winchester. I won't let you."

"Diniel...I will. It's all a matter of time. If there is one thing I have learned after being cast down is patience."

Dean, for the first time ever, felt Lucifer was truthful.

"I just don't understand why you are fighting me...we were both cast out...we both rebelled against our Father. As soon as I'm gone, they will come for you...and for Castiel. The best thing you can do is step down and let me finish my work."

Dean held firm. "I'd sooner die."

Lucifer studied him, then nodded. "I suppose you will."

With that, he was gone. Dean looked around his room and let out a weary sigh. Castiel and Sam were cornered somewhere by hellhounds and he was trapped. All hope was lost. The sound of boots walking on the floor outside the door turned his attention and in walked a female demon with black hair wearing a giddy expression.

"Howdy, Clarence. Cozy?"


	15. Fate

**HAPPY LATE CHRISTMAHANAKWANZICA TO YOU ALL!**

**Yeah, so i missed it by a couple hours but I have stuff to do...shit doesn't just build itself on Minecraft, you know.**

**As a special gift... a reeeeally long chapter! woop!**

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><p>The wires were run and the buckets were set up in a row on each side of the door. A trigger was placed in Jo's trembling hands then reluctantly released to her. Castiel and Sam stood up and waited for Jo to give them the go ahead. The hounds seemed to know their plan, growling and pawing at the door. Ellen held her daughter close and didn't show signs of moving.<p>

"Mom, go with them...I'll be ok."

Ellen didn't move, only sniffled.

"Someone's gotta open the door, Jo. You can't walk."

Sam and Castiel opened their mouths to protest.

"Boys...don't. Just...blow that fucker's head off," she said angrily. The guys knew better than to argue. Sam knelt down and wrapped them both up in a hug. Finally, Castiel knelt down to Jo.

"This is better. It'll be quicker than bleeding to death," she tried to smile, but a pained grimace replaced it. Castiel blinked away tears and pulled her close, burying his face in her blonde hair.

"You're crazy, kid," he whispered in her ear.

"You're about to shoot the devil and I'm crazy?" she laughed through tears. He choked a laugh and pulled back, cupping her face.

"You're crazy, but brave. You're dad would be proud of you."

She sniffed and nodded. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to her lips. It was quick, but she needed it. He leaned his head against hers.

"You've got this, Cas...all of it. Lead the herd," she said softly. He didn't really understand at the time, but after thought, he knew what she meant. Castiel pulled Ellen in and kissed her cheek.

"Go," Ellen commanded them and wrapped an arm around Jo. Sam and Castiel made their way out of the back and climbed up the ladder leading to the roof where they jumped to the next building. The sounds of the hounds growling and barking as they entered the hardware store followed them as they snuck across the street into the alley way.

The blast shook the ground and the heat from the flames brought sweat up on their skin. Castiel froze as he saw the windows explode outward and flames reach out with long fingers from the building.

"Cas...come on," Sam pulled his jacket and finally, he broke his gaze with a lump in his throat.

Sam and Castiel happen upon a group of men- obviously possessed- moving toward an old battlement. They crouched behind a fallen tree and watched on. Lucifer was standing atop the small hill, a shovel in his hands moving dirt.

"That's him," Sam's voice shook. "That's Lucifer."

Castiel nodded and pulled the Colt from his jeans and checked the ammo. "Ok, I'll go around the side."

"I'll distract," Sam recited his part. He looked over at Castiel. "Good luck shooting Satan."

Castiel nodded. "Yeah, that sucks that you have to even say that."

Sam watched Castiel move around behind the trees before cocking his shotgun and storming through the group of demons.

"Hey!"

Lucifer stopped and slowly turned, face wearing a pleasantly surprised expression.

"You wanted to see me?" Sam asked, anger growing as he stood face to face with Lucifer for the first time.

"Oh Sam," he spoke, voice even. "You won't need that gun. I'd never hurt you. Not really."

The sound of a gun cocking turned his attention to his side.

"Yeah? Well, I'd hurt you," Castiel growled. "So suck it."

He pulled the trigger and the bullet ripped through flesh and bone, sending Lucifer to the ground in a heap. Dead silence fell across the field. Castiel and Sam looked at each other, stunned. It was over. It was...too easy.

A gasp came from the body at Castiel's feet, causing him to stumble back. Lucifer stood, a smoking bullet wound in his skull. He looked pained, but completely alive.

"Now, where did you get that?" he asked before punching Castiel in the face and sending him fifteen feet into a tree and knocking him out. Sam stared in shock.

"You see...there's only five things in creation that gun can't kill...I just happen to be one of them," Lucifer stated as his wound began to heal itself. "Just...hold on a sec, I'm almost done," he leaned down and picked up his shovel, resuming his digging. Sam ran over to Castiel and tried to shake him, but to no avail.

Lucifer stopped digging and propped up on his shovel handle. "You know...I don't suppose you'll just say yes here and now...end this ugly mess."

"I'll never say yes," he growled, standing up. Lucifer just nodded.

"I believe you will," he dug some more. "I think it'll happen in the next six months. I think it'll happen in Detroit."

"I'm gonna kill you, do you hear me," Sam's voice shook. "I'm gonna rip your fucking heart out!"

"Good, Sam, good...fuel that fire in your belly. I'm gonna need it," he threw a smile at Sam.

"What did you do to this town?" Sam looked around at all the men standing and facing him. Lucifer sighed and shrugged.

"One demon for every able-bodied man," he indicated the crowd.

"And the rest of the town?" Sam dared to ask. Lucifer peeked over into the hole he was covering.

"In there," he said, sounding guilty. "I know it's awful, but these horsemen are so demanding. So, it was women and children first."

Sam held back the urge to vomit as he watched Lucifer shovel dirt over the mass grave. Finally, Lucifer stopped shoveling and turned to him.

"I know what you must think of me, Sam...but we aren't so different. We can relate."

"What is that supposed to mean!?" Sam asked, a tone of disgust. Lucifer threw his shovel down.

"I was a little brother, like you. I had an older brother who I loved. Idolized, even. And when I came to him to ask him to stand with me he cut me down. Called me a freak and a monster. He beat me into Hell for it. Sound familiar, Sammy?"

"Castiel wasn't my brother-"

"Family doesn't end with blood, Sammy."

Sam didn't respond because he didn't know how to. Lucifer was right. It turned his stomach to think it, but he was right.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a ritual to finish. Midnight calls. Don't go anywhere...not that you could if you wanted to," he raised his hands and chanted into the pit of bodies at his feet. Castiel moved at Sam's feet and he scrambled to help him stand.

"What-"

"I don't know," Sam answered, both unable to move. Lucifer turned to the crowd of men and they repeated his words. Like flies, each and every demon dropped to the ground dead, taking the remains of the citizens of Carthage, Missouri, with them. When the last body dropped, Lucifer looked over to Sam and Castiel, who stared at him in shock.

"What...they're just demons," he sneered.

* * *

><p>Dean fixed all his power on the bolt connecting a set of pipes, twisting it as quickly as the squeaking would allow.<p>

"Can you feel it? We're gonna win," the demon- Meg, he discovered her name was- leaned seductively against the wall. "We're going to Heaven, Clarence!"

Dean felt a small amount of amusement in his gut and it showed on his face in a smirk. "I hear differently from a demon named Crowley."

Meg's sneer fell. "You don't know Crowley."

"He says that Lucifer is only using demons to achieve an end," he stepped forward, working on the final bolt. "Once humankind is wiped out, you're next."

"That's not true," she stood just on the edge of the fire, glaring into his eyes. "My father walks the Earth. He loves us. Just because your father is a deadbeat doesn't mean mine is."

At that moment, the pipe burst forward, sending the demon into his arms and he placed his hand to her head, feeling deflated when he was unable to smite.

Meg laughed. "Looks like you're cut off from the home office. What can you do, you impudent sap?"

He glanced behind her and gave a smirk. "I can do this."

He threw her to the ground and covered the flame with her body. Dean stepped over her and before he made a speedy exit, he heard the piercing sounds of her screams.

* * *

><p>The ground began to shake beneath their feet. A look of satisfaction crossed the devil's face and he was so focused he didn't notice the little angel from his trap had broken free until a flutter of wings caught his ear and his vessel was gone. No matter, he thought. There will always be Detroit.<p>

From the ground rose a dark figure, the one he summoned and bound and for whom all this was done. Lucifer felt a grin cross his face.

"Well, hello Death."

* * *

><p>At Bobby's, Sam, Dean, Castiel and Bobby sat in front of the fire place, Bobby holding the photo he took less than twenty four hours before, holding the faces of the living and the dead. Jo and Ellen deserved a hunter's burial and, though their bodies burned, they hadn't recieved one. Bobby took the photo and tossed it in the fire and watched as the fire consumed the frozen forms of Jo and Ellen Harvalle.<p>

A week later, they were at Bobby's still, Dean sitting with Bobby pouring over old tomes searching for another way to stop Lucifer. Sam in on his computer tracking omens. Castiel hasn't been seen for the whole day.

"He's probably out in the shop," Bobby reminded Dean when he asked for the second time if anyone had heard from him. "If there's one thing that kid does when he grieves it's take something apart and put it back together. I got this, Dean, go hunt him down. We need to talk strategy anyway."

Dean nodded and closed his book, walking out the front door into the warm sun. Dean slipped his hands into his pockets and walked across the salvage lot, taking in the beautiful day. He did finally happen upon Castiel, who was under the Impala, the sound of a wrench clanking against metal as his beacon to follow. Castiel was softly singing a song Dean didn't recognize, but it sounded nice and made him smile.

"I can tell you're there," Castiel called from under the car.

"Sorry," Dean cleared his throat. "I didn't mean to hover...you have a nice voice."

Castiel pushed himself from under the car and scoffed. "Yeah, you only say that because you love me."

"That I do," Dean smiled. Castiel's smile was strained. Dean knew Castiel blamed himself for the deaths of Jo and Ellen and Dean didn't quite know what to do to help him see that it wasn't his fault.

"You're thinking very loud," Castiel tossed his wrench on the work bench and wiped his hands off with a dirty rag. "I don't wanna talk about it, Dean, ok? I'm finally getting to where I don't hate myself."

Dean gave him a concerned look and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. He smelled like grease.

"I'm dirty," Castiel mumbled before Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder. Unable to resist and knowing Dean could clean himself in no time flat, he wrapped his arms around Dean's thick shoulders. Dean just held him for a moment, doing what he felt was comforting and it seemed to work as he felt the muscles in Castiel's back relax after a moment.

Both of them jumped apart as they heard a ringing in their heads. Angel Radio, as they called it, was touchy with them. Dean had turned it off most of the time, but with Castiel, it came in at random times.

Once the ringing died down, they both looked up at each other and ran toward the house.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry, you heard what?"<p>

"An angel named Anna is going to go back and kill your parents," Castiel explained again to Sam. "We gotta stop her. If they die, you will never have existed."

Sam shook his head. "Isn't there some law against messing with time?"

"There are many," Dean nodded. "But Sam...this is serious. Anna's thinking is that if you don't exist, Lucifer has no vessel and cannot fight in Armageddon. She means business. And if your parents don't exist, then neither does Dean," he indicated himself.

Sam thought about it. "I wouldn't exist...so the Apocalypse would never had happened..."

"Sam, no," Castiel saw where his train of thought was going. "We can't let her go through with this. Dean, can you swing time travel?"

Dean looked a little worried. "It's very difficult and very dangerous just for an angel...taking passengers along as well...it'll weaken me...but it needs to be done."

The four exchanged looks before a decision was silently made. Sam and Castiel packed bags of weapons. Dean pulled out his own weapon- an angel blade.

"Here," he handed it to Castiel. "After we travel, I'll be severely weakened. You will be able to use this more than me."

Castiel was worried, but Dean was not hearing any other alternatives. Sam and Castiel stood on either side of Dean and Bobby gave them a thumbs-up before they were ripped from the library and into a busy street.

A car blew its horn at them, causing them to rush to the other side of the street. The town was alive with music and activity. A man walked by with a large beard in a suede vest.

"Dude...what year is this?" Castiel grimaced. Beside them, on the ground next to a parked car, was Dean. He groaned as blood poured from his nose. Castiel leaned down and helped him stand.

"Dean, say something," he gripped Dean's face and turned it toward him. Dean's eyes rolled back momentarily, but he shook his head.

"Hotel," he nodded in front of them. Sam and Castiel got Dean a room for three nights and left a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the handle before heading back out to the street.

"Is this Lawrence?" Sam asked, looking around.

"Has to be...wow, people dressed weird in the 70's," he watched a woman walk by in a puffy shirt and skirt with flowers in her braids.

"Come on, we have to find Mom and Dad," he headed in the direction of a phone booth to find a phone book. John and Mary Winchester were listed with an address and they quickly made their way there.

"Dude, you ready for this? I mean, you're about to meet your parents."

Sam sighed and nodded. "I have to save them, Cas. Not just for me, but for them and Dean, too."

Castiel nodded and knocked at the door.

Both were shocked when a young man, early twenties, answered the door wearing a shop shirt with the name John on the sewn-in tag.

"Can I help you?" he asked, sounding polite but unexpecting. Sam and Castiel took a moment, staring at the man who had been a father to both of them as a young man, alive and not hunting monsters.

"Um, yes, we're...Mary's cousins," Castiel finally made a cover. Sam nodded enthusiastically. "I'm Cas and this is Sam."

"Really? Mary's father was a Sam," he said, a smile coming over his face. "You know, I've never really met Mary's side of the family. Come on in, fellas."

John led them through to the living room. "Mary, you have some visitors. Cousins," he walked into the kitchen and Castiel and Sam exchanged looks.

"He's...a mechanic?"

"Dad only started hunting after Mom died," Sam clarified. John and Mary entered the room and the change was visible on Sam's face.

"Oh...it's been a long time," Mary gave a strained smile and hugged them both. Sam couldn't stop staring at her. "How did you guys find me?"

"Grandma," Castiel said quickly, hoping she would continue to go with it.

"I thought your grandmother was dead," John asked, brow furrowing.

"My grandma Campbell," she clarified. The phone rang and John excused himself. Mary waited until John was out of sight before leaning in to them.

"Who the hell are you and why are you saying you're my family?"

"Mary, this is going to sound crazy," Castiel jumped right into it because Sam was still a little stricken. "There is an angel from the future who has come back to kill you and John so that your sons are never born."

Mary fixed them with a dumbfounded expression. "I'm sorry...angel? Angels aren't real."

Castiel gave her a suprised look. 'Future', 'kill', and 'your sons' were all used in that sentence, but she picked out angel?

"They are, Mary. I'm an angel. My name is Castiel and I was brought here with Sam by my friend Diniel. We're here to warn you that this angel is very serious about killing you. In our time, the Apocalypse has begun and Sam," he indicated Sam, "he's your son."

Mary's jaw dropped as she looked up at him. There was resemblance, but it couldn't be true.

"This is...I was out."

Both men furrowed their brows. "What do you mean?"

"I stopped hunting, I was out. I don't want this again. John doesn't even know-"

"Wait, you were a hunter?" Sam spoke up, the first time since the door opened. Mary nodded then her face dropped.

"No...I didn't raise my kids to be hunters-"

"No, you didn't...because you're dead," Castiel told her. She covered her mouth with her hand and turned away. "Mary, this is all very real and we need you to pull it together and let us help you and John get away from this angel."

Mary seemed to steady herself then turn around, tears glistening in her eyes. "Sons."

"Sorry?" Castiel asked.

"You said I had 'sons'. Where is the other?"

A flutter of wings caused her to turn toward the door. Dean, who still looked a little worse for the wear, stood against the railing of the stairs.

"I came as quickly as I was allowed. Hello, Mary Winchester," he stepped forward slowly. "This must all seem so strange to you."

"I just met my son from the future," she nodded toward Sam. "Now apparently an angel is trying to kill me."

"Her name is Anna. She was cast out years ago and Castiel is responsible for her imprisonment, though he may not remember," he noted. "No one escapes Heaven's prison. Anna was released for the sole purpose of killing you so that Sam and Dean could not be born."

"Who is Dean? Is he my other son?"

Diniel sighed and closed his eyes, letting Dean to the front of his mind. Dean knew where he was and what he was doing. Diniel made sure of that. Dean shook his head and looked up, a desperate look on his face.

"Oh my god," he said softly. Mary approached him slowly.

"Your name is Dean?" she asked.

He nodded. "Diniel said you named me after your mother Deann."

Mary covered her mouth with her hand again and fought back tears.

"I remember you," he smiled and let a tear fall. "You used to sing 'Hey Jude' to me before I went to sleep. It's your favorite Beatles song."

"Oh my god," she threw her arms around Dean, who hugged her back tightly. She pulled back and looked over at Sam.

"My boys," she choked. "A-And you said I die...when?"

"I was 4...Sam was six months old," Dean blinked back more tears. "A yellow-eyed demon came into his nursery and you walked in...you burned on the ceiling."

Castiel never knew all the details- Sam and John didn't talk much about it. To have seen their mother burn alive...Castiel couldn't imagine it.

"Diniel is healing," Dean told Castiel and Sam. "The ride wrecked him. We gotta stop this chick or-"

"We will," Castiel nodded firmly. Silence met their ears and Mary looked toward the kitchen.

"John?" she called out, but there was no answer. They all ran to the kitchen to find it empty with a note that said 'Going to garage. Be back in 15. Love, John'.

"Oh no," Mary panicked.

"Sam, you and Mary stay here and start warding the house-"

"No way. John is in danger. I'm not sitting back and letting him die," Mary reached into a cabinet and pulled the bottom out, revealing an array of daggers and talismans.

"Mary, if you're under one roof-"

"I can handle myself. I've been hunting before," she said firmly and put all she could carry in her pockets and boots. "Come on," she pulled Castiel by the shirt.

"We'll ward the house. Take care of our mother," Dean called after them and Castiel threw a nod their way before Mary shoved him out the door.

* * *

><p>When they arrived, they were too late. Anna had gotten there first.<p>

Castiel and Mary entered the garage and found Anna standing over John, about to strike.

"Hey!" Mary called out and snatched the angel blade from Castiel's hand, ready to strike. "Leave him alone."

Anna, a beautiful woman with deep red hair, tilted her head apologetically.

"I don't want to do this, Mary...but I have to."

She moved to raise her blade again, but Mary sprung into action, kicking Anna in the back and sending her sprawling to the floor. Castiel grabbed John by the collar.

"Go to the car and wait for us, now," he shoved him toward the door and he reluctantly went, eyes on Mary the whole time. Anna and Mary squared off, both ready to fight. Mary raised her blade, but Anna flung Mary into a parked car, shattering the windshield. Mary scrambled up and Castiel ran to her side. Anna, for the first time, laid eyes on him.

"Castiel...you're dead..."

"No, honey, I'm not," he shoved Mary behind him. Anna, with a look of pure fear, vanished. Mary and Castiel looked around, but found her nowhere.

"Go," he rushed Mary to the car where John was waiting in the driver's seat and they sped off. It was silent for a moment, then John spoke.

"What the hell was that?" he turned to Castiel, but Mary spoke.

"John...there's something I never told you. That was an angel. Back when we first met...up to when we got engaged...I hunted monsters."

John gave her a look like none he had ever given her. "Monsters...like monsters?"

"And demons..."

"Mary, how could you not tell me that!? And what, now angels are real!?"

"Castiel is an angel," she said softly. John shot a piercing look at him.

"I just found out myself, man," he shrugged. John shook his head.

"This is nuts...fucking insane..."

"And Sam isn't my cousin...he's our son."

John stared straight ahead, unable to truly process what was going on.

"John, say something," Mary urged him.

"What am I supposed to say, Mary? Monsters are real, our son is here from the future and there's an angel trying to kill us... why is an angel even trying to kill us!?"

After a brief explanation and Castiel's feeble attempts to calm John down, they arrived at the house, where Sam and Dean had warded against Anna. Castiel felt a little light-headed as he walked up to the house, but knew it was just the warding. John stopped upon entering the room when he saw Sam and Dean standing in the living room, a jug of holy oil in Dean's hand. Dean's jaw dropped.

John glanced between them as if inspecting their features. "You're my sons?"

The boys exchanged glances then nodded. John sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"And this angel is trying to keep you from being born because of the Apocalypse..." he muddled out.

"That's the long and short of it, yeah," Dean nodded. John sighed and looked around, seeing the markings on the wall.

"Are these done, or do you need more?" he asked, sounding defeated.

"Well, they're kind of...these marks require human blood," Dean spoke softly. John grabbed a knife and slit his palm.

"Where do you want them?"

* * *

><p>With the house on lock down, Castiel and the four Winchesters sat in various spots in the house- John and Castiel in the kitchen, Sam, Dean and Mary in the living room.<p>

"This is insane," John sipped his beer. Castiel did the same. "So what about you? What are you in the future? My nephew?"

Castiel let out a laugh and shook his head. "When I was 10, my mom and dad...well, the people who raised me...were killed by demons. After Mary died you started hunting monsters. Made it your mission to find the demon who killed her. All you had was Sam and your vengeance. Then you found me in my room after you exorcised the demons and took me in. You raised me as your own," Castiel swigged his beer again. John looked at the angel in shock.

"I...saved you?"

"You saved a lot of people, John," Castiel nodded. "I was there. I saw it."

"I took you with me? Sam, too? What about Dean?"

Castiel sighed. "Everyone thought Dean was killed in the fire that killed Mary. Fact is, an angel named Diniel saved him. He went to a good family in Lawrence with the promise that he would always be protected. When Diniel needed a vessel, he asked Dean and he said yes."

John looked out into the living room, seeing Dean and Sam sitting on the couch with his wife.

"So...Dean is an angel?"

"He's hosting an angel. A good angel who would die before letting anything happen to Dean."

John nodded. "You respect this angel."

"I have the utmost respect," Castiel finally wrenched his eyes away from Dean, remembering that Dean's father was sitting across from him. "Dean is in the best of hands."

The flutter of wings takes them by surprise, as the warding should have made them invisible.

Anna and another angel, a young black man in a suit, stood in the living room. John and Castiel leaped from their seats.

"Anna, don't do this," Castiel urged her. The black angel chuckled.

"Castiel...I should have known you would be rolling in the mud with these filthy animals," he smirked. John charged him, but he flicked him away like a fly out of the window. Mary went after him, but Sam grabbed her before she could get off.

"Uriel?" Castiel recognized the angel. "There has to be another way."

"This is the only way. Sam and Dean Winchester cannot be born."

Mary pulled her blade and swung at Anna, causing an insane chain of events. Dean and Uriel fought to retrieve the angel blade Uriel dropped and Sam was fighting to get Mary away from Anna. Anna pulled a pipe from the wall and lunged forward, missing Mary and burying it into Sam's abdomen.

"No," Mary choked and knelt to the ground with Sam, who was bleeding from the mouth. He collapsed to the ground.

The walls began to shake and crack around them. The sound of a raging storm and wind was deafening as the lights blew out and they ducked down to avoid the ceiling hitting them in the heads. The door flew open and John reappeared, but Castiel could see that it was not John Winchester. Anna stepped back.

"No..it can't-"

"You really thought you would get away with this, Anna?" he spoke powerfully. He placed a hand on her chest.

"You're done," he spoke and her eyes began to brighten and with a shriek, she was blown to pieces. John's eyes fixed on Uriel, who was stunned.

"I...I didn't know-"

"Goodbye, Uriel," he snapped his fingers and the angel was gone. Mary stood in fear next to him.

"What did you do to John? Who are you?" she cried before he placed two fingers to her forehead, knocking her unconscious, leaving only Dean , Castiel, and a dead Sam.

"Dean Winchester...I believe this meeting is long overdue. Before we begin," he flung Castiel into the wall, willing his mouth shut. Castiel tried to call out to Dean, but to no avail.

"I don't like being interrupted," he cupped his hands behind his back.

"Who are you?" Dean asked, stepping back a little.

"Michael," he said firmly. Dean swallowed hard.

"Oh...so you're the one who wants my skin? Like I told your thugs the first time, the answer is no. Now fix my brother, you douche!"

"All in good time," Michael tilted his head and sighed. "Dean...do you know why you and Sam are the vessels? Because it's in your blood. That's why I can possess your father. It's in his blood and his father's before that. Think of the millions upon millions of random acts of chance that it took for Mary and John Winchester to meet. How could it even be that they did? It's because it isn't random. It isn't chance. You are part of a line that goes all the way back to Cain and Abel. You were born for this single purpose, Dean," he approached Dean and placed his hands on his shoulders. "It doesn't matter that I underestimated Diniel...he got to you before I could, but the chain isn't broken yet. Tonight isn't the night. But when the time comes, Dean Winchester," he squeezed his shoulders, "you will say yes."

Dean didn't argue. He didn't have the vocalization skills to argue. Michael flicked his wrist and Castiel fell from the wall, gasping for air. "I'm going to make sure your parents don't remember this whole ugly mess," he walked over to Mary and placed a hand on her forehead. "They won't even remember you were here."

Dean's eyes widened. "But everything I told her...the nursery fire...she's gonna go in-"

"Yes," he nodded. "She will. And she will die. This is how it is meant to be, Dean. You cannot rewrite destiny. You don't get to choose your fate. "

Dean glanced down at Sam, who lay dead on the floor, and Castiel, who was still gasping for air as if punched in the stomach.

"Screw fate," he said, looking Michael square in the eye. "Screw your random acts of chance. You aren't going to get me. Now fix them," he pointed to Sam and Castiel. Michael studied them for a moment, then turned to Castiel.

"You're poison, Castiel. Poison kills. Don't forget it."

In a flash, Castiel and Sam were gone.

"Where-"

"They are both back in their own time, good as new," he placed a hand on Dean's forehead. "I'm done with you Dean. I would like to speak with Diniel now."

He forced Diniel to the front again, causing Dean to hit his knees and cry out in pain. Dean's eyes flashed blue and Michael knelt down in front of him.

"You cannot hold that vessel forever, Diniel," he said coldly. He gripped his chin and forced him to look up as blood poured out of his nose. "Besides...we have a plan B of sorts. This time, I don't see you stopping me. I will have Dean Winchester and you and Castiel will die for keeping him from me...I'll see to that."

In a blinding white light and searing pain through every nerve in Dean's body, the house around them disappeared.

* * *

><p>Castiel paced the living room, Sam sitting on the couch bouncing his knee in anticipation.<p>

"Where the Hell is he, man!? What if Michael-"

"He's ok, Cas," Sam assured him for the fifth time in ten minutes. About that time, a thud shook the floor and Dean fought to pull himself up off the floor. He was drained.

Castiel and Sam moved quickly to pull him up. "Dean, what happened? Are you ok?"

"I'm," Dean got out before passing out cold. Castiel and Sam moved him to the couch and Bobby returned to the living room with three beers that he dispersed among them.

"So...he said no again," Bobby said solemnly.

"No to the end," Castiel nodded. "I learned something from Dean tonight. With enough willpower, fate can be changed."

Castiel set his beer down and took his sleeve in his hand, wiping the blood from Dean's face. He sighed.

"Well, here we are- Team Free Will. One ex-blood junkie, a high school drop-out with six bucks to his name and Mr. Comatose," he smirked. "We're gonna beat this."


	16. The Third Winchester

**Happy Singles Awareness Day! I spent mine not single and in a hotel suite after watching Jupiter Ascending (hella good movie, btw). Now he's playing Minecraft and I'm writing to you! Working on a new Glee fic and this one as well. You're finally caught up to where I am in the story. Now we're all on the same page! **

**Okey Dokey, let's light this candle!**

* * *

><p>Dean was almost back to normal in a week's time. Castiel was quite fine with laying low for a while, working on the Impala and making sure Dean stayed rested while Sam and Bobby worked on trying to hunt down the last two horsemen. Dean had been acting strangely, reserved more than usual. Castiel had tried multiple times to engage Dean in more interesting things than the floor he seemed to be fixated on most of the time, but something was seriously getting under his skin.<p>

Castiel finally packed his tools back into the shop and wiped the grease from his hands to go back inside. As he was walking to the door, he noticed movement out of the side of his eye.

Dean was leaning against an old van, hands in his pockets, staring up at the setting sun. Castiel felt his breath catch a moment- seeing Dean in that light always got to him. He shook his head and walked over to him slowly, but Dean didn't seem to notice.

"Thought you were resting," Castiel leaned against the van with him, keeping a small space between them.

"I don't sleep, Castiel," he said automatically, eyes never leaving the sun. Castiel sighed.

"What's going on? You haven't been right since you talked to Michael. What did he say to you?"

"The day I left Dean with his new family, I made them and him a promise...no harm would ever come to them. Occupying this vessel is a death sentence for him."

"Yeah, but with Michael in it, the planet will roast," Castiel stiffened a little. "Dean, what are you thinking?"

"I don't know what to do anymore, Castiel," he looked into Castiel's eyes. He looked desperate...defeated. "I cannot let this go on because I know if I don't give up the vessel they'll kill him if only for their own satisfaction."

Castiel looked at him in disbelief. "You're gonna give Dean up!?"

Dean leaned back against the van and fisted his hair, breath coming in short pants. "I don't know- my chest feels heavy-"

"Woah, woah, chill, ok?" Castiel pulled Dean to him, feeling a panic attack was not just a human occurrence. "You don't have to give Dean up. Doing that will only put the world in danger. Dean is screwed either way."

"Not helping," Dean breathed heavily against his chest.

"I know, angel, I'm sorry, just...don't give in to them. This isn't what we do. We fight. What would Dean want?"

"I know what he wants," Dean leaned up and looked up at Castiel, eyes shining as if he were starting to cry. "He wants to keep Sam from saying no. He wants everything to be ok. He doesn't want anyone else to die. Neither do I," he swallowed hard and Castiel cupped his face in his hand.

"Then we have to cut this off at the source. We'll find the horsemen, we'll take the rings and we'll go from there. I'm not letting you give up, Dean."

Dean's jaw gave a twitch, but he finally nodded. Castiel leaned in and kissed him gently. Dean relaxed a little under his hand as it moved to his hip and pulled him to his body. In the silence of the salvage yard, Castiel kissed Dean for a while, feeling that it was helping to ground him. The sound of a truck backfiring down the road caused them to jump back a little and a small laugh rose from Castiel's throat.

"Guess that's our cue to-"

He was cut off by a throbbing pain in his head accompanied by Enochian. Dean must have felt it,too, because he leaned against the truck and grabbed his head.

"What the hell-?" Castiel asked.

"Something is happening. Something big."

"You're not going alone," Castiel gripped Dean's arm. "Take me with you."

With a defeated sigh, they ended up in a forest in the middle of nowhere. Trees lay uprooted on the ground around them.

"Looks like a bomb when off...like when I was raised from Hell," Castiel said thoughtfully as he looked around.

"Cas...look," Dean walked toward a cleared section. The ground was pulsing as if something were moving beneath it. A cracked twig caused Castiel to turn.

"Dean!" he called as he ducked a swing from an angel blade. From seemingly nowhere, Dean pulled his own blade and stabbed the angel attacking them in the chest. Another grabbed Castiel from behind and after several headbutts to the face, the angel staggered and Castiel stabbed him in the throat. Silence fell and Dean and Castiel scanned the area, weapons drawn.

"They gone?"

Dean nodded. "Yes...what were they doing here?"

Castiel dropped his blade and returned to the pulsating dirt, seeing it start to cave in the center. A dirty set of fingers clawed at the sky.

"Dean, help me," Castiel started moving dirt around the hand and it reached up and grabbed his wrist. Dean helped Castiel pull a man from the ground and dropped him at their feet.

"No...way," Castiel's eyes widened. "I know this guy. Let's get him to Bobby's."

Dean picked up the man and flew them back to the living room and dumped him on the couch.

"Sam, Bobby!" Castiel called and knelt down, feeling the pulse of the dirty man on the couch. He was alive.

Sam rounded the corner with Bobby and stilled in his tracks.

"Cas...is that-?"

"Yep...Adam," Castiel sighed.

Adam Mulligan was a teenager when they met him first- a ghoul ate him and his mother. They tried to save him, but were too late. In their early investigation, they discovered a very big secret about Adam.

His father was John Winchester.

"You brother!?" Bobby said in shock when they explained. Dean looked shocked.

"There's another Winchester brother?"

"Yes...what the hell is he doing here, though? He was killed by a ghoul," Sam sat in a chair beside Adam, resting his elbows on his knees.

Dean let out a sigh. "Plan B."

Cas, Sam and Bobby turned to look at him. "What's plan B?" Sam asked.

"Something Michael said to me before he sent me back...The Winchester bloodline is strong enough to contain Michael...meaning a Winchester, Sam's brother...they would make a suitable host for him. It's not perfect, but since Dean continues to refuse Michael, they seem to have gone to another plan."

"Raising Adam to make him a vessel," Castiel nodded. "Makes sense...so what do we do?"

Adam stirred on the couch and they all turned to face him. He jumped back at the sight of them.

"Easy," Sam held up a hand.

"Who the hell are you? Where's Zachariah!?" he looked around frantically.

"Adam...this is gonna sound crazy, but my name is Sam Winchester," Sam said, "John Winchester was my father,too."

Adam looked at him, eyes narrowing.

"Yeah...he warned me about you," he looked up at Castiel and Dean. "I'm guessing you're Castiel and Diniel...he told me about you, too...and your extra-curricular activities."

Castiel glanced at Dean, who looked a little confused by the school reference, then rolled his eyes.

"Look, kid, what he is planning to do is going to end the world. Do you really wanna be responsible for that? Fighting your brother and roasting the planet in the process?"

"Just because we share a dad doesn't make us family," he shot at Sam, "My mom is my family and if I do my job, I'll get to see her again. And yeah, he told me the fighting may get a little hairy, but it's the devil. We gotta stop him."

Sam let out a sigh and looked to Castiel, seeming defeated.

"There's another way," Castiel finally said. Adam turned his attention to him.

"Really? What is it?"

Castiel shared a glance with Sam and Bobby. "We're working on it. Until then, I think you should stay here. If we can save billions of lives, we're doing this. Roasting the planet is a last resort."

Adam didn't look too pleased with this idea. "So...I'm a prisoner now?"

Sam gave a small shrug. "Just give us a few days."

Adam rolled his eyes and sighed. "This better work."

"Kid has some serious manner problems," Castiel grumbled and sipped his beer.

"He was given an ultimatum, Castiel," Dean said in a hushed voice as he flipped through the book of Revelations for the hundredth time. "Say yes and he gets his mother back. Would you or would you not be angry if someone held you against your will while trying to achieve such an end?"

Castiel thought and Dean was right. "Yeah, well, he's still a little shit."

"Um, guys?" Sam walked in holding a package. "This came for us. Says it's from 'Your trickiest pal'?"

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Really? The trickster is causing mail-order chaos now?"

Sam opened it to find a copy of 'Casa Erotica' inside with a post-it on the front that said 'Watch Me' on the front.

"This is about to get very uncomfortable, I can tell," Castiel shifted over so Sam could put the disc in his laptop. "I love you, man, but I don't know if I can handle porn with you."

"I have a feeling there's more than just porn here," Sam pressed play and it started off as assumed- sexy girl in a school uniform writing in her diary. Castiel was prepared for something to jump out at him, sitting back away from the screen. There was a knock at the door on screen and the beautiful girl answered it.

"Hello, boys. It's me," Gabriel's face graced the screen. He ripped off the fake moustache. "If you're watching this...it means I'm dead."

Castiel furrowed his brow and leaned forward. "What do you think happened to him?"

"Oh, stop crying, it's pathetic," Gabriel jokingly waved his hand. "I finally did what you said, Castiel...I stood up to my brother... then he stabbed me in the chest...so thanks for that advice," he winked. "Anyoldhow, you're probably full of gross sadness and woe at the moment over my untimely passing, but I have a little intel...there is no possible way you will ever get Lucifer to stand down."

"Optimistic, isn't he?" Castiel rolled his eyes and sipped his beer.

"But," Gabriel held up a finger. "I do know a way you can send him back."

Sam and Castiel exchaged looks.

"'But Gabby, there's no exorcism strong enough for that!'," he mocked them. "True...but you know those fancy class rings the horsemen wear? They, when you collect all four, create a key. This key is to the cage Lucifer spent the last 7,000 years in. With those four rings, you can open the cage and shove his ass back in."

The three of them exchanged looks. They knew the rings were of some importance, but a key to Lucifer's cage?

"Boys, it's been real, it's been fun, but this is me signing off," he smirked as the girl started removing his clothes. "And this is me lying down."

Sam slammed the laptop shut when moans started coming through the speakers. "Gross."

"The rings make a key...all we gotta do is get them and get Lucifer close enough to push him over the edge," Castiel stood up and headed to the den where Bobby was sitting at his desk and pulled out the Bible. "Guess this calls for a little research."

As they read up on the appearance of Pestilence, Sam seems to be in deep thought, staring off into space.

"Dude, research is like your porn, yet you seem uninterested," Castiel said to him, shaking him from his thoughts.

"Just...thinking about something."

Castiel waited, but he didn't get a response. "Wanna share with the class?"

Sam glanced between the three of them then cleared his throat. "Bobby...remember that time you got posessed?"

Bobby gave him a confused look. "Parts of it..."

"You took back control...how did you do that?"

Castiel and Dean were at a loss as to where this was coming from, but Bobby shrugged.

"Just fought my way back to the captain's chair. What are you thinking, kid?"

Sam sighed. "Well...what if we found the rings, made the key...and I say yes to Lucifer and jump in."

Castiel and Bobby gave him looks of disbelief and angrily said, "No!"

"I just talked Dean down off the edge now you wanna jump too!?" Castiel stood up and slammed his book.

"What I did was a million to one, Sam, and that was just a demon...you'll be taking on fucking Lucifer," Bobby argued.

Sam shook his head and held up his hands, "Ok, ok...forget I mentioned it."

The room fell silent again and they went back to trying to focus on Pestilence.

Finding Pestilence was easy. Getting the ring was easy...but upon returning they found Adam had escaped while Bobby was asleep.

The angels got him. He was now the vessel for Michael.

Sam, Dean, Castiel now sat in the living room at Bobby's, feeling the weight of defeat.

"Jesus, who long does it take to make a whiskey run," Castiel rubbed his hand through his hair. At that instant, Bobby walked in, followed by a familiar face.

"Crowley?" The three stood up quickly, on their guard.

"Relax...I summoned him," Bobby grumbled and dropped the whiskey on the table.

"What the hell for?" Sam asked.

"Death," Crowley stated plainly. "I've found him."

The three exchanged looks. "Just like that?" Castiel asked.

"Hi, Crowley, I'm a demon," he mocked them. "Yes, just like that."

Bobby looked a little uncomfortable as Crowley looked him up and down.

"Not gonna tell them what it cost, Bobby?"

Castiel, Dean and Sam slowly turned to him.

"Bobby...what did you do?" Sam asked. Bobby looked up and sighed.

"The world's gonna end...seems silly to get worked up over one little soul..."

Castiel acted as if he hadn't heard him correctly. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You sold your soul!?" Sam burst out. Dean shook his head and ran his hands through his hair.

"We needed Death and I got him, so don't bitch at me," Bobby bit back.

"Did you kiss him?" Dean piped up. Castiel and Sam looked at Dean in surprise, then to Bobby, who looked distressed, then answered, "No!"

Crowley cleared his throat and held up his cellphone, which showed a photo of he and Bobby sealing the deal with a kiss. The boys looked uncomfortable.

"Why'd you take a picture?" Bobby asked calmly.

"Why'd you use tongue?" Crowley jested. "Whatever, you got your toy now I've got mine."

"I can't believe you sold your soul," Castiel growled at Bobby.

"Pawned," Crowley corrected him. "I fully intend to give it back."

"Then give it back!" Castiel turned on Crowley, who shrugged.

"I can't. All contracts are binding. He gets it back when Lucifer is out of the picture. Lock the pup in his cage and it's all his."

Castiel let out a shaky breath then looked to Bobby. When he looked back, Crowley was gone.

"Son of a bitch," Castiel grumbled then flopped down on the chair in front of the desk. "Please tell me you have good news."

Bobby crossed his arms and nodded. "Chicago is about to be wiped off the map."


	17. Death and Russia

**This story is DONZO!**

**This isn't the last chapter, but I have finished it and I have started the sequel. As you know, in canon, it picks up a year later with Dean living with Lisa...**

**WELL, I had to get SOMEONE through SOMETHING so we're gonna skip ahead almost 10 YEARS. Sorry about the unnecessary CAPS!**

**Anyway, here's either the next to last or next to next to last chapter. ...EEP**

**also, can anyone truly spell the word definitely? I had to use autocorrect just to type it then. ugh.**

**And by the way...prepare for cuteness/sadness overload...here's the cuteness...sadness comes next**

* * *

><p>The last place he would ever expect to find Death would be a pizza place.<p>

Crowley had led him there as the city of Chicago became the windier city. People were fleeing the city in droves as power lines fell. Storm of the century, the weather man on the radio called it.

"Here, take this," Crowley handed him a scythe. "Death's own. Can kill anything on the planet, including Death himself, rumor has it."

"Thanks. Remind me to stab you with it next time I see you," Castiel grumbled. "Come on, then."

"Oh, I'm not going. Ta," Crowley gave him a small wave and disappeared. Castiel cursed and got out of the car, the wind nearly taking the door off the hinges.

He snuck in through the back, stepping over bodies as he went. Death was definitely here.

Among the dead, a lone old man sat at a table, his cutlery scraping against a plate in front of him. He stared out the window and took a bite of his food, watching the city fall apart around him. Castiel gripped the scythe in his hand and felt a burning against his palm. He tried to ignore it, but it became so hot he dropped it, causing his stomach to drop with it. The scythe shook and flew to the table. The old man glanced toward his shoulder.

"Castiel," his deep, calm voice spoke. "Join me."

Castiel hesitated, then stepped forward, making his way toward the table clumsily as he stepped on a woman's hand.

"Sorry about the mess...sit," he nodded to the chair next to him. Castiel sat down warily.

"Try the pizza, it's delicious," he looked up. Castiel finally saw the face of Death- bony, sallow skinned, much like one would imagine Death to look like with none of the piercing evil.

Castiel swallowed hard and took a slice from the middle of the table, reached for his silverware and ate the small triangle he had cut from the end. He didn't know what was happening but at least he would die full.

"Don't worry, Castiel...you won't die today," he looked up at him. "You aren't on the schedule."

Castiel felt a sense of relief. "That's...reassuring, I guess."

"It should be."

Castiel put his fork down. "Why? I mean...I came here to kill you and take your ring. If I were you, I'd be pissed."

Death gave a small quirk of the lip. "That is why I am me and you are you. You could not have killed me anyhow. I wouldn't allow it."

Castiel cleared his throat. "Wow," he rubbed the back of his neck. "This is far above my pay grade."

"Agreed," Dean nodded. "You are in far over your head, angel. This task you have chosen to undertake will not come without a hefty price."

"We're going to save an entire planet-"

"There are millions of planets, Castiel," Death took another bite of pizza. "I myself have grown bored with yours many times."

"I still don't get how you aren't killing me right now," he let out a nervous huff. Death looked up at him seriously.

"I'd like you to contemplate how insignificant you are to me. I'm old, Castiel. Very old. I have seen infinite numbers of men, women and children die and be born...what have you seen?"

Castiel felt himself shrinking into nothing at the simple thought of it. "Well...that's hard to beat."

"Don't get snarky, sereph," he said. "Back to your true intentions...I don't see how you and your friends will come out of this, but this ring," he placed his fork down and pulled the ring off his bony finger. "I'm inclined to give it to you."

Castiel's eyes widened. "Give it to me? Just like that?"

"Lucifer...a brat...he has me under his control. Some seemly little spell," he spat, slowly turning the ring in his long fingers. "I am bound and could not find you myself. The fates have put you here so here is your burden," he placed the ring on the table and slid it toward Castiel, who slowly took it.

"There is...one condition."

Castiel knew it wouldn't be that easy. "What is it?"

"You must do anything possible to insure Lucifer is returned to his cage. I understand...your friend Sam Winchester is the vessel?"

Castiel's stomach churned and he nodded.

"The greater good usually demands great sacrifice. You will allow Sam Winchester to say yes as intended. Do not let Lucifer win. Do you understand me?"

Castiel wanted to throw the ring right back in the horseman's face, tell him to fuck off, kill him with his own scythe...but he swallowed his anger.

"Yeah...I understand."

Death sat back and let out a deep breath. "Then go."

Castiel stood quickly and started to walk away, but stopped.

"I have a condition as well," he turned and looked out the window. "Chicago-"

Death sighed. "It can stay, I suppose...I enjoy the pizza." He stood up and walked over to Castiel. "I almost forgot...I suppose you would like to know how to make the key."

* * *

><p>Castiel sat outside in the shop at Bobby's, the four rings on the table in a circle as instructed, the ring of Death in the center. They shook momentarily then snapped together, causing Castiel to jump.<p>

"Holy shit," he mumbled, pulled them apart, and did it again. Bobby came walking out, two beers in his hand.

"Where's Dean?" Castiel asked.

"Went to run errands...at least that's all he said before he whipped outta the room like a bat outta hell," Bobby chuckled. "Said he had something he wanted to do."

Castiel gave a small smile, but didn't respond. Bobby handed him his beer and looked at the rings.

"So, that's it, huh? The key to Lucifer's box?"

"Yep. Death gave me the spell and all I gotta do is say the words," Castiel picked up the key and twisted it around in his fingers. "Hey, Bobby?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think Death will do if you lie to his face?"

Bobby sat down across from him. "Nothing good...what did you do?"

"Told him I would let Sam give Lucifer a ride."

Bobby shook his head. "Why the Hell would you do that, Cas?"

"He was giving me the final piece of the puzzle, Bobby, what would you have done?"

Bobby thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Yeah...you're right. Does Sam know?"

"No...don't really know what to say."

"Well, here he is," he nodded toward the tall man walking toward them. "Now or never."

Castiel sighed as Bobby stood and clapped Sam on the shoulder. "I'm gonna go see if Dean is back. May get him to move some furniture around for me. Keep him busy for a while while you two talk."

Sam gave Castiel a look. "Talk about what?"

Castiel took a swig of his beer and sighed. "About this whole 'Letting the Devil in' business. If you think you can do it...then do it."

Sam's eyes went wide. "Cas...you really mean that?"

"If you fuck this up, I'll kill you," he said seriously, but Sam nodded.

"I can do this."

Castiel shook his head. "You shouldn't have to, Sammy. None of this should be happening. We shouldn't be involved in this."

"You aren't, Cas-"

"Bullshit. Just because I'm not a vessel doesn't mean anything. You are the only brother I ever knew and now I'm throwing you to the dogs."

"No, you aren't. It's my decision and I can do it. I can end this. I let him out, so let me put him back."

Castiel felt pride for Sam at that moment. Sam was far beyond his years when Castiel had come into the picture, but he was always the little one- always four years behind felt like it was his job to protect Sam and seeing this level of confidence in the man gave him hope for the first time in a long time.

"You know... if I backflip into that box...I'm not coming back," Sam said solemnly.

"Yeah...I know," Castiel nodded and looked up at him. Sam looked scared, but sure. "No more talk about it. Tomorrow, we find the Devil. Tonight, we pretend the world isn't going to shit."

* * *

><p>Castiel, Sam and Bobby sat around in the living room for most of the night, ignoring the open books lying around the room and settled for having beer and reminiscing about old hunts. Castiel was starting to get a little worried about Dean. He had been gone for a while.<p>

"I'm hitting the sack, boys. Early start tomorrow," Bobby clapped each of their shoulders and gave Castiel a knowing look before heading toward the stairs.

"I'm gonna go, too. Where's Dean?" Sam asked, looking around. "Guy's been MIA all night."

"I know. Hope he's ok."

A flutter of wings alerted them to the kitchen, where Dean entered from, looking a little nervous but no worse for the wear.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Russia," he stated simply, giving Sam a look.

"Oh, yeah, right, I'm gonna go to bed. Night, guys," he nodded to them before heading upstairs.

"What the Hell?" Castiel questioned before he felt a hand on his shoulder and the familiar feeling of being flown from one destination to another. It was cold- snow on the ground and mountains in the distance.

"Dean, where are we?" Castiel looked around and saw a small house sitting near the edge of the mountain they were on. The fire from the grate inside was lighting up the windows.

"I know tomorrow is it, Castiel," Dean said beside him, sliding his hand into Castiel's.

"It'll make 'last night on earth' number three, then?" Castiel asked with a strained smile on his face. Dean cupped his cheek.

"The beginning of the end, more like," he leaned his forehead against Castiel's, his warm breath on his lips a stark contrast to the biting cold. "I just...for a while we have been in a swirling storm of evil and death...everything that has happened has hurt worse each time. So tonight there is no Heaven, no Hell, no angels..."

Castiel leaned back and looked at Dean. "Is this...a date?"

Dean looked a little nervous. "If you don't want to we can go back-"

Castiel shut him up with a kiss, almost laughing against his lips. "You are adorable."

"Am not," Dean rebutted, but Castiel kissed him again.

"Yes, Diniel...I would love to go on a date with you."

A look of relief swept over Dean's face. "Good...I mean, it's what human couples do, right? You've been on them before?"

"A couple," Castiel shrugged. "But this is your first, so this is really special."

"Why?"

"The first date is where you get to know one another and hope that the person sitting across from you is into it enough to kiss you goodnight."

Dean gave him a confused look. "But you kissed me before the date."

"Fine, I take it back," Castiel backed away, taking all hands off Dean, who looked a little confused still. "Thank you for inviting me on our first date, Diniel," he said cordially. "Shall we go in?"

Dean bit back a smile. "Yes, we should."

They stepped into the house, comprised of two small rooms, a fireplace, a television, and a pallet on the floor. There was a group of small white flowers in a vase in the center of it.

"Dean..." Castiel started, but lost the words. He really went all out.

"From my findings, a restaurant is usually involved, but I don't eat and, though I enjoy watching you indulge in the human vice that is consuming food, I figured we could watch a movie instead... I've never seen one before."

Castiel looked over at him, eyes trying not to swim with tears. "Where did all this come from?"

"Well...after this is over...you want to end your life as a hunter. Be human. This is the sort of things humans do, right?"

He was trying to be human...for Castiel. Castiel swallowed the large lump in his throat and smiled with a nod. "Yeah...it is."

Dean gave him a sweet smile and took his hand, leading him over to the pallet on the floor and pulling the flowers from the vase. "It's edelweiss," he smiled. "It's from-"

"Tibet," Castiel finished, feeling his heart ache at the cheesiness of the angel, but he let out a laugh. "You went to the mountain and got them, didn't you?"

"First dates are also supposed to be awkward, I understand," Dean laughed and placed the flowers back in the vase. Castiel ran a finger over one of the soft petals.

"They're beautiful, Dean. Thank you."

Dean resisted the urge to kiss him. The date had yet to end. There was a stack of movies next to the television and Dean slid over to them. "I don't know what movies are good, but the guy at the store said these were his favorites. They mostly seem to involve killing-"

"Yeah, 'Die Hard', 'Taken'," Castiel laughed as he looked through them. He found one and grabbed it. "Woah, ok, this guy wins. 'The Green Mile' may be one of the greatest movies of all time."

"Distances having color association is appealing to you?"

"No, no, it's a prison flick based on a book. The green mile is death row...it's awesome, trust me."

Settling back, backs against a couple of pillows they found on the couch, they started the movie. Dean seemed very fascinated with the idea of movies.

"So...they pay these people to be filmed pretending to be other people so other people can watch them?"

Castiel bit back a laugh. "Generally, yeah. They make a fuckton of money doing it, too."

"It's strange...but I kind of enjoy it," he said, never taking his eyes off the screen as Tom Hanks patrolled the mile. It was a very long movie, Castiel knew, but Dean never let his attention waver. Somehow, around the time Wild Bill made his entrance, Dean had made his way into the warmth that was Castiel's side. The chill from outside was coming in past the fire from the fireplace and, though it broke first date protocol, Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulders and pulled him close.

"You know this is a little close for a first date," he said softly to Dean, who shushed him with his eyes on the screen. Castiel laughed and turned back to the screen.

The movie went on when Percy stomped Mr. Jangles, Dean jumped.

"He just-"

"Wait for it," Castiel rubbed his shoulder. Seeing John Coffey resurrect the small mouse in his hands had Dean in awe.

"Is John Coffey an angel?"

Castiel glanced down at Dean. "No...but he heals people."

Realization came over Dean's face. "He didn't kill those little girls, Castiel."

Castiel laughed and nodded. "Now you see why I like movies."

As the credits rolled, Castiel looked down at Dean, who had a small tear escape his eyes.

"You cried."

"It was so sad, Cas. They killed him but he didn't do anything wrong. And the mouse..."

Castiel laughed and squeezed Dean's hand. "You thought that was a sad movie, wait until you see Toy Story 3."

"How can a story about toys be sad?" Dean asked, wiping the tear away quickly.

"Oh...you have no idea," Castiel scoffed and straightened up. "Thank you for this, Dean. Do you know how long it's been since I sat down and watched a movie?"

"I hope you get to do it more often... and since now I have to watch this Toy Story 3, I assume there is a 1 and 2 we must see."

Castiel swallowed and nodded. "Yeah, there is. We'll do that sometime."

Dean smiled and bit his lip. "So...when am I allowed to kiss you goodnight?"

Castiel's face flushed when Dean bit his lip. It was dirty in a sweet sort of way. "How about we skip that and I show you what the third date usually looks like."

Castiel lay Dean on his back, spooning his side while he ran his hand down Dean's chest. He kissed his angel softly, feeling sweaty hands sliding into his black hair.

"I like the third date already," Dean said breathily. Castiel smiled and put more into his kiss, darting his tongue out to trace the lip Dean had been biting on before.  
>Dean sighed and darted his tongue out to receive Castiel's as hands became more than gentle. Castiel reached down and unsnapped Dean's jeans, slipping a hand down into the underwear he had on and scraping his nails up the sensitive thighs. Dean shivered and rocked up toward Castiel's hand.<p>

"Cas," he mumbled and tried to reach down to Castiel's hand to guide him, but Castiel removed his hand and gripped Dean's, climbing on top of him and holding his hands to the floor.

"Screw the third date, I want honeymoon," Castiel huffed and rolled his hips, making Dean groan.

"What's a honeymoon?" Dean asked, interest peaked.

"After a couple gets married, they run off for a week or so and have sex," Castiel leaned down and mouthed at Dean's neck.

"We didn't have one of those..." Dean cracked a small smile.

"Then let's have one now," Castiel sat up. "We're bound, which is as good as married...we'll call this our honeymoon."

"From first date to honeymoon in," Dean glanced up at the clock. "Three hours. You are a gentleman, Castiel."

Castiel laughed and pulled Dean to sit up, pulling his t-shirt off his back and allowing Dean to do the same to him. They kissed lazily, not feeling terribly rushed. Dean raked his nails slowly up and down Castiel's back, which made Castiel buzz with need. He took his time, however, finding the spots with his mouth he knew would break Dean and cause him to react. He took the lobe of Dean's ear between his teeth and sucked gently, causing Dean to roll his hips up again.

"Come on, Cas," he urged as he reached the end of his nail trail and gripped Castiel's ass. "Take me."

The way Dean said it- take me...not fuck me...it always made something stir in Castiel that he couldn't explain. Castiel lay Dean back once again and started tugging on the unbuttoned pants Dean was still wearing for some reason. Dean made quick work of Castiel's as he came back up to kiss him dizzy. Now the slow, easy feeling was swallowed by the need to be connected and Castiel knew there was no need to prolong the process. He quickly prepared Dean and coated himself before wrapping Dean's legs around his waist and sliding in.

They both made a noise of almost relief, being back together like that again. It had been a while for the both of them in all the chaos that was the end of the world. It never crossed their mind that this may in fact be the last time they ever saw one another this way- bare before one another catching glimpses of the other's true form as their hands joined together, the tether of their bond connecting and sending shock waves through them. In that moment, they were lovers, they had just had their first date, and they were going to kiss each other goodnight.

Dean came first, the feeling of Castiel's body on top of him enough to send him over. He flipped them over and got on top, riding Castiel through his own. Castiel gripped Dean's hip, his other hand wrapped in Dean's hair as Dean leaned in to kiss and nip at his neck.

"Ol hoath," he said in a tight, strung-out voice that sent Castiel over. He stuttered his movement, feeling Dean's hand slide up into his hair and push it back off his sweaty forehead where Dean placed a kiss. He scratched at Dean's scalp with his blunt nails and let out a soft, breathless laugh.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I never even got to meet your parents..."

Dean rolled his eyes and took the pillow from beside him, whacking Castiel in the face with it. Castiel rolled him over and tickled him, causing him to laugh out loud like Castiel had never heard before. He loved it more than he would ever admit to anyone. If this was truly the end, he knew he could die happy if that laugh was the last thing he would hear.

They lay together for a while before the sun started to rise over the mountain.

"We should get back," Dean squeezed Castiel's hand where it rested on his bare chest. "We have to find Satan today."

"It's so fucked up that you even have to say that," Castiel groaned as he rolled over to start hunting down his clothes.

"Wait," Dean stopped him and tentatively kissed Castiel. It was slow and soft and caught Castiel off guard. When they parted, Castiel looked up at him.

"What was that for?"

"You can't give a goodnight kiss in the day light...night is almost over."

Castiel shook his head. "You are adorable."

"Stop it," Dean rolled his eyes, but Castiel kissed him again, cupping his cheek and inhaling deeply. He wanted to remember it all- the smell of the wood in the fire, the feel of the pallet beneath them, the smell of the edelweiss in the vase beside them- before he left this place and went off to the end.

* * *

><p><strong>eww gross cheeeeeese.<strong>

**I can't deny that I grinned like a dumbass the whole time...and throwing The Green Mile in just made me happier. Po' Missa Jangles...**


	18. Armageddon

**Dun duh duh dum dum dum DAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**Ok, so here we are- the end of this story I started forever ago and never thought I would finish but here we are at the end. Thank you for sticking with it and being superfuckingabnosome. Yes, a sequel is coming. Yes, it will follow the line (roughly) of season six, but nine years into the future. Sam WILL be back but there will be some things different...like WHY Dean (Castiel in canon) does what he does (Castiel does in canon)...make sense?**

**Clear as mud?**

**Good.**

**Sidenote: been getting asked how to pronounce Dean's real name... Diniel. I've seen it pronounced 'Din-yel' and 'Daneel'...I've been saying 'Daneel' which is a little strange because Jensen's wife is Daneel, but you get the picture. Diniel is an angel from lore, though so i'm not being creepy...no more than usual...**

**Ok, thank you guys for being supportive and awesome. If you are a glee fan (yes I still have the doc files on my computer of glee fics because GLEE WILL NEVER DIE) I will be updating Glee Love. Don't worry, punkins. It will happen. These damn Supernatural fans just rock so damn hard it's unreal :)**

**So another little asside- yes, Chuck is not in this. He's too busy drinking margaritas on a beach with some cute little fan girl (yes in my head Chuck and Becky Rosen 5ever ok!?) So, they figure out about Stull Cemetery through other means. ALSO. *I'm gonna be done eventually* the "cas becoming the new god* thing will come to light again...just not in this story. **

**I love you nerds and Chuckspeed.**

* * *

><p>It was hot as Hell outside at Bobby's. Castiel sat in the shop, flipping through every paper in the country wishing he was back in Russia. He glanced over at Dean, who was sitting in a similar position, face set in concentration as he read as well. Bobby was packing the van and rambling about all that he had found.<p>

"There's a small flu epidemic in Arkansas, which could just be some snotty kid who didn't wash his hands. There's a huge riot in Oregon, which is weird enough in itself- I mean when do people start rioting in Oregon? Then there's a story in Detroit-"

"That's it," Sam finally spoke, stopping and looking up at Bobby. Bobby gave him a confused look.

"Really? It's a ten degree temperature drop...it's only within a 1 mile radius, which I guess is a little weird-"

"No, that's it. He told me it would be Detroit," Sam said, suddenly looking nervous. Castiel, Dean and Bobby all exchanged looks.

"Alright...you guys ready to do this?" Bobby asked, seeing the looks of apprehension.

Castiel sighed. "No...but Sam is," he nodded to Sam. "He's got this."

Sam swallowed and nodded. This was it. Sam and Bobby took the van while Castiel and Dean followed in the Impala. It was a long drive and Dean was being very quiet about something.

"What's up?" Castiel finally asked.

Dean sighed. "There's about 8 gallons of demon blood in your trunk."

Castiel looked quickly over at him. "Excuse me?"

"If Sam is going to do this, he has to consume all of it. It will make his vessel strong enough to resist-"

"Hell no," Castiel shook his head. "We didn't sign up for that."

"I discussed it with Sam...he's talking to Bobby about it as well. The guy Lucifer is in now is consuming gallons of it a day. It is the only way to keep the vessel from exploding. He knows the consequences, Cas. And if you think about it...does it really matter at this point if he consumes it?"

Castiel wanted to be pissed and argue, but Dean was right. Point of no return meant just that. There was no coming out of this. Sam was going to go to Hell...having to drink demon blood was not an arguable issue.

Upon reaching the building surrounded by reapers, Bobby and Sam stepped out of the van, Bobby looking a little ruffled.

"Did you know-?"

"No, I didn't," Castiel grumbled. "But...he's got this."

Bobby sighed and walked to the front of the van, unable to watch the boy he watched grow up consume gallons of blood. Castiel joined him, giving Dean a look that Dean got and returned with one of reassurance. It made Castiel feel a little better, but it also made him wish that they had never left Russia.

The trunk of the Impala slamming jolted them and Sam came around the corner, looking as if he were ready for a fight.

"Let's do this."

Castiel nodded and turned to Dean. "You and Bobby stay here."

"What?"

"I have to open the cage. There's no reason for you and Bobby to be in danger. Just...be on the look out and-"

Dean kissed Castiel for the first time in front of Sam and Bobby, making Castiel a little nervous, but in the moment, it didn't really seem to matter.

"Just come back, ok?" Dean said when he let go. Castiel swallowed hard and nodded. Dean looked up and Sam, his eyes flashing a momentary blue. Dean walked over and wrapped his arms around Sam.

"I know what you're doing, little brother," the real Dean's voice shook. Sam's face visibly fell. Diniel had given up the reins. "It's crazy, it's stupid and I don't like it, but I know why you are doing it." Dean let his brother go and placed a hand on the side of his neck. "I'm sorry we never knew one another, but I'm happy I've been able to spend a little time with you...Diniel has filled me in on some things, but it's not the same. You stay strong, Sammy. Don't let that winged dickbag get in your head. You fight with all you got, you hear me?"

Sam swallowed tears and nodded. Dean clapped his shoulder and Bobby came up and hugged him.

"You're gonna be fine, son. Give him hell."

Dean's eyes flashed, but his face didn't change. Sam gave him a thankful nod, which he returned and he and Bobby watched as the two men walked away. All Dean could think of was The Green Mile. There was no last prayer, no last words for Sam. Just death.

* * *

><p>Finding Lucifer wasn't hard. He wanted to be found.<p>

He was looking out of a window on the top floor, blowing his breath onto a window pane and drawing a trifurcated scepter on it.

"You know...many think that I burn hot...but that's not really true," he turned, his vessel looking as if it was holding on by a thread. He met Sam's determined gaze.

"You look well-fed, Sam," he cupped his hands in front of him. "Good."

"Let's just do this," Sam spat. "I'm saying yes, ok?"

Lucifer tilted his head. "Really? You don't think I don't know what you're doing?" he glanced between Sam and Castiel, who had the key in his pocket. "You don't think I don't know you plan to invite me in then throw me back in that cage?"

Sam sighed. "You're not wrong...but I don't plan to just say yes and take you with out a fight."

Lucifer looked surprised. "So...you're saying we're gonna have a one on one...mano y mano in your noggin? Oh...that's good, Sammy. But you'll lose."

"Maybe," he said, glancing over at Castiel. "But I'm still saying yes."

Lucifer smiled and nodded. "I told you it would always happen in Detroit."

It started with a ringing, followed by the bright white light that emitted from the vessel's eyes as Lucifer removed himself from the man's body and entered Sam's. Castiel couldn't watch, turning away and grimacing at the increasing pitch of the ringing. The building shook, sending plaster falling from the ceiling and windows to fly apart and cut at Castiel's hands as he guarded his face. As quickly as it started, it stopped. He looked up and looked around, finding Sam stumbling a little.

"Sammy?"

"Cas, open the cage," he grunted, falling to one knee. "I've got him."

Castiel quickly dug the rings out of his pocket and threw it against the wall. He stumbled through the incantation and the wall started to break away, creating a portal through which Sam would soon fall.

"Come on, Sam," he helped him stand.

"Cas, he's fighting-"

"I know, just go before he gets free," he shoved Sam toward the portal. Sam glanced back at Castiel.

"Come on, Sammy, go," Castiel grabbed Sam's shoulder, but Sam's hand flew up and gripped it, turning him and slamming him hard against the wall. Castiel felt the cinder blocks crack beneath his weight and the air leave his body. His heart dropped.

"Sam's gone, Castiel."

His worst fear had come true- Sam wasn't strong enough.

"You know, I was just screwing with you. I was pretty convincing though, wasn't I?" he sneered then slammed Castiel back against the wall again, causing his vision to blur.

"This is the worst thing you could imagine, isn't it, Castiel? You're about to not only lose the only brother you ever knew, but you are now responsible for the destruction of humanity. And your lover? I'll make sure I kill him first."

He slammed Castiel back again, sending him through the wall this time. Castiel felt himself blacking out, but he fought hard to stand up.

"I'll kill you first, you sick bastard," he slurred. Lucifer knelt down, smiling with Sam's crooked smile.

"I can't wait to watch you try."

Castiel didn't remember Lucifer leaving. He had passed out before that, he assumed. The feel of being carried stirred him.

"Cas, thank god," Bobby's voice reached him and he looked up to see Dean, head bleeding and bruised, carrying him toward the car.

"What happened?"

"Hell, that's what happened," Bobby helped Dean sit Castiel in the back of the van. He leaned against the door and looked back up at the building. The reapers were gone.

"We got blindsided by demons," Bobby was wiping blood of the demon knife. "Your boy here has some serious smiting skills."

Castiel didn't take his eyes away from the building.

"What happened in there? Did he jump?"

They didn't know...how could they not know?

"Cas...what happened?" Dean cupped the side of his neck. Castiel tore his eyes away as the tears welled up.

"It didn't work...he's gone."

"What do you mean it didn't work?" Bobby came around to him, looking frightened. "The demon blood-"

"He couldn't fight him, Bobby," Castiel swallowed. "He didn't stand a chance."

Dean slid his eyes closed and Bobby ripped off his cap.

"What now?" Castiel asked. "How do we fix this?"

Dean shook his head. "I don't know if we can, Castiel."

Castiel looked up at Dean, angered. "You're giving up!?"

"It was a long shot, Cas," Bobby rubbed his head. "We did what we thought we could, but it wasn't enough. This is it."

Castiel slammed his fist against the floor of the van and pushed past them.

"Castiel, I just revived you, you need to sit-"

"You should have just left me dead, then," Castiel shouted over his shoulder. Dean grabbed Castiel's shoulder.

"Don't say that."

"I started this whole mess, Diniel! Sam may have popped the box, but I started this in Hell with Alistair. All of this is on me! Sam is as good as dead and now we're all gonna die. Billions of people we were sworn to protect are going to die! And our Father did NOTHING!"

Dean set his jaw and looked as if he wanted to deny everything Castiel had said, but Castiel turned and started walking away, fuming and buzzing with grace that was itching to blast something away. He glanced up and saw a group of people standing in front of a furniture store where several televisions were set up, running the news. He walked over and saw an odd story about multiple strange events taking place in the state of Kansas. In the center, untouched, was a little town.

"Lawrence?"

Dean and Bobby caught up to him.

"Where is this battle supposed to take place?" he asked, not looking up.

"It's debatable," Dean shrugged. "Many say it would end at the beginning, which could be in the Middle East-"

"Or Lawrence, Kansas?" he asked, nodded toward the television. Dean moved closer to see.

"Do you have a way to get a map of Lawrence?"

* * *

><p>The internet supplied them with a small map of Lawrence. They sat at the library they had broken into in Detroit.<p>

"If you look closer, the activity is surrounding the outer part of Lawrence," Dean said as he compared it with the map from the news story they found. "What's outside of Lawrence?"

Castiel shrugged. "I haven't been there before."

"Me either," he shook his head. Dean seemed to make a sudden realization. He blinked, a flash appearing in his eyes. Slightly dazed, he shook his head.

"Sammy?" Dean asked.

"I'm getting whiplash from you guys playing back and forth like this," Castiel shook his head.

"Did he get in the cage?" Dean asked desperately. Castiel and Bobby exchanged looks, silently letting Dean know that no, he hadn't.

"Great," Dean leaned forward. "Now what?"

"We're trying to find where the last battle will take place. We have a hunch, but we're a little behind on our midwest geography," Castiel slid the two maps toward Dean. "This is Lawrence. There's almost a bubble surrounding this area outside Lawrence."

Dean looked down at the map. "Stull Road...Stull Road," he mumbled to himself. "There's nothing on that road but an old boneyard at the end."

"A cemetery?" Bobby asked. "That's not cliche' at all."

"That's it, then. We gotta get there fast," Castiel packed up the papers. "Thanks, Dean...sorry we didn't have better news."

"No news is good these days," he said sadly. "Is there anything else I can do?"

Castiel clapped Dean's shoulder. "You've been awesome, Dean. I really wish we had gotten to know each other without my lover possessing your body."

Dean gave him a weak smile. "Same here. You guys be careful...go give Satan Hell."

Castiel saw Diniel return and squeezed his shoulder. "You could have just asked him yourself, you know."

"He wanted to help...I figured I would let him forward to be apart of this."

Castiel nodded and looked to Bobby. "You don't have to come, Bobby."

"Like Hell," he lifted the bag onto his shoulder. "I'm not letting you boys die alone."

* * *

><p>Stull Cemetery sat at the end of a dusty back road, a large metal arch with the place's name was the only indication it was there. The headstones were falling over, broken or nonexistent. Dean, Castiel and Bobby sat at the gate, eyes trained on the small piece of land for any sign of movement.<p>

Before long, there they were in a blink of an eye. Adam, the boy they lost to Michael, and Sam, the embodiment of true evil, stood across from each other.

"This is it, boys...let's rock this party up a little," Bobby stated.

"You got the stuff?" Castiel asked Dean, who nodded nervously. "I'll try to get through to Sam. You take care of Michael."

"This is reckless," Dean said, eyes trained on Lucifer. Castiel reached down and squeezed his hand.

"It will be ok, angel."

Dean looked up and nodded. "Good luck, ol hoath."

Castiel tried to make his smile reassuring, but his nerves got in the way, he was sure. He took a deep breath and walked up the path toward the two brothers, who were obviously about to start the fight.

"Hey!"

They both stopped and turned to look at Castiel, who channeled his grace to calm himself. Sam tilted his head.

"You really don't know when to quit, do you? I thought I squashed you."

"Yeah, well, you suck at that, too," he stepped forward, putting a little distance between Sam and Adam.

"You shouldn't be here, Castiel," Adam spoke up. "This doesn't involve you."

Castiel nodded. "No, I know...God's plan, right? The big fight to end all fights...the showdown of brother killing brother for no better reason than Daddy loved humans more than you," he said as he looked up to Lucifer. "I'm not here for Lucifer or Michael, I'm here for Sam."

"Well," Sam seethed. "Sam's not here."

"He is. And right now, I'm speaking to him. If you can here me in there, you can fight. You're stronger than this."

Sam cracked a smile. "You're really pissing me off, Castiel."

"Leave," Adam approached him, "You're not part of this."

All of a sudden, Michael burst into flames. The remains of a Molotov fashioned of a wine bottle, a rag and holy oil lay on the charred ground. Dean and Bobby stood off to the side, Dean lowering his arm.

"You've got your five minutes, Castiel. Make it fast."

Sam looked dangerous, eyes fixed on Dean. "Diniel...did you just Molotov my brother with holy fire?"

Dean looked afraid, he glanced at Castiel then back at Sam. Without a single word, Sam snapped his fingers. Dean exploded where he stood. Gone in the blink of an eye. Castiel felt like he was gonna vomit.

"Diniel," he stammered. Bobby lifted his gun to shoot, but Sam flicked his wrist and Bobby's neck snapped, sending him to the ground.

"I told you I'd kill him first," Sam growled and wrenched Castiel into the air and slammed him to the ground. He began beating him, fist breaking the bones of his cheek and jaw. "I warned you, Castiel. You have no one now and when I burn this world I'll make sure you are alive to see the last man fall."

He slammed him again, Castiel trying to heal himself, but the blows were coming so quickly and he felt he had nothing left to rebuild with. The image of Dean's body bursting repeated in his mind, weakening him. His love and his light was gone.

"Sam can see this, you know," Sam growled, stopping his blows to slam him into the ground again, there was a trench beneath him that broken with the force of it. "He watched me destroy his brother's body, the angel that had become his friend, the man who became like a father to him. I made sure he saw everything. I wanted to spare him the agony, but his fury is making me unstoppable. Now he can watch while I beat his best friend into a meaty pulp."

As quickly as Castiel healed his face, the next blow undid his work, breaking his jaw again. He felt himself dying and he welcomed it. Nothing could be worse than the feeling of being truly alone.

But he's not...Sam is still there.

"S-Sam," he groans, the pain unbearable, but he has to try. "Sammy...I'm still here."

"Shut up," Sam growled and slammed him again.

"Sam...please...fight back," he breathed out, the air in his lungs waning from the obvious punctured lung. Sam goes to swing again, then stops.

Like a moment froze in time, Castiel looked into Sam's eyes and saw everything- he saw Sam and Castiel as boys playing in the back seat of the car while John drove them to the next town, saw Sam finding Castiel after he had returned from Hell, flashes of Sam's greatest memories searing into his brain as if he was sharing them. Sam blinked and dropped Castiel, looking pained.

"Cas...it's ok."

Castiel struggled to sit as Sam pulled the key from his pocket and tossed it to the ground.

"Hurry, Cas," he cried. "I can't hold him long."

Castiel spoke the incantation and the ground opened up, wind whipping around them. Sam crawled to his feet and looked down, then back to Castiel.

"Thank you."

Castiel watched as Sam slid his eyes closed and started to fall. Michael returned, reaching out to grab Sam, but Sam pulled him along with him and down the fell, into the cage.

The ground closed up and the key lay still and useless on the ground. Castiel heard nothing but crows around him. It was dead silent.

He struggled to breathe as he lay back in the dirt, gripping his chest. It was a slow death and he wished it would just end. The sound of fluttering wings broke the silence and footsteps approached him.

The broken bones mended. He gasped as he took in a deep breath of the life he thought was leaving him and sat up. Kneeling beside him, with a sad smile, was Dean.

Castiel scrambled up and gripped him in a hug, earning a tight grip in return. He broke down, sobbing against Dean's shoulder.

"I thought-"

"He did, Cas," he said softly. "He killed me."

The words hurt, but Castiel gripped him tighter, making sure he was really there. "How are you back?"

"I think it was God, Castiel," he leaned back, cupping Castiel's now mended face. "I think He brought me back."

Castiel leaned forward and kissed Dean like he never had before. Dean kissed back, running a hand through his hair and wiping a tear from Castiel's cheek. They let go and Castiel looked over at the body off to the side.

"Bobby," he said sadly. Dean stood up and walked over, kneeling down and placing a hand on Bobby's shoulder. A crack of bone mending later, Bobby sat up off the ground, looking around.

"What the-"

"It's over, Bobby," Dean glanced over at Castiel. "It's all over."

* * *

><p>Castiel didn't want to leave Bobby, but he insisted.<p>

"I'll call you if I need you, son," Bobby smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're getting out. Go live like a normal person for once. Get a job, adopt a kid."

Castiel laughed. "Dean would love that, but I'd be a shit father."

"You'd be a great father," Dean spoke up, appearing from the house with two bags that he loaded into the Impala. "Though your language is abhorent."

"Fuck you," Castiel gave him a smirk. Bobby shook his head.

"You two are gross, you know that?" he said, a hint of a smile beneath his beard. "Like...cute gross."

"So what are you going to do, Bobby?" Dean asked, walking over. "Now that the Apocolypse is over, the demons have retreated."

"I'll find something big and bad to tango with, I'm sure," he shrugged. "So, Castiel...how do you plan to avoid the angels who want you to be God?"

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Jesus, don't remind me..."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Dean reached up and squeezed Castiel's shoulder. "For now...let's just forget everything- Heaven and Hell aren't going anywhere."

"Well said, kid," Bobby nodded to him. "Now go on, get," he waved them off. Castiel pulled Bobby into a hug and the gruff man hugged him back. "You take care, you hear me? Don't be a stranger, either."

Castiel nodded and Bobby reached over and pulled Dean into a hug, causing the angel to raise his brow. "You either. Take care of him, you understand?" He said just to Dean.

Dean nodded. "I will, Bobby."

They got into the car and put Bobby and the salvage yard into their rear view mirror. They were going to a beautiful town in Maine- one where they knew no one knew them and that wasn't easy to find. It was the best place they had found and knew that starting a life there would be easy. Bobby gave Castiel the Impala, knowing what it meant to him in his younger days. Castiel knew that they could easily just fly wherever they wanted to go, but Dean insisted he take it. It was what Sam would have wanted.

Dean had been quiet, settling for looking out of the window with a look of apprehension. Castiel looked over and took Dean's hand.

"Hey," he shook it gently. Dean looked over. "You ok?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah...just can't believe it's finally happening. It's over and we're done."

Castiel smiled and nodded. "We can do whatever we want to do now."

Dean sighed. "That daunting."

"You can do it," Castiel reached up and scraped his fingers through Dean's hair. "We'll do it together."

Dean leaned into the touch and took Castiel's hand, lacing their fingers together. He glanced up at the visor and saw the edelweiss jiggling with the road bumps. He instilled some grace in it to keep it alive forever. The smell of it is sweet and faint, but it made him smile as he looked back over at Castiel, who was singing along to the radio with his sunglasses on, hair being tousled around by the wind. They would have many more nights like that in Russia now.

They unloaded the car in Yarmouth, the chill of the air greeting them as they walked toward the door of the small home they had acquired. It would need couches, a bed, and a television at Dean's insistence, but it came with appliances. It was just short of perfect for them. Until then, after they unpacked the few things they did have, they settled down on a pallet on the floor with the fireplace burning.

"All we're missing is the Green Mile on the TV," Castiel laughed and toyed with Dean's hand where he was holding in on his chest.

"How much does a television cost?" Dean asked.

"More than we have at the moment," he chuckled, "but I start my job at the pier tomorrow, so soon we'll be able to get the stuff we need. Need, being the key word. TV can wait."

Dean sighed. "Yeah, I know."

Castiel pulled him close and kissed him. "We're finally here."

"We are," Dean smiled and ran his hand up Castiel's bicep. "Now what?"

"Well, new house, new place we haven't 'broken in'," Castiel kissed down Dean's jaw. Dean laughed and rolled his eyes.

"You're not thinking with your upstairs brain," he joked. Castiel looked up.

"Where did you learn that phrase?"

"Bobby," Dean shrugged. "I like it."

"Dork," Castiel smiled and rolled over on top of Dean, pressing his hands down and lacing their fingers together. "I like my downstairs brain. It has good ideas."

"Will your downstairs brain be able to help me figure out how to get myself into medical school?" he tilted his head. He had done his research and decided that it was definitely what he wanted to do. The tricky part was that not only was he not born- so no birth certificate or social security number- he had no last name.

"Give it some time, it's distracted right now," Castiel rolled his hips. Dean groaned and rolled them over to where he was on top.

"Seriously, Castiel."

Castiel laughed and nodded. "Ok, ok, sorry...it's your fault. Anyway, I think I know enough from hunting to steal an identity for you...the birth certificate is a no-brainer."

"Upstairs or downstairs?"

"If you keep talking about it, I won't make it through this conversation, Dean," he quirked an eyebrow. Dean nodded and mumbled 'go on'.

"Then...there's something I'd also like to do...if you're ok with it."

Dean gave him a curious look. "What's that?"

"After all of that is settled...I want to marry you."

Dean's jaw slackened. "You...what?"

"I know we're bound and all that but...for years I was human and I grew to sort of appreciate the customs...one of them being marriage. It's legal here for two men to get married so..."

"Yes."

It was so quiet and fast Castiel almost missed it, but Dean's smile and the look in his eye was enough of an answer. Castiel leaned up and kissed him, pulling him down and in close.

"Thank you, Dean."

"Always, ol hoath," Dean responded as Castiel reached down to remove his shirt. Nothing could touch this feeling- the feeling that life was going to go on. Good and evil would come and go but nothing could touch this feeling. In the near darkness, the street lamp flickered outside, but they didn't notice. Nor did they notice a figure standing beneath it. Nothing could stop this feeling. Nothing could stop them.

* * *

><p><strong>So...sam will have been back for nine years in the sequel...how the hell with they deal with that? and what damage with that do to the soul?...find out...journey into my world in the next installment<strong>


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